Love and Fear Tug-of-War: DAY 483

The Moment of Shock

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Five)

We’ll continue more in the next post – expanding on the point with regards to why/how it is that the “fears” that come up in the mind as the “love” for someone grows, stands in the context of being a ‘warning’ and finally understand why we exist in such an extreme polarity of love and fear in our minds in relation to someone; and what are the consequences and solutions for such relationships and experiences we create within the Mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I could never fully comprehend this relationship between Love and Fear, the experience of Love and Fear - as I had not been Aware of how the Mind / Consciousness operate / function and was not Self-Aware to be able to understand my relationship to the Mind / Consciousness and how it leads our ‘self’ / ‘awareness’ into “experiencing / interpreting” life / living and relationships energetically through emotions/feelings instead of actually being grounded within physical reality and in fact living through and as the physical. Meaning – I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how little my focus / attention in relationship to others had been on how we physically interact, participate and communicate and how much more it was about “how I feel about them / me in relationship to them” within my Mind, where my relationship to them was more defined by how I either positively / negatively reacted towards them in my Mind – in so doing, not presenting myself with the space and time to actually develop ourselves as individuals, expand/grow in how live / behave / communicate with ourselves and one-another as I was always so preoccupied with my own internal reactions / experiences as emotions / feelings / thoughts and backchat.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question, to the full extent / degree necessary – why/how it is that within/during a relationship, only “Love” is so celebrated, talked about, expressed, discussed etc. whereas, when it comes to the Fears that come up in the Mind of losing / being separated from a ‘loved one’ / ‘someone close’ – such Fears are pushed back as far as possible in the Mind, to not be looked at / introspected / investigated at all. The more the “Love” is pushed forward through how we speak / behave in its presence – the more the “Fear” is pushed back into the depths of our Mind and so we end-up in the ‘tug-of-war’ between the experience and thoughts of Love and Fear in our Minds, within and throughout the entire relationship being pulled this-way and that-way between the experiences and thoughts of Love and Fear.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever see, realise and understand how on a subconscious / unconscious mind level we have this battle between Love and Fear within our Minds – where our Love for someone will become more intense / overwhelming, the moment the Fears arise in thoughts / projections. Meaning – the moment the Fears / what if’s come up in the Mind of losing someone / missing someone / being separated from someone, we immediately shift into the other Polarity of Love, appeasing our Fears with Love to try and conquer the Fears in the Mind with thinking about / imagining / expressing how much we Love another. But we don’t see / realise / understand how the Fears always seem to return, that we never in fact ‘conquer’ such Fears in the Mind, but only momentarily suppress them when we think / imagine / feel / express the “Love” we have for another person(s). If anything – what in fact comes to pass is that our very Fears materialize / manifest at the end – that we do eventually lose them / separate from them and all that remains in our Minds is memories of how much we Loved them. Then, even still – the memories are accompanied by the loss / grief / sadness and sorrow of their death / separation from us.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how / why it is that from the get-go, with approaching a relationship from the Mind within the starting point of emotions / feelings – it exist within the principle “if you know the beginning, you know the end”; meaning: with a relationship starting-off with being defined within and as experiencing only emotions/feelings to/towards someone – such as Love and Fear, a relationship will always be only that “experiencing / feeling” something to/towards that someone and so it will also be in the end when all that is left of them is memories in the mind / memorabilia in reality – every time one think of them / reminisce / see them in photos etc. – one only have experiences / feelings / emotions that come up. Where, the emotional / feeling experiences in fact blind one from seeing the individual as a person, blind one from seeing the life they had lived as an individual and towards/with self, blind self from the gifts they left behind, blind one from what one could learn about their lives / them as individuals, blind one from what one could take as gifts out of their lives to continue living / sharing / expressing with those still in one’s world.

In the next post, we will continue with explaining how emotional/feeling-based relationships in the Mind is causing us to limit who we are in relationship to others, and how this is/has been contributing to the devolution of human beings – because instead of using the time we have on earth together to grow/expand/develop our communication / living, we only base our relationships on energy experiences and do not create ourselves into/as our utmost potential as individuals and together by using relationships as a platform for the evolution of human beings.

The Physical-Motion and E(energy/mind)-Motion of Process (Part 2): DAY 476

We’ll continue more in the next post with how to practically assist and support oneself when missing point in one’s real-time application. Also, how – even though, when missing points, the points do become more intense / overwhelming: it is in fact a ‘gift in disguise’.

Firstly, we’re going to have a look at why and how it is that a point in the Mind will become more intense / overwhelming when one do not direct oneself in a moment in relation to a pattern / reaction (as we walked the illustration-example with the small-ball’s door that will close and will become bigger, so that the next time a same /similar hole appears – the reactions/