Relationships: a Quick-Fix for Inner Chaos - DAY 489
The Moment of Shock
Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Eleven)
In the next post, I
will continue with explaining the detail of how we’ve used suppression in the
Mind and Body – why it is that everything we’ve suppressed in the Mind
within/during a relationship comes rushing back the moment you realise the
dependency is not in your world/reality anymore that you used to hold your suppressions
in the Mind; and finally – how this influence our Minds and Physical Bodies. To
within this, see / realise and understand the Potential we’re taking for
granted in relation to the Mind and Body and our relationship with others, if
we’d stop living in fear / hiding from our own Minds and start give ourselves
the opportunity to start
living and so creating ourselves and our relationship with others.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to use relationships as a ‘quick fix’ –
where it’s been easier to feel something positive for someone, whether in my
imaginations / fantasies and/or in reality, than it has been actually doing
introspection into my own Mind and walking a process with myself and my
relationship to the things in my Mind that I try and keep hidden from myself
and so from others.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to self honestly introspect this relationship between positive fantasies /
imaginations of relationships and/or the initial physical experience of a
relationship – having a look at how in a quantum moment I can construct an ‘idyllic
fantasy / imagination’
in my Mind and/or bring up thoughts and feelings when it comes to my physical
relationship with someone; yet – when it comes to the real things, the problems
/ issues / troubles inside myself / the Mind: I just as quickly suppress them /
move them aside – refusing to really look into them and so look at myself.
Where, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see,
realise and understand that I have been approaching both the negative and
positive polarities inside of myself with ‘quick fixes’ – “QUICKLY” fantasizing
/ imagining a relationship, “QUICKLY” getting a relationship / sex and then “QUICKLY”
suppressing / ignoring my emotions / problems / issues within myself.
In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and
allowed myself to take a moment for myself and in fact see, realise and
understand how I have never given myself the space and time to really sort
through myself, get to know myself and so understand myself – and in so doing,
I have never given myself the space and the time to really ask myself what I
want out of a relationship practically, how it would be creating a
relationship, living together, establishing short-term and long-term goals and
of course merging my vision with that of my partner – both equally, actively
participating in individual as well as collective growth as we use the
relationship as a platform from which we support ourselves and each other to
learn, develop and expand in who we are and how/what we live.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
take such a quick-fix approach to the relationship with myself, my Mind and so
others in my life – never putting in the time, patience and understanding;
especially the EFFORT to actually walk with myself, my
life and others; not seeing, realising and understanding how this has led to a
form of conflict and chaos existing inside myself and my relationships, where
most of the time I do not understand why / how I think things, say things and
do things towards myself and others that I can see sabotage / compromise me and
others. In this, I then try / attempt to find ways / methods to ‘deal with /
handle and/or just get through’ the conflict and chaos that is existent in my
mind, relationships and life in general.
Where, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed
myself to see, realise and understand that most of the conflict / chaos inside
myself – is existent because I do not in fact know myself and understand myself
in relation to how the Mind
/ Consciousness operates / functions; because all I do is suppress
everything / cover it up in some way or another, not seeing / realising and
understanding how all these / such suppressions eventually manifest into the
unconscious mind and becomes a backdrop of information / data that seeps
through into my conscious-reality and accordingly affects my thoughts, words
and deeds that will infiltrate my world and my relationship with others.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see, realise and understand – with investigating and introspecting my relationship
to fantasies/imaginations of relationships / ‘real-life relationships’ that: I
was all this time expecting the relationship to alleviate the chaos / conflict
existent within me / my mind; when time and time again it was proven that
relationships cannot be for me – what I am supposed to be for myself. In this,
I commit myself to assist and support myself, to give myself the space and time
to sort through myself, get to know and so understand the chaos / conflict so
that I can assist and support myself to approach relationships as a platform
for personal growth and expansion, finding out what it means to really create a life with
another, rather than a ‘quick fix platform’ with the starting point of hope
that another can save me from myself.
I will in the next post continue more with how suppression
influence our Minds and Bodies and so affects our words and behaviour and what
we create and so experience in our relationship with others.
