From Addictive Energy-Fix Rewards to Self-Rewarding Living: DAY 444

Fear of Commitment (Part 6)

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 8)

Solution and Reward

In the posts that we have walked thus far – “I will not let my Want take over my Will” and “Fear of Commitment” from DAY 437 to DAY 443: we already see the Solution in the Problem. Following our Wants, how we ‘Feel’ about things in our Minds – separates us from being able to critically/responsibly assess obligations in our life/living experience. How ‘Fear of Commitment’ to change/to walk a process of considering/regarding more than only “how I FEEL about things” / “MY WANTS” – is not in fact ‘Fear of Commitment’, but ‘Fear of losing my feelings / wants’. So, Fear of Commitment also in turn justify/excuse/validate placing our Wants before Reality/Self-Responsibility within our lives – because Fear of Commitment, as ‘Fear of losing my feelings/wants’ – means that one choose to commit to one’s feelings/wants, rather than to self/one’s life and self-responsibility within and as it.

Now that we have walked the Problem-Solution process, let’s look at the ‘Reward’ / Self Reward with not accepting/allowing one’s Wants to dominate one’s Will and Committing oneself to self/change and so the extended responsibility to/as life on earth:

With having a look at some of the points we walked above – I mentioned that our relationship to our wants, needs and desires is more existent within the energy-fix of emotions/feelings we get when we indulge in our wants rather than responsibility. This exists within the statement “I don’t FEEL like doing this”, which inadvertently means “I rather FEEL like doing that” – thus using “energy” to make a decision, and with energy as a starting point…the outcome of the decision is already predetermined, because the Mind/Consciousness will always make a decision that is best for ONLY ITSELF, and so will opt for the choice that will lead to its own best outcome…which is MORE ENERGY. If you indulge in the temptation of rather entertaining your wants and living it out in reality, the Mind’s happy – ‘cause as you do what you want, you feel good, which is how the mind produce more ENERGY/feelings. If/as you decided to tackle the responsibility in reality –you wouldn’t have had the consciousness-reward of a feeling, but rather actually getting something done constructively which is how ‘reward’ works in REALITY.

Therefore, to assist/support oneself in changing/transforming WANTS before WILL/Responsibility and living Self Commitment – is to assist and support self practically, in/as moments where you’re faced with a decision between Want and Will as Energy and Responsibility: to in that moment, make your starting point the physical, reality, yourself here – move yourself from the Mind into the Physical using breath, making the decision to will, as move yourself in reality and reap the rewards in the real world with directing yourself in the real world and getting things done, creating yourself and your life in the reality that is real as the physical. Rather than what you would have done as make the Mind/Consciousness you starting point, base you on ENERGY as emotions/feelings – look at reality through the Mind or in self-interest/greed/wants and in that, rather commit to the REWARD OF THE MIND, which is really just an ENERGY FIX and compromise your position/responsibility in your life/living experience. This is predominantly why the world is the way it is today, as I’ve mentioned before: we’re going about how we FEEL about things, when the physical reality doesn’t exist/move/evolve by FEELINGS – but, by ACTION, how we LIVE and move and behave and direct things in this real world.

So, yes – this is going to be a PROCESS, you have to every moment you find you putting your wants before will/responsibility – deliberately move yourself in the real world and not indulge in the wants, but practise living the Self Commitment to you/your life and so to all. It’s not going to be easy – emotions/feelings are addictive, they FEEL BETTER than simply moving yourself in reality, because you believe that indulging in the energy gives you a REWARD, but the reward is not even to “you” per say, it’s the Mind/Consciousness within and as you that gets the reward as ENERGY.

Thus, change your relationship of Reward to the rewarding process of moving/creating/directing yourself in this real world, where creation is a process – you’re not going to get an instant McDonald’s energy-fix reward like in the Mind, you have to have patience with yourself and your process in this real world and slowly but surely see how you change, how your life/relationships change – every moment you stand by/with/as your decision/commitment and self-will.

