Friendship Suspicion Character – Part One: DAY 91
(To read this post, it
must be understood that we’re walking this process/Blog - Heaven's Journey to
Life multi-dimensionally, which means – each post covers one dimension, but is
interconnected into/as multi-dimensions in our process of walking the point/question
of “who I am” and how this “I” created/manifested this entire physical
existence. Thus, suggested – to read this Blog from DAY 1, as many of the
points in previous dimensions/DAYS/posts are always brought-through into the
next days/dimensions/posts as all the dimensions interconnect as the
mutli-dimensionality we’ve created/manifested as our separation as
Energy/Consciousness from/of Life/equality and Oneness. Thus, if one is faced
with this post, and have not yet read this Blog from DAY 1 - suggest that self
first start from DAY 1, as otherwise one will have no context of many
dimensions that is walked in this post, that has been dealt with in detail in
previous posts.)
The
First Character-Creation – continued
The
Chicken or the Egg??? – continued
How
the Fruit of Life became Rotten – continued
Who
I Am as Money – continued
As mentioned in the previous
post, we’re in and from this post continuing walking the process of what
manifest when another’s character/personality is changed/inconsistent to
who/how they exist-as in our memories in alignment to our character/personality
we secured/protected/defended in our relationship with them; what processes
manifest in our Conscious/Subconscious Mind as internal conversations/backchats,
to in/as fear – assess/determine whether they are/will be a threat/change to
our self-definitions. And how we will accordingly change in our behaviour as
our protection/defence mechanisms as resistance we go into for a moment while
we determine/assess in our Minds/through asking questions whether the reality
of the threat/change is ‘real’ as re-assessing whether we’ll stay in
relationship with them or slowly, but surely start the process of severing the
ties ‘cordially’ or through manifesting deliberate external friction/conflict
within the relationship to justify/excuse why/how the relationship cannot work,
when in fact: it was always in all ways only to protect/defend our own
personality/character as definitions of Mind/Consciousness.
I
forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, in equality and oneness with
and as Life,
energy and substance, the Mind and the Physical, from the beginning to now –
seen, realised and understood the processes involved within me as the Mind and
the characters/definitions
I have manifested/created as representatives/versions of and as ‘who
I am’ as the Mind/Consciousness, when and as I interact/participate with
another human-being as ‘friend’ that within and during a physical-reality
participation/interaction exposed some inconsistencies/changes within their
external/physical behaviour/demeanour. Where I through and as my Mind-Physical
Eyes, took the present-moment interaction/participation with the human
being/friend into and as a Memory within and on the ‘glass window pane’ within
the Unconscious/Physical-Mind, where my Consciousness scanned/‘security checked’
the alignments within and between my character/personality and the friend’s
character/personality, as that Memory of the present-moment contain all the
detail of our physical-reality
interaction/participation as characters/personalities as a ‘live moment
replica’ of what happened in real-time in the physical. And, the moment my Consciousness
detect inconsistencies/changes within the memory of the present-moment within
and on the ‘glass-window pane; within the memory itself - my
character/personality goes into resonant friction/conflict and the entire
memory of the present-moment move into and as a negative-experience charge of
fear/resistance, as my character/personality in the memory go into
fear/resistance to/towards the character/personality of
the other human being/friend’s character/personality.
Where, from within and as this moment – Consciousness move
itself and the memory into and as the centre of the Mind/head/brain region,
where as Consciousness and as this Memory – what I will activate within my
Subconscious and Unconscious Mind is my ‘protection and defence’-character. The
character/personality that will emerge/manifest ‘in real time’ within physical
interaction/participation, that I created/constructed/manifested within me with
specific Thought-Patterns,
Internal Conversations and Reactions of emotions/feelings when and as my
Consciousness of and as me ‘alert’ me within and as the Memory in my
relationship to the human being, that there were inconsistencies/changes that
could prove a potential threat/change to my character/personality definition of
Mind/Consciousness which that friend/human being secured, protected/defended.
