Friendship Suspicion Character – Part One: DAY 91

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 Friendship Suspicion Character – Part One: DAY 91

(To read this post, it must be understood that we’re walking this process/Blog - Heaven's Journey to Life multi-dimensionally, which means – each post covers one dimension, but is interconnected into/as multi-dimensions in our process of walking the point/question of “who I am” and how this “I” created/manifested this entire physical existence. Thus, suggested – to read this Blog from DAY 1, as many of the points in previous dimensions/DAYS/posts are always brought-through into the next days/dimensions/posts as all the dimensions interconnect as the mutli-dimensionality we’ve created/manifested as our separation as Energy/Consciousness from/of Life/equality and Oneness. Thus, if one is faced with this post, and have not yet read this Blog from DAY 1 - suggest that self first start from DAY 1, as otherwise one will have no context of many dimensions that is walked in this post, that has been dealt with in detail in previous posts.)

Who I Am as Money – continued

As mentioned in the previous post, we’re in and from this post continuing walking the process of what manifest when another’s character/personality is changed/inconsistent to who/how they exist-as in our memories in alignment to our character/personality we secured/protected/defended in our relationship with them; what processes manifest in our Conscious/Subconscious Mind as internal conversations/backchats, to in/as fear – assess/determine whether they are/will be a threat/change to our self-definitions. And how we will accordingly change in our behaviour as our protection/defence mechanisms as resistance we go into for a moment while we determine/assess in our Minds/through asking questions whether the reality of the threat/change is ‘real’ as re-assessing whether we’ll stay in relationship with them or slowly, but surely start the process of severing the ties ‘cordially’ or through manifesting deliberate external friction/conflict within the relationship to justify/excuse why/how the relationship cannot work, when in fact: it was always in all ways only to protect/defend our own personality/character as definitions of Mind/Consciousness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, in equality and oneness with and as Life, energy and substance, the Mind and the Physical, from the beginning to now – seen, realised and understood the processes involved within me as the Mind and the characters/definitions I have manifested/created as representatives/versions of and as ‘who I am’ as the Mind/Consciousness, when and as I interact/participate with another human-being as ‘friend’ that within and during a physical-reality participation/interaction exposed some inconsistencies/changes within their external/physical behaviour/demeanour. Where I through and as my Mind-Physical Eyes, took the present-moment interaction/participation with the human being/friend into and as a Memory within and on the ‘glass window pane’ within the Unconscious/Physical-Mind, where my Consciousness scanned/‘security checked’ the alignments within and between my character/personality and the friend’s character/personality, as that Memory of the present-moment contain all the detail of our physical-reality interaction/participation as characters/personalities as a ‘live moment replica’ of what happened in real-time in the physical. And, the moment my Consciousness detect inconsistencies/changes within the memory of the present-moment within and on the ‘glass-window pane; within the memory itself - my character/personality goes into resonant friction/conflict and the entire memory of the present-moment move into and as a negative-experience charge of fear/resistance, as my character/personality in the memory go into fear/resistance to/towards the character/personality of the other human being/friend’s character/personality.
Where, from within and as this moment – Consciousness move itself and the memory into and as the centre of the Mind/head/brain region, where as Consciousness and as this Memory – what I will activate within my Subconscious and Unconscious Mind is my ‘protection and defence’-character. The character/personality that will emerge/manifest ‘in real time’ within physical interaction/participation, that I created/constructed/manifested within me with specific Thought-Patterns, Internal Conversations and Reactions of emotions/feelings when and as my Consciousness of and as me ‘alert’ me within and as the Memory in my relationship to the human being, that there were inconsistencies/changes that could prove a potential threat/change to my character/personality definition of Mind/Consciousness which that friend/human being secured, protected/defended.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the difference within the automation of the consciousness-scan within and on the memories of the glass-window pane and me with and as consciousness and a memory manifesting ‘real-time assessments/analyses scans’ of and as the interaction/participation with other human beings, where:
