When the promise of Relationship activates instant Metamorphosis: DAY 431

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When the promise of Relationship activates instant Metamorphosis: DAY 431

In the recent Relationship Success Support interview (will be available on EQAFE this Sunday/next Wednesday) – an interesting point opened up with regards to how we would (and the extent to which we would) ‘change ourselves for Relationship’ / the prospect of Relationship.

One of the first points mentioned is how, within the media/magazines for example you get the “what to do/wear and what not to do/wear for the first date”, or “what put men off from women and what put women off from men”, or “what are women looking for in a man and what is a man looking for in a woman”. It’s interesting here that some people take such things as ABSOLUTES, like these are the views held by ALL women or by ALL men…when, this is not in fact so. I mean, the lists weren’t made by asking all the billions of people available out there / in relationships already. However, some take it as absolutes and follow such lists as Religion – changing themselves DRASTICALLY just to secure a relationship, but never realising that the real you is eventually going to show/come out. Just changing yourself for the beginning stages of the relationship is Not going to change ALL of you…and then people wonder why relationships don’t work out….

Then, another fascinating point that many may be able to relate to was opened up with asking the question “Why do we Fear ‘being comfortable with who we are/in our own skin’ – essentially showing the prospective partner “this is who I am”, but instead CHANGE and HIDE a lot about ourselves when it initially comes to the relationship”? So, a dimension opened up here – showing how: when you’re in school and you see the boys/girls starting relationships and you don’t, and then start comparing you to those that ARE in relationships and then wonder “what is wrong with ME that I’m not in a relationship/someone isn’t interested in me!” When, the following commonsensical points are not considered: you’re in a SCHOOL with a limited amount of people, thus, certain people are during that time more in alignment with others that are already in the school – the person that you may during that time have been more aligned with was not in your school. And then we as teenagers take that context within/during school and think “there’s something wrong with us because WE weren’t in earlier relationships” when it had NOTHING to do with oneself per say, but that you were in a school with a limited amount of people. And people STILL live with those memories and let such memories define them, and now change themselves for relationships because they believe who/how they are isn’t enough, because it apparently wasn’t enough when they were in school.

The interview explores this process of why/how we change for relationships, why/how we become so self-conscious when it comes to relationships and why we don’t allow ourselves to just be comfortable with ourselves – already from the get-go being able to say/show to the person “this is who/how I am – do you want to share this time/our lives together?” – you know, that you already from the get-go know where you stand with you/who you are…how would the experience of the relationship change then?

We’d within this also suggest investigating the ‘Relationship to Agreement’ Course available in Desteni I Process – assisting and supporting with how to establish a relationship to self and so with another where you know where you stand with you/each other and can walk together as EQUALS and learn from each other and grow, instead of compromising oneself for relationships that only lead to self-consequence / consequential relationship.

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