In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and
allowed myself to see, realise and understand the difference within the
automation of the consciousness-scan within and on the memories of the
glass-window pane and me with and as consciousness and a memory manifesting ‘real-time
assessments/analyses scans’ of and as the interaction/participation with other human
beings, where:
When and as the ‘friendship
relationship’ between my character and the friend’s character is aligned,
consciousness can automatically manifest the present-moment aligned-memory from
the ‘glass-window pane’ into the centre of the Mind/head/brain region within
which that memory with my character/personality definition to/towards the
friend will then activate in my
entire Mind-Physical relationship as that memory resonate within and
throughout my Mind-Physical existence, and will accordingly automatically
think, speak and behave in equal and one alignment to and as the
particular-specific character/personality I created/manifested/constructed
within me that my friend is securing/validating within our relationship.
However – when and as this alignment between the characters
is inconsistent/changed; from and of the memory within the ‘glass-window pane’,
where my character/personality will go into resonant reaction of
friction/conflict as fear/resistance, this moment activate within my Mind-Physical existence
a/the ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’, that I will come to physically embody/enact.
With this ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’ that will, together with
consciousness – in ‘real time’ as and while I am physically
participating/interacting with the human being/friend, will ‘scan’ as
scrutinize the inconsistencies/changes of the human being/friend that within
the centre of the Mind/head/brain region within the Memory was ‘highlighted’ as
the behaviour/presentation/speech of the human being/friend that was ‘different’/changed.
And where I’d through my Physical-Mind Eyes as this Memory, with Consciousness
and my ‘Suspicion-Character/Personality’ converse with myself within myself as
the backchat/internal conversations, thought-patterns and reactions while
simultaneously in that moment physically changing in behaviour/presentation
within and as this ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’, where my physical-body
will contract/stiffen/become tense, becoming reserved in my interaction/participation
with them, as in the back of my Mind I’m playing ‘spy games’ with binocular
Mind-Physical Eyes focussed on the changes/inconsistencies in
assessing/determining whether the inconsistencies/changes are a potential/real
threat/change to my definitions/character/personality that this friend/human
being had secured/validated/protected/defended.
I forgive
myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, in equality and oneness with and as Life,
energy and substance, the mind and the physical – from the beginning to now,
seen, realised and understood – how and why, in moments of
interaction/participation with friends/human beings, with me as consciousness
seeing/detecting inconsistencies/changes in their behaviour/presentation of
which I have no prior knowledge and information, where I’d immediately as
consciousness place them under suspicion within my Mind/myself. As within and during the interaction, when
and as my ‘Suspicion-Character/Personality’ activate the moment the Memory is
centred within the Mind, with the changes/inconsistencies highlighted and my
Physical-Mind Eyes binoculars focus on the changes/inconsistencies as
Consciousness scan the human being/friend in ‘real time’ as and while I am
interacting/participating with them:
I ‘step back’ within myself into my
Mind, where within and during this process – my physical-body contracts/becomes
tense, signified by the chest-area subtly going tighter, together with the
upper-arms, shoulders and neck-area, where within the corners and alignments of
my eyes and mouth I will be able to clearly physically-‘feel’ that my smile and
looking and physical-behaviour is not ‘genuine’. As what is really going on
within the Secret-Mind
in my conversation with myself, together with a myriad of thoughts/memories
emerging in the Conscious-Mind that bring with it reactions of
emotions/feelings as I am in ‘real time’ as consciousness – scanning through multi-dimensional
memories/past experiences to/towards which I experienced fear/resistance to see
if my friend/human beings’ inconsistencies/changes relate to anything/anyone
similar I had interacted with in the past in the memories of my
Unconscious-Mind. To through this memory database-scan – see if I can find,
when/where/towards who/what I have experienced/faced similar
changes/inconsistencies to from there determine/assess my continued
relationship with this human being/friend.
While within and during all of this – scanning with my
Physical-Mind Eyes as Consciousness, scrutinizing any detail/signs of their
behaviour/presentation/speech that can give clues to the how and why they are
inconsistent/changed; while at the same time – still conversing and behaving
to/towards them, but very reservedly as I go into complete protection/defence
mode; to not expose any ‘vulnerability’ for in case I require preparing myself to
end/sever the relationship to protect/defend my character/personality.
I commit myself to
show – the extent to which miscommunication manifest within and between human
beings/friends within and during such ‘Suspicion-Character/Personality’-activations.