When and as the ‘friendship relationship’ between my character and the friend’s character is aligned, consciousness can automatically manifest the present-moment aligned-memory from the ‘glass-window pane’ into the centre of the Mind/head/brain region within which that memory with my character/personality definition to/towards the friend will then activate in my entire Mind-Physical relationship as that memory resonate within and throughout my Mind-Physical existence, and will accordingly automatically think, speak and behave in equal and one alignment to and as the particular-specific character/personality I created/manifested/constructed within me that my friend is securing/validating within our relationship.
However – when and as this alignment between the characters is inconsistent/changed; from and of the memory within the ‘glass-window pane’, where my character/personality will go into resonant reaction of friction/conflict as fear/resistance, this moment activate within my Mind-Physical existence a/the ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’, that I will come to physically embody/enact. With this ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’ that will, together with consciousness – in ‘real time’ as and while I am physically participating/interacting with the human being/friend, will ‘scan’ as scrutinize the inconsistencies/changes of the human being/friend that within the centre of the Mind/head/brain region within the Memory was ‘highlighted’ as the behaviour/presentation/speech of the human being/friend that was ‘different’/changed. And where I’d through my Physical-Mind Eyes as this Memory, with Consciousness and my ‘Suspicion-Character/Personality’ converse with myself within myself as the backchat/internal conversations, thought-patterns and reactions while simultaneously in that moment physically changing in behaviour/presentation within and as this ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’, where my physical-body will contract/stiffen/become tense, becoming reserved in my interaction/participation with them, as in the back of my Mind I’m playing ‘spy games’ with binocular Mind-Physical Eyes focussed on the changes/inconsistencies in assessing/determining whether the inconsistencies/changes are a potential/real threat/change to my definitions/character/personality that this friend/human being had secured/validated/protected/defended.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, in equality and oneness with and as Life, energy and substance, the mind and the physical – from the beginning to now, seen, realised and understood – how and why, in moments of interaction/participation with friends/human beings, with me as consciousness seeing/detecting inconsistencies/changes in their behaviour/presentation of which I have no prior knowledge and information, where I’d immediately as consciousness place them under suspicion within my Mind/myself.  As within and during the interaction, when and as my ‘Suspicion-Character/Personality’ activate the moment the Memory is centred within the Mind, with the changes/inconsistencies highlighted and my Physical-Mind Eyes binoculars focus on the changes/inconsistencies as Consciousness scan the human being/friend in ‘real time’ as and while I am interacting/participating with them:
I ‘step back’ within myself into my Mind, where within and during this process – my physical-body contracts/becomes tense, signified by the chest-area subtly going tighter, together with the upper-arms, shoulders and neck-area, where within the corners and alignments of my eyes and mouth I will be able to clearly physically-‘feel’ that my smile and looking and physical-behaviour is not ‘genuine’. As what is really going on within the Secret-Mind in my conversation with myself, together with a myriad of thoughts/memories emerging in the Conscious-Mind that bring with it reactions of emotions/feelings as I am in ‘real time’ as consciousness – scanning through multi-dimensional memories/past experiences to/towards which I experienced fear/resistance to see if my friend/human beings’ inconsistencies/changes relate to anything/anyone similar I had interacted with in the past in the memories of my Unconscious-Mind. To through this memory database-scan – see if I can find, when/where/towards who/what I have experienced/faced similar changes/inconsistencies to from there determine/assess my continued relationship with this human being/friend.
While within and during all of this – scanning with my Physical-Mind Eyes as Consciousness, scrutinizing any detail/signs of their behaviour/presentation/speech that can give clues to the how and why they are inconsistent/changed; while at the same time – still conversing and behaving to/towards them, but very reservedly as I go into complete protection/defence mode; to not expose any ‘vulnerability’ for in case I require preparing myself to end/sever the relationship to protect/defend my character/personality.

