The Fear of Failure and Desire for Success: DAY 322

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The Fear of Failure and Desire for Success: DAY 322

 Featured Artwork by Kelly Posey

Problem: Accepting and Allowing Failure to Motivate Success in relationships of Fear and Desire
In and from this Post, we’re going to have a look at our acceptance and allowance of using Energy-Polarities in Consciousness, such as Fear and Desire in a relationship to Failure and Success, such as for example changing self from Laziness to Discipline: and how we would within this, never actually really get to a Point of Self-Change – because we’re always, in fact, Cycling within Energy/Energy experiences in the polarity between Failure and Success and how this, consequentially, can in fact actually Lead to manifesting Self as Failure and/or compromising self mentally and physically – with accepting and allowing the Fear of Failure to fuel the Desire of Success.

Here we’re going to walk through opening up all the Dimensions of the Problem and within the Problem – also see the Solution, as we walk a Process of Writing of Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, that – to transcend my Process from Laziness to Discipline, from a ‘failure’ to a ‘success’: to have to be done through a Process of ‘Fighting Myself’, where I would create a ‘Fear of Laziness’ and a ‘Desire for Discipline’ and in this Polarizing of Failure vs. Success and Fear vs. Desire: I in fact split my Consciousness/Awareness into two separate worlds/experiences/me’s within myself. And in this Process: actually Create my own Internal Conflict/War against two parts of me.
In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how: with creating a FEAR towards ‘Failure/Laziness’ and a DESIRE towards Discipline: I am separating myself into and as three tiers of Hierarchy within both Polarities where my relationship-equations exist as follows: Awareness-Fear-Laziness vs. Awareness-Desire-Discipline. This means that: I, in my Awareness, accept and allow the Energy-Experience of Fear towards Laziness, and the Energy-Experience of Desire towards Discipline to ‘Motivate’ myself into and as Change through utilizing the Polarity of Fear vs. Desire and then through that, attempt/try to make Discipline the ‘outcome’ of me Motivating myself into Change from the Fear of Laziness. Not seeing, realising and understanding how, within this Process – Energy-relationships work, that will ALWAYS attempt/try to Balance itself out, and how I would never release myself from Laziness and/or in fact become Disciplined as all I will do is always ‘Fight Myself’ in/between the Polarities of the Energies of Fear and Desire.

I commit myself to show, how: what we do within ourselves with creating emotional and feeling REACTIONS to parts of ourselves, is in fact Never, Really Change, but Only Cycle, repetitively, in and as Emotional and Feeling Experiences to/towards parts of ourselves we have Separated ourselves from. With having a look at this instance of Laziness and Discipline, for example:
We find ourselves in our relationship to Responsibilities within our world, as being Lazy. We then create/generate a Fear/Judgment towards that Laziness, in our Minds, which is in fact creating a fear/judgment towards OURSELVES as the Character we’ve become in our minds and living as ‘Lazy’, and then through the Fear/Judgment in our Minds to the Character of ‘Laziness’, we create a Desire/Expectation of ourselves as a Character being ‘Disciplined’. Now, what becomes the ‘motivating Force’ for ourselves to ‘Change Characters’ is the Fear/Judgment of the Lazy-Character in our Minds and the Desire/Expectation of the Discipline Character in our Minds. Now, we keep the Lazy-Character in our Minds, in the back of our Minds, and our Fear-relationship towards it, to motivate/push ourselves, through ENERGY, into and as the Discipline-Character. So, whenever we see the Lazy-Character rear its head, Fear/Judgment arise and from the Fear/Judgment of being possessed/controlled by the Lazy-Character, we initiate the Desire/Expectation for the Discipline Character and so FORCE ourselves, with Energy, to be/become Disciplined as activating/initiating the Discipline Character.

And so, within this: I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the type/kind of existence I am accepting and allowing within myself, through existing as Characters in the Mind that is motivated/activated/changed through Energy/Energy-Experience with Not Understanding the nature/dynamics of Energy in and as Consciousness, where: ALL that is in fact Benefiting in this polarizing of self into energies as sources for Characters in the Mind: is Consciousness. Because, now – I have the two Polarities of Fear as the Lazy-Character, and Desire as the Discipline Character, where I am STILL ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING Failure as Laziness to exist within me, as a Character in the Mind and Using That Character as the STARTING POINT of who I am to motivate/activate me into and as Desire/Expectation of becoming the Discipline-Character. Not seeing, realising and understanding within this, that: the more and more and more I fear/judge the Lazy-Character as the part of me I feared/judged as being a ‘Failure’, to more and more and more motivate the Discipline-Character as the part of me I desire/expect to become as a ‘Success’: I am in fact, actually, over and over and over again, integrating the Lazy/Failure-Character more and more and more into my Being/Physical Body and so will in fact, through time, make it more and more and more difficult to maintain the Discipline-Character existent within desire/expectation – because I need ENERGY to keep the Discipline-Character going, in and as my Energy-War between Fear/Judgment and Desire/Expectation.

In this, I commit myself to show – how, one can: with accepting and allowing such Self-Polarization in and as the Self-Definition of ourselves in our experiences as Energy, as for example Fear and Desire to/towards Characters in the Mind: that we can take our Minds/Selves/Bodies into and as an Absolute Possession, where we would physically compromise our Bodies and Minds to attempt/try to ‘win this Fight’ / ‘inner conflict’ within ourselves to change from Laziness to Discipline – where we would drive/force/enforce all sorts of Compromise to ourselves/our Bodies as we attempt/try to push ourselves into remaining ‘Disciplined’ as a Desire/Expectation with the Fear/Judgment of Failure never lurking too far behind and can actually so – drive/force/enforce ourselves mentally and physically into and as ‘burnout’, because we’re waging wars of ENERGY within ourselves and can use so much Energy as we cycle from Fear to Desire, running from Laziness towards Desire –that this is all that we do in our Minds, we run from and run to: but we Never BECOME Change as a Living Condition as WHO WE ARE in and as Every Moment of Breath, that exist of NO ENERGY, but as a LIVING EXPRESSION/PRESENCE.

We’ll continue with the Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements in the next post, together with the Self-Reward.

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