Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself (Part 2) - DAY 492


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Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself (Part 2) - DAY 492
The Moment of Shock
 


Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Fourteen)

In the next post I will continue with explaining how this ‘adding – subtracting’ equation manifest in our relationship with others, how exactly others become a part of us and how to within that not misinterpret ‘loss’ within yourself and your life as ‘losing something forever and ever’ – but how to move yourself and align yourself within you and your life to ensure that the person that you became separated from, still remains a part of you based on the lessons/experiences you have learned from them and how they practically fulfilled you based on what they left behind of them within you / your life that you can use to continue growing, expanding and living yourself / life to the fullest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive death as ‘loss’ – within the starting point of believing that another had for a time within my life become a part / a piece of me and now with the person no longer being in my life, that part / piece of me they became is now ‘gone’, lost to death forever.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the equation within and as which I was approaching death was that of a part of me stepping out / stepping away, ‘subtracting me’ to be able to ‘add another’ – essentially taking out a ‘puzzle piece / part of me’ belonging to myself, and then replacing it with another to fulfil that part / piece of me. In so doing, when/as the other leaves my world / my life – with them the piece / part they fulfilled leaves and so contributing to the experience of loss / emptiness; especially when that part / piece of another is so suddenly and unexpectedly ripped from my beingness / my life experience.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how – when another ‘becomes a part of me’, it happens gradually as the relationship progress in space and time into a depth and intimacy that penetrate so many dimensions of my mind, beingness and body; where this process of me ‘subtracting myself’ and ‘adding another’ – having another replace a piece / part of me within myself, creating a form of dependency on so many levels: happens unconsciously / automatically without my direct awareness. Which is also what contributes to the shock, trauma and stress the moment the other is taken by death – because I was not always aware of the depth the relationship had developed / reached within myself, the extent of dependency I had created in my relationship to the other, the exact way in which I replaced a part / piece of me with the other to fulfil / complete a part / piece of me – that I in fact only come to realise at the moment of facing the death of the other.
So, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand another dimension that Death opens up when standing back for a moment, it opens up the dimension of being able to directly see for yourself – the depth of the relationship, the extent of dependency and what part of self the person fulfilled to so be able to transform the shock, trauma and stress of death into gratefulness for the depth / intimacy and transform the dependency into a gift with gifting to self that part / piece the other fulfilled within yourself so that it may live on in you for the remainder of your life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how I can assist and support myself in relation to the death of another – to change my perception from ‘losing’ / ‘loss’ to ‘gifting / giving’ – where, I self honestly will miss the person in my life for all that they were; but what I know as what I would have wanted for other’s whose lives I touch is to assist and support themselves with continuing living / expressing the gifts / experiences realised through our relationship together – to not compromise their mind, being and body with emotions, the shock, trauma and stress; but fulfil and complete themselves with the gratefulness and gifts that relationships in fact present to each one of us within this lifetime.
In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to with walking relationships – especially when they start becoming long-term and establish a level of intimacy and depth, already start dreading the looming inevitability of death / separation, instead of always living in the ‘here and now’ – see what we can learn / GIFT to one another and make the relationship fulfilling and complete for both, so that the relationship-itself becomes a gifting to each other’s life/living experience – so that by the inevitable end, we can for a moment step back, in gratefulness, assess what of the relationship can be carried through into living, change the dependencies into gifts and so let the relationship live on through you. With the missing of the person being a given – as they were someone that was a part of you / your life for a long time, but the missing will then not be an emotional compromise to your mind, body and being – but in moments merely reminisce and remember in GRATEFULNESS for what the being meant for you, for what the being gifted to you and what you learned from them within your life experience.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to thus see, realise and understand how my relationship to the life and death experience of another change, with seeing, realising and understanding that with approaching a relationship in relation to what they can additionally ADD to me, my life with the time we spent together, with after the death experience seeing what I can learn and so additionally ADD to myself and my life – is how I will change the relationship-equation to death from perceiving it as loss / losing, to transforming another’s life into enriching myself and my own; instead of how it’s been where another’s death compromise my mind, being and body when and as I accept and allow myself to only see / view the death as a loss / losing.

I will continue in the next post with some examples of the difference between perceiving death as loss / losing and how to practically change this relationship for yourself with how to look at the life and death experience as a gift, where another person ADDS to you / your life instead of you also losing yourself through the death of another.

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