Fear of Commitment: DAY 439
Solution
Continuing with the question we left off with in the
previous post: “Why are we making such a simple Decision from Want to WILL to
actual self/world change so difficult for ourselves?” – we’re going to have a
look at, essentially, why/how it is that we make Change/Self Change and/or
life/living changes so difficult for ourselves. When, all it takes to change,
to will oneself, as move oneself into physical change/application – is a
Decision and to stand by that Decision/with that Decision until it becomes a ‘natural
living expression / way of life’ for self.
A point opened up within the Relationship
Series walked in EQAFE regarding ‘Commitment’
– a Decision and the living of/as such a Decision to change, to change oneself
and one’s life/living: is a Commitment. It’s a commitment you make to yourself
and for yourself. But, WHY – despite seeing how a self change/life change will benefit one
internally and externally…do we still sabotage / compromise ourselves, where
the More we “TRY” and change/commit/make a decision – the more we sabotage /
compromise it?
Many walking the Desteni
Process are confronted with this point daily when it comes to writing / walking DIP / making decisions - where the
benefit of the processes can be seen/felt/lived, but YET – when it comes to commitment,
to following through: we fall. The closer and closer we get to or even get to
the moment of seeing/sensing how a Change/Commitment/Decision will fulfil us,
we find some way or another to destroy it, to fall back into the Mind/old
destructive habits/patterns that we KNOW will lead us down a certain
path/consequence…yet, we still do it.
What is scary is that we can spend months, years…if not a
lifetime, facing one point of self/life change – and spend those months/years
and even a lifetime justifying/excusing/sabotaging and compromising ourselves
from making/living the Decision
to change and actually live/apply it. The Mind can create this vacuum inside
us, where it seems like “time does not matter / time does not exist” – before we
know it, months had gone past…even years, and often a lifetime and we every so
now and then wandered off into our minds, considered the change of
self/life/living, for a moment indulging in guilt/regret/remorse about it; but
then simply continuing with our ‘old ways / habits’. In this, using/abusing the
prospect of change to justify/excuse/sabotage/compromise ourselves as to why it
is we’re not taking that step, making that decision, committing ourselves/our
living to in fact change/apply change/walk change.
The question is: how can we sit with a point of change – a prospect
of change/process of change within us, for months, for years…yet, do nothing
about it, but just continue as we’ve always been? Does this mean that we do not
in fact want to change? Because, I mean – if one REALLY, self honestly want to
change, man – you’d put everything of yourself into it. If you REALLY, self
honestly, want a better way of life/living – man, you’d put everything of
yourself/your life into it. Now, many in their minds may go: “But, but, but –
it’s so DIFFICULT, it’s IMPOSSIBLE, I have TRIED, there’s TOO MUCH, there’s SO
MUCH GOING ON, it’s not only THAT…” – and I can continue with what we can come
up in the Mind, doing everything/saying anything possible to just not take that
one step, make that one decision and commit to it.
So, what is it – or who is it – that is in fact holding
back, that is in fact waiting/postponing? What is it within/of ourselves that
seems so powerful, overwhelming that it takes precedence over/of that which we
KNOW would be best for ourselves, would best for all, would contribute to a
better future, a better human? To what extent does our programming /
brainwashing go that we cannot equate a simple commonsense solution, an action of
change and implement it immediately?
We’ll continue more in the next post