Why are the WANTS in our Mind more alluring than Responsible Living?: DAY 443

Fear of Commitment (Part 5)

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 7)

Solution and Reward

Continuing with the Self Forgiveness / Commitment process:

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how indulging in/as the forbidden fruit in our own Minds as the wants, needs and desires that we KNOW will compromise ourselves/others: we make the decision/commitment in the moment to ‘put our wants/needs and desires FIRST’, and everyone within this believes that this means that “I am putting MYSELF FIRST” / “I need to look after MYSELF FIRST”. When this is interesting, because it’s not in fact that you’re putting you first/looking after yourself…you’re putting your WANTS, NEEDS AND DESIRES first: even before you/who you are in yourself and your life/living.

I commit myself to show how the wants, needs and desires is an individual PROGRAM running in the Mind, where you believe that “this is WHO I AM”…when it is not in fact ALL that you are. Yes, they are a “part of you” – but, if one would allow oneself to investigate such wants, needs and desires – one would in fact see the consequence they create in yourself, your life and relationships when it comes to basing decisions on them. Because, the nature of wants, needs and desires is created through ENERGY, emotions and feelings in the REALITY OF THE MIND. In the reality of the Mind – it is seldom taking PHYSICAL REALITY into consideration and so why/how – most of the time: one’s wants, needs and desires cannot materialize into reality/doesn’t turn out as one initially imagined. Furthermore – with investigating EQAFE and the Desteni Forums, as well as the DIP process: one can for oneself trace the extent of consequence wants, needs and desires in the Mind always create in reality. One do not now see it/cannot now see it – because you’re looking through the eyes/possession of your own wants, needs and desires and cannot see “you”, cannot see “reality” or how it all manifest into/as you/reality.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to through writing, forgiveness and self-honest introspection in moments where I am faced with decisions, especially decisions that are in alignment with ‘choosing between MY WANT / HOW I FEEL and Self Responsibility in/as the real world’: to in such moments just take a step back before deciding. Where I would always so easily have just given-into the temptation of my wants, needs and desires; I now assist/support myself to breathe, take a step back and REALLY LOOK/investigate for myself how opting for the want…will consequentially affect/influence my self-commitment to me/my life and living in reality. The more and more and more I assist and support myself to approach decisions in this way, and no more live within the “I’ll deal with the consequences later” self-interest/ego, but rather live by/as the Principle of Prevention: the more I cannot accept/allow myself to deny/ignore responsibility and the consequence of wants and so make it easier for myself to rather just take Responsibility/Will myself to move than give up to the Mind/Consciousness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand the ‘alluring nature’ of/as wants, needs and desires that are predominantly founded within and as emotional/feeling ENERGY; that with investigation/introspection through and as the Desteni Process – one will find how all of one’s wants, needs and desires that are based within and as survival/self-interest and greed, is so tempting, because of the EXPERIENCE of the ENERGY that is connected to/as it in the Mind/Consciousness. That we’re in our relationship to wants, needs and desires in fact placing the ENERGETIC EXPERIENCE it comes with – above practical reality responsibility/consideration/obligation. In this, we’re conditioned already from childhood to place our wants, needs and desires within the starting point of emotional/feeling reactions BEFORE what needs to be done in the real world/taking who we are in relationship to others into consideration, placing Responsibility BEFORE wants, needs and desires.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how from childhood – we’re already conditioned to place “how I FEEL about things” before “what needs to be done” with considering our responsibility/obligation to ourselves, our lives and others. That we as ‘adults / seeming grown ups’ still have not matured in this respect/regard – because we still place how we feel about things/how things make us feel to take precedence over/of what needs to be done/what has to be done.

I commit myself to show how such an instance can even happen in the small/subtle, seemingly irrelevant moments, where we do something like “I don’t FEEL like doing this now” and then we rather entertain a WANT in our Minds that gives us an ENERGY EXPERIENCE and we apparently “feel better”. Doing things that make us FEEL better, rather than looking at the point realistically / practically as in: “I know I don’t FEEL like this right now, but I cannot live my life in REALITY based on how “I FEEL” – this has to be done”. Eventually we can condition ourselves in our Minds within energy to such an extent that we don’t take ANY responsibility for ourselves/our lives in reality. This is becoming more and more problematic within the children of today / teenagers of today: showing how they’re doing more and more what they want/what makes them feel good…no maturity in/as what it means to get things done that needs to be done, no matter how you “feel” about it, but being able to assess/determine what is really, in fact, important and what is not: my FEELINGS, or my future/process/integrity/relationships in this world/reality?