Where we’d more trust
our Memories of previous-interactions/experiences that have shown
similar/same inconsistencies/changes and within our Minds will make up
reasons/why’s for the changes/inconsistencies in the other human being/friend’s
behaviour/presentation, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING THEM the detail of the noticed
changed in behaviour/presentation. And will say nothing verbally to them, but
will within our Minds ‘make up our Minds’ regarding the changes we
noticed/observed, and most often will not ask the other human being/friend
about the changes, but will simply ‘trust’ the experience/reaction of
resistance/fear and what Consciousness brought up in the Thoughts/Memories and
Internal-Conversations/Backchat
about/of the POSSIBLE reason of the why/how the human being/friend had
maybe/could have changed in some minor details in their behaviour/presentation.
And where we will thus, reservedly continue interacting
with/participating with the human being/friend from that moment forth – always
holding onto, additionally that memory of the change/inconsistencies together
with the thoughts, memories/internal conversations and reactions that we had
to/towards the friend/human beings’ changes/inconsistencies, never explaining
the reason for the change in behaviour/relationship of ourselves to/towards the
other human being as we from that moment forth always activate the ‘Suspicion
Character/Personality’ with them. Because what always ‘comes first’ within and
during such situations is our character/personality, and will thus rather trust
the fear/resistance experienced, together with the thoughts, memories,
reactions and internal conversations we brought-up and manifested regarding the
POSSIBLE why/how of the change/inconsistency; instead of simply ASKING. As, we
unconsciously know – that within the ASKING, we may be confronted with
information that could/may/possible lead to potential
change within US that could be considered and lead to an alteration/change
within our character/personality definition/living, and so would rather ‘make
up our minds’ within ourselves with knowledge and information WE KNOW and have
control over and of, than face the
possibility/potential of change.
I commit myself to show, the extent to which a few minor
inconsistencies/changes in another’s behaviour/presentation can possess one’s
mind for days/weeks/months – accumulating all sorts/kinds of possible ‘maybe’s’
regarding the why/how of the change, as we’d possess
ourselves in such a state to/towards another human being/friend to rather
protect/defend our character/personality with not having to ask/be confronted
with knowledge and information that could possibly lead to a potential
change/consideration of change within ourselves/our character/personality. And so
we’d be satisfied with the thoughts, memories and reactions consciousness as
ourselves bring to the fore within ourselves as reasons to the why/how of the
change/inconsistency – preoccupying our Minds extensively, every time we think
about/interact/participate with this particular human being/friend as the
extent to which we’d possess ourselves to only protect/defend a
character/personality as the extent of fear we in fact exist within, always in
all ways – looking out for possible/potential threats to our
definitions/characters/personalities.
In this, I commit myself to show the extent to which we
exist in fear of protecting/defending our characters/personalities that we’d go
to the extremes of, when/as our Minds ‘made up’ possible reasons to the why/how
of change – we’d go to OTHER FRIENDS and converse about the changes/inconsistencies
of this particular human being/friend and what one’s Mind decided / came up
with as possible reasons to the change/inconsistencies. Where the Minds in
Gossip can come up with the most ridiculous ‘out there’ reasons/why’s – when NOTHING
is in fact the reality of the changes/inconsistencies of the other human
being/friend, because ALL of it came from within THEIR MINDS, and in no way
directly asked the individual about the changes/inconsistencies and the why’s/how’s.
As friends group together in gossip to protect/defend their own and each other’s
characters/personalities from potential threat/change to their agreed
relationship of protecting/defending each other’s characters/personalities, to
when/as a friend/human being indicate changes/inconsistencies – to first determine
alone/together in each other’s Minds and with each other’s Minds whether the
relationship with that one human being will stand or remain. All of this done:
because of FEAR, as indicating the extent to which we trust
our MINDS, instead of REALITY of ASKING another human being/actually
communicating with them.
We’ll in the next post continue with Friendship-Suspicion
Character Part Two in walking the details of what thoughts, internal
conversations/backchat arise/manifest within us within and during the
Suspicion-Character possession, how Consciousness bring up a myriad of thoughts
and memories we try and analyse/assess the why/how of the change/inconsistency
IN OUR MINDS, instead of simply ASKING as the extent of fear we exist in, in
protecting and defending our character/personality that we would not even consider ASKING, directly as this in
itself may prove a potential threat/change to our characters/personality.
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