Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself - DAY 491
The Moment of Shock
Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Thirteen)
In the next post, I
will continue with how this polarity-separation of hope and fear contribute to
a split that manifests within and as self, a split from self, the body and so
reality – into an alternate reality in the mind, that contribute to the extent
of impact shock, trauma and stress manifest within self and so the physical
body; and how to assist and support oneself to practically prepare oneself and
so face the reality of the fact that death is unpredictable and so minimize the
effect of shock, trauma and stress the moment something unpredictable happens
in your relationship with yourself /
another.
Losing someone, especially an individual that you have spent
a lifetime / years walking with – is not easy. This process we’re walking in
relation to shock, trauma and stress is in no way implying that you shouldn’t
feel / experience ANYTHING when someone passes or you’re separated from them –
especially due to traumatic circumstances. No.
However, what you can assist and support yourself with is to
minimize the effects of shock – the experience of loss and mourning, on your ‘mind, body and being’.
‘Mind, body and being’ meaning: those who have walked through death experiences
– personally or through losing someone through death, knows that the shock of
that loss seems to penetrate your mind and body and reach into depths within
self, where – when you think of them / look at memories of them, it feels like
you’re being pulled into the deep dark hole within yourself, an emptiness that
awaits with only the experience of sadness,
sorrow, grief, loss and pain. It’s like, usually – the person you lost always
used to fill a space within yourself, more so than you initially realised;
until you lost them and that ‘space’ within yourself that you gave to them to
make a ‘home’ within you, become a part of you in a way – that space is now
empty and what had taken its place was the emptiness, the emotions of sadness,
sorrow, grief, loss and pain.
Why and
how does this happen? On what level / in what dimensions within your Mind,
Being and Body does another person become a part of you – where it’s literally
like you make a ‘space’ for them within yourself on many levels and allow them
to become such an integral part of you on so many levels/dimensions, that when
you’re separated from them / they die: all that’s left is an emptiness and
emotion?
We actually form relationships with others that extend beyond
the Mind and emotion, where connections can manifest on a beingness as well as
physical level. Such a beingness-physical level connection is not a connection that
is necessarily established through sex, but can also be
established through a long-term relationship of pure communication and
intimacy, where you for years can walk with a person and that intimacy / depth,
purely through communication and participation, can become established. (This process of how and why we develop
relationships and so intimate / deep connections with others within our lives
with the connection extending beyond the mind and emotions into our
beingness/physical body – is described and walked in detail within the Death
Research Series that will be available on EQAFE
soon, so keep an eye out) It is important to understand the nature of such
relationships, because it is in fact such relationships – that form a
connection on a beingness-level, that contributes to the shock, trauma and
stress and the impact thereof on the mind, being and body of yourself when you
face the death of such an individual with who you have established such a
relationship. This is why, when that ‘disconnect’ happens from the other person
– it affects you on so many levels within yourself, mentally, physically and
also into a depth of your being; the loss is affecting you on so many levels /
into so many depths because of the extent / reach of the relationship and
your connection with the person that had in fact been more close than you may
have initially realised / known.
Yet, what makes the shock, trauma and stress
experience – that moment of loss, more compromising on you than it needs to
be; is when you do not understand the WHY of the experiences of loss and the
extent thereof that you’re going through. Mainly because the degree of depth /
intimacy of the relationship was not understood in the first place and then
also how to assist and support oneself to ‘fill the space’ within oneself that
was once filled by the other person. This in itself is not something that is
understood: when someone close to you dies – especially when you have connected
with that person on more levels than just the Mind / Emotion, when that someone
dies – we immediately go into the assumption that ‘a part of ourselves’ has
been lost, which contributes to the experience of being ‘empty’. But, the
reality of the situation is that: you cannot EVER ‘lose’ yourself. Our Mind,
Being and Body is a ‘closed system’ – meaning: all parts of ourselves will
ALWAYS be here – it can only ever be SUPPRESSED…but never be lost.
Therefore, when you make ‘space’ for another within
yourself, when you allow them to become a part of you based on the intimacy /
connection and so depth of the relationship – it’s more like you ADD them to
your life, it’s not like you ‘subtract
a part of you and then add another into you’ – no! You additionally ADD a
part of them with and within you. Then, when they die / you’re separated from
them – that of them that you added within you, is then ‘lost’ for a moment,
which is why you have the experience of ‘loss’ and ‘emptiness’ for a moment.
But we tend to often hold onto the emptiness and loss, instead of seeing how we
can ‘refill’ that space with OURSELVES and what we have learned from them and
the time spent together with them. So, others for a moment add to ourselves /
our lives so that we ourselves can eventually stand in that responsibility for
ourselves.
In the next post I will continue with explaining how this ‘adding
– subtracting’ equation manifest in our relationship with others, how exactly
others become a part of us and how to within that not misinterpret ‘loss’
within yourself and your life as ‘losing something forever and ever’ – but how
to move yourself and align
yourself within you and your life to ensure that the person that you became
separated from, still remains a part of you based on the lessons/experiences
you have learned from them and how they practically fulfilled you based on what
they left behind of them within you / your life that you can use to continue
growing, expanding and living yourself / life to the fullest.