I commit myself to assist and support myself to, when/as I see I need to take action/tend to a responsibility in physical reality and I find I am in ANY WAY reacting to it/there exist a movement in relationship to it – to for a moment stop/breathe, investigate the reaction and see/realise/understand how I am already preparing myself to in some way find a reason/excuse/justification to simply not practically will myself/move myself in/as this real world; but instead give-into an mind-rewarding energy-fix and so compromise my commitment to me/my life and living experience in this real world. Therefore, I commit myself to assist and support myself to – from this moment, instead of giving into reactions to reality, immediately stop and change and simply move myself in reality – not indulging in the Mind, but paying attention to who I am in/as my living in this real world/reality.

We’ll continue more in the next post

Using our own Weaknesses against ourselves: DAY 442

Fear of Commitment (Part 4)

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 6)

Solution and Reward

Continuing with the Self Forgiveness / Commitment process:

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to within this see, realise and understand how – despite even now having an ‘awareness’ / insight into and as my relationship/responsibility to/as me and so to all: the wants, needs and desires of/as the Self-Interest of my Consciousness/Mind – still dominates my decision / ‘living will’ to fundamentally change/prepare me to take responsibility for myself and so the position/responsibility of me within this lifetime in relation to everything/everyone else.

Where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even go to the extent of “well, this process is difficult to walk / it’s impossible to change and so therefore, this must mean that I’m not ‘supposed to change / don’t have to change / that this is not what I’m supposed to be/do in this life”. Not seeing, realising and understanding how, with such a stance, what I’m ACTUALLY in fact saying is: “I don’t want to change / I want to remain in my ‘comfort zone’ / I don’t want to put in the effort/walk the process of change” and within this, what I am doing is manipulating myself with using my experience/application in process as the reason/excuse/justification to in fact protect/defend/validate MY wants, needs and desires – by making my reasons/excuses/justifications sound plausible/just/okay TO ME inside my own Mind.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to identify when I, within my Mind’s thoughts/backchats/reactions – in any way accept/allow myself to manipulate myself into excusing/justifying why I’m committing to ‘my WANTS’, rather than standing with and as my Self/Living Commitment to change/face myself within the Mind and also within this World. To not accept/allow myself to always WANT to ‘take the easy way out’ of responsibility/obligation for who I am within and without, but assist/support myself to persevere, to stand, to move until my Self/Living Commitment to me and to all is a Natural Living Expression of who I am.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand – how it’s interesting that so many individuals, even looking at myself before walking process: if someone would come up to me as I/so many of us walking process now come up to others and SHOW how the Mind works, how we’re directly/indirectly responsible for our own Minds and the state of life on earth as it exist now: that many do not even take the FIRST STEP of allowing themselves to INVESTIGATE, to SEE for themselves; but rather simply immediately REACT in the Mind with the statement “NO!!! I’m not responsible! How can I be responsible? I am my Mind! I am my emotions/feelings!!! There exist no direct relationship between my mind, me and my body and so therefore also not to this world/reality”. Instead of taking the moment to look, to investigate “to investigate ALL things”: one didn’t do it, but instead immediately went into thought/backchat/reaction in the Mind. Again here the question: how can one say NO / abdicate responsibility to something – when one had not yet in fact investigated / introspected / researched it? It’s the same as for example saying “Chemicals into the atmosphere does not Pollute the air or the oceans” and making such a claim because you haven’t researched the facts. With Desteni, you become the facts, the reality, the proof through actually allowing yourself to LOOK through investigating/introspecting rather than just immediately reacting.

