Relationships are the Cure for Loneliness: DAY 487
The Moment of Shock
Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Nine)
In the next post and
posts to come – we will continue with the Self Forgiveness Process, focusing on
that initial real purpose for/of relationship, what Negative things were
covered up / suppressed by the Positive things experienced / that was dependent
on the relationship and how this creates MENTAL-RELATIONSHIPS, and what would
REAL PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIPS be if/6as our starting point for relationships was
not based on emotional/feeling energy, but two individuals walking / living as
EQUALS.
This is the cycle we
get caught up in, ‘looking for love’ – love encompassing all the positive
feelings filled into one bowl within our Minds, where all the positive feelings
we’re looking for / searching for from another / in a relationship / sex unites
in our Minds / Bodies for a moment to be able to drive / motivate ourselves to
just not have to look at ourselves, our problems / issues…our own Minds and what
really goes on in there. So, ‘love’ – the search for it / yearning for it and how it preoccupies /
possesses our minds, in fact functions as a distraction…a distraction from ourselves,
our own minds / who we are.
In and from this blog – we’re going to start the Self Forgiveness Process of
exposing thoughts and emotions that often fuel the desire / yearning for
relationships, such thoughts and emotions that we tend to not take
self-responsibility for and so make ourselves believe that hiding and
suppressing them within relationships will ‘make them go away / disappear’;
when in fact – they always in some way or another come back / linger in the
back of our minds…
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear loneliness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear being alone
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my
fear of loneliness, being in that deep dark abyss of nothingness where it feels
like I’m so disconnected from everything and everyone around me – as though I
have been forgotten by the world, pushing me into the experience of being SO
isolated – that I so YEARN for a connection, for a touch, for a kiss, being
held – just that someone to ‘be here’ with me in this aloneness – where, I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this /
such loneliness that only I know of within myself, that is so intimate and so
deep within myself – will be ‘cured’ or even understood by another human being…
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see, realise and understand how it is that I am creating this aloneness as
an emotional experience of loneliness within myself, my own Mind - based on the
thoughts and emotions I participate in – such as “I am so alone / lonely” / “I
need someone” / “I need to feel loved” / “no one loves me” / “why can’t I have
someone that loves me”, essentially manipulating myself with my own thoughts
and emotions.
In so doing, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed
myself to see, realise and understand how I am creating my own problem as the
emotional experience of loneliness as the negative polarity and from there – my
own ‘solution’ as the positive polarity – that being a ‘relationship’. But, it’s
interesting that I never consider how and why it is that I am, with my own
Mind, my own thoughts and emotions – creating this problem-solution polarity in
my Mind with negative and positive emotions and feelings.
In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and
allowed myself to ever introspect / investigate what it is I am creating – and so
accepting and allowing in my own Mind with my thoughts
and emotions when it comes to the negative polarity of the emotional experience
of loneliness, feeling isolated / disconnected and so alone and considering how
this would change – if I let go, forgive such thoughts and emotions – where my starting
point for a relationship is then not based on my fear of being alone / lonely; using
a relationship
to suppress / hide this fear – but that I can approach a relationship with a
decision to create something more with someone, rather than using
someone / a relationship for me to hide from my own fears, my own thoughts
and so my own emotions for which I am not taking responsibility for.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to ever question – how it is possible for relationships to be/become ‘more’ if/as
the starting point thereof is ‘fear of loneliness’, because as long as the
starting point for the relationship is ‘fear of loneliness’ / ‘being alone’ –
then everything about the relationship would be dishonest, because all the
words, experiences and behaviours will be driven by this fear in some way or
another and so what this places into question is “what can I trust about myself
/ the relationship if everything that I am in the relationship is driven /
motivated by this fear?”
If anything, what relationships and the condition thereof within humanity has
proven is that each one always in some way or another – ends up in the place
within themselves that they fear: alone together with the emotional companion
of loneliness.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to be self honest with myself when it comes to what it is that I am yearning
for / searching for in a relationship with another – for example, looking at
this fear of experiencing and facing this loneliness – even though I may find
this ‘someone’, ‘the
one’: they never seem to really
fulfil this deep, seemingly never-ending yearning for a connection and so I
would eventually compromise and ‘settle
for less’ where I would justify / excuse / validate how they ‘show their
love’ as being ENOUGH – but still, this yearning, this want / need / desire for
something MORE will remain within me and/or eventually be suppressed
In the next post we’ll open up more dimensions of the
consequence that fear of loneliness / being alone manifest within relationships
– how such a fear can compromise self and one’s relationship with another. Then
finally – what is the solution to such a fear and how would self change and so
one’s relationship with another with taking responsibility for such thoughts
and emotions.