I commit myself to show – the extent to which miscommunication manifest within and between human beings/friends within and during such ‘Suspicion-Character/Personality’-activations. Where we’d more trust our Memories of previous-interactions/experiences that have shown similar/same inconsistencies/changes and within our Minds will make up reasons/why’s for the changes/inconsistencies in the other human being/friend’s behaviour/presentation, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING THEM the detail of the noticed changed in behaviour/presentation. And will say nothing verbally to them, but will within our Minds ‘make up our Minds’ regarding the changes we noticed/observed, and most often will not ask the other human being/friend about the changes, but will simply ‘trust’ the experience/reaction of resistance/fear and what Consciousness brought up in the Thoughts/Memories and Internal-Conversations/Backchat about/of the POSSIBLE reason of the why/how the human being/friend had maybe/could have changed in some minor details in their behaviour/presentation.
And where we will thus, reservedly continue interacting with/participating with the human being/friend from that moment forth – always holding onto, additionally that memory of the change/inconsistencies together with the thoughts, memories/internal conversations and reactions that we had to/towards the friend/human beings’ changes/inconsistencies, never explaining the reason for the change in behaviour/relationship of ourselves to/towards the other human being as we from that moment forth always activate the ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’ with them. Because what always ‘comes first’ within and during such situations is our character/personality, and will thus rather trust the fear/resistance experienced, together with the thoughts, memories, reactions and internal conversations we brought-up and manifested regarding the POSSIBLE why/how of the change/inconsistency; instead of simply ASKING. As, we unconsciously know – that within the ASKING, we may be confronted with information that could/may/possible lead to potential change within US that could be considered and lead to an alteration/change within our character/personality definition/living, and so would rather ‘make up our minds’ within ourselves with knowledge and information WE KNOW and have control over and of, than face the possibility/potential of change.

I commit myself to show, the extent to which a few minor inconsistencies/changes in another’s behaviour/presentation can possess one’s mind for days/weeks/months – accumulating all sorts/kinds of possible ‘maybe’s’ regarding the why/how of the change, as we’d possess ourselves in such a state to/towards another human being/friend to rather protect/defend our character/personality with not having to ask/be confronted with knowledge and information that could possibly lead to a potential change/consideration of change within ourselves/our character/personality. And so we’d be satisfied with the thoughts, memories and reactions consciousness as ourselves bring to the fore within ourselves as reasons to the why/how of the change/inconsistency – preoccupying our Minds extensively, every time we think about/interact/participate with this particular human being/friend as the extent to which we’d possess ourselves to only protect/defend a character/personality as the extent of fear we in fact exist within, always in all ways – looking out for possible/potential threats to our definitions/characters/personalities.
In this, I commit myself to show the extent to which we exist in fear of protecting/defending our characters/personalities that we’d go to the extremes of, when/as our Minds ‘made up’ possible reasons to the why/how of change – we’d go to OTHER FRIENDS and converse about the changes/inconsistencies of this particular human being/friend and what one’s Mind decided / came up with as possible reasons to the change/inconsistencies. Where the Minds in Gossip can come up with the most ridiculous ‘out there’ reasons/why’s – when NOTHING is in fact the reality of the changes/inconsistencies of the other human being/friend, because ALL of it came from within THEIR MINDS, and in no way directly asked the individual about the changes/inconsistencies and the why’s/how’s. As friends group together in gossip to protect/defend their own and each other’s characters/personalities from potential threat/change to their agreed relationship of protecting/defending each other’s characters/personalities, to when/as a friend/human being indicate changes/inconsistencies – to first determine alone/together in each other’s Minds and with each other’s Minds whether the relationship with that one human being will stand or remain. All of this done: because of FEAR, as indicating the extent to which we trust our MINDS, instead of REALITY of ASKING another human being/actually communicating with them.

We’ll in the next post continue with Friendship-Suspicion Character Part Two in walking the details of what thoughts, internal conversations/backchat arise/manifest within us within and during the Suspicion-Character possession, how Consciousness bring up a myriad of thoughts and memories we try and analyse/assess the why/how of the change/inconsistency IN OUR MINDS, instead of simply ASKING as the extent of fear we exist in, in protecting and defending our character/personality that we would  not even consider ASKING, directly as this in itself may prove a potential threat/change to our characters/personality. 

Featured Art Work by Matti Freeman

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