I commit myself to show how - with so many individuals that have not investigated/researched/introspected the process for themselves, but instead immediately went into opinion/reaction in their MINDS without taking into account/walking the facts/proof for themselves and them saying this process is impossible/lambasting process: this does not define those walking process or the process itself – but instead, defines the individuals who are reacting, as they are becoming their own living proof of the extent of the problem we face within Human Consciousness, our Consciousness Pre-programming – where even seeing the words ‘equality and oneness/what’s best for all’ is simply immediately dismissed, and a stepping back into the mind, the isolation, the separation and limitation is taken. Within this process exists the Act of Abdicating Responsibility, and within that – why the world and human beings in their Minds are in the state/condition that we find today.

In this, I commit myself to assist and support myself to – when/as I ever find myself immediately going into REACTION when something is shown or even when I see something of myself for myself in my writing, forgiveness and living process: to not judge what I see/hear – but instead UNDERSTAND it, understand the problem, the consequence, look at the information practically/realistically and find a solution, commit to a solution and assist/support myself to CHANGE, rather than hold onto/limit myself in and as my own pre-programming. In this process, I expand my self-awareness, my world and so my living – instead of separating myself further from such an opportunity to learn, to expand to grow within and as who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the seriousness of the problem we face in/as Consciousness Pre-programming, where – we tend to take even the smallest moments of wants, needs and desires coming up in the Mind for granted. Meaning: we don’t see/realise/understand how in such moments, we shift from the here, from the physical, the moment and so our direct-relationship to reality and indulge into/as the Mind. The ‘forbidden fruit’ being handed out TO US by the snake/sly/deceptive mind in/as which we’re so skilled to lure ourselves into and as Temptation. Then we trap ourselves in/as our OWN wants, needs and desires and can for a moment, a day, a week, a month…even years/a lifetime: accept/allow ourselves to get lost in/as this self-created pre-programmed alternate reality and not even realise/see/question who we are within it all, our relationship to ourselves, the physical body and so this physical existence/life on earth.

I commit myself to show how we’re Not considering within this all how: our Minds is ourselves, in that, “we know ourselves the best” and so we know our own weaknesses the best and therefore – with how we have programmed our inherent nature for/as survival/self-interest and greed – we will even use OUR OWN WEAKNESSES against ourselves in/as our own Minds; exactly as we do with others in our world/reality. Like with our wants, needs and desires – our own ‘forbidden fruit’ / weakness, our own sly/deceptive/manipulative nature of reasoning/excusing/justifying why/how we indulge/place our wants, needs and desires before what is best for ourselves and so for all and our commitment to ourselves/life: we are our own worst enemy.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, forgiveness and self-corrective living – investigate/introspect my ‘weaknesses’, to understand them, to understand who I am in relationship to them. So that I can within this assist and support myself to: instead of accepting and allowing myself to sabotage/compromise myself/my life through using my own weaknesses against myself – instead learn/teach myself how to not give into temptation as my own wants/needs and desires dominating my Self-Will, but commit to self/life/living change and work on strengthening my resolve to stand for/as what is best for me and so best for all.

We’ll continue more in the next post

Fear of Commitment (Part Three): DAY 441

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 5)

So, we’ll continue in the next post with having a look at what it says about ourselves with accepting/allowing our WANTS, in the small and big scales – to have precedence over our will, our commonsense, our integrity regarding who we are as a person within ourselves, and questioning whether the point is in fact about ‘fear of commitment’ or is that simply the ‘nice way we’ve found to hide the truth’: we’re putting our wants/desires before what would best for ourselves and life on earth?

Solution and Reward

In and from this post we’re going to, through walking Self Forgiveness,  explore ‘Fear of Commitment’ and why/how it is, in fact, simply a ‘nice way we’ve found to hide the truth’: we’re putting our wants/desires before what would best for ourselves and life on earth. Subtleties

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, throughout my life, ever question or investigate why/how it is that in my ‘awareness’ / ‘conscious thinking processes’ – I have never really considered my relationship/responsibility to/as everything and everyone within this physical existence. 

I commit myself to assist and support myself to ‘expand my awareness’, to ‘expand my world’ – both internally and externally, meaning: to introspect/investigate (with the result of understanding my inner world, my consciousness), how it is that I in fact operate/function within thoughts, imagination and reactions - how they exist/why they exist, what are their relationship to my physical body etc. To within this process – also assist and support myself to expand into/as my outer world / the global consciousness, humanity/this world system and money system. Because I see/realise/understand that we all say “I want to change” / “I want to change my life” / “I wish this world would change”…but we never question: “how can we expect change, if we do not fully understand/comprehend how we got to who we are in our Minds and how we got to how we are as humanity and life on earth to exist as it does?” Without understanding the full-extent of the problem/consequence in the Mind and in this World – we cannot see/create an effective Solution to stop/change the Problem/Consequence.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider, see, realise and understand that if I was not ‘shown’, if I was not assisted and supported to see my relationship and so my responsibility to everything/everyone: I would never have noticed the point for myself / by myself alone.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to educate myself in relation to my internal and external world/realities – the “within and without”, for I have been shown and I looked and so could see for myself how the Mind works, the consequence of its existence in relation to who I am and how/what I live and within this also proven to myself that I can change. I have been shown, I looked and so could see for myself how the World System/Money System works, the consequence of its existence in relation to humanity/this physical existence and within this problem – solutions for how it can be changed. That, I have seen/realised and understood with investigating/introspecting problems/consequence and UNDERSTANDING them – comes the opportunity to find/establish Solutions. We individually/collectively have not been able to see/consider solutions – because we have not been willing to in fact investigate the extent of the problem/consequence we face within ourselves and so within this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to within this see, realise and understand to what extent my Mind/me within and as it was “closed, isolated and separated” from everything/everyone else within this existence – to the extent where I would not have within and as my existent thinking-processes/reasoning skills been able to question and so investigate ‘who I am within me/my life and my relationship to all that is here’. Therefore exposing the extent to which our thinking/reasoning and even seeing/consideration and regard for ourselves and others is limited/locked-in and caged into and as the confines of our own Consciousness – not leaving any room/space for anything/anyone other than our own Self Interest of wants, needs and desires.

I commit myself to assist and support self to change myself from Consciousness-confinement in the Mind, to and as expanding my Self-Awareness into and as Physical equality and oneness – within this process, to see/realise/understand how ‘oneness’ already exist in that we’re all physically here in this physical existence, however Equality within that Oneness does not yet exist, because we’re all individually separate in our own Minds/Consciousness – competing for our wants, self-interest and greed instead of sharing, consideration/regard and giving to others as we would to ourselves. Therefore, I commit myself to assist and support myself to practically in moments where I see I am thinking only of MY WANT and not what is best for everyone – to stop and change, to become more aware of the consequence MY WANTS create not only for me, but for others as well.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand – what it says about me, my nature, my “who I am” that I for so long within my life lived in such a “closed-off, isolated and separate world in my Mind”, where nothing and no one else in fact existed but “me, myself and I” – what it says about the Nature of me/most of us with such a relationship/consideration/responsibility to ourselves and so to all, that would not have existed and now only exist because it was shown to us…

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that – if I was not shown, if I did not make the decision to LOOK and investigate when I was shown the relationship/responsibility and consequence of my relationship to me and so all: that I would never have thought of it, I would never have considered it and I would simply have been one and the same with the masses of humanity that only live ourselves/our lives in alignment to our wants, needs and desires.

I commit myself to show others, as I have been shown, the consequence of Consciousness/the Mind and the separation it has created from ourselves, each other and the oneness within/as this physical existence. I commit myself to show others, as I have been shown, the consequence of the World System/Money System and the separation it has created within humanity and all living beings within the oneness of/as this physical existence. Within this, I commit myself to – with showing the consequence/problems with the within and without: to show the Solution that is ourselves, that is how we live and the relationships we develop with ourselves and each other. I commit myself to be here, to stand here in/as my words for those who decide to LOOK for themselves, to investigate/introspect for themselves through Desteni, EQAFE and DIP and not just immediately react in opinions/judgments – but take the time/breaths to investigate/introspect/research/read and watch what we show, to so learn/educate themselves as we have to see/realise and understand for self how we can change ourselves and through that change how we live and eventually change life on earth.

We’ll continue more in the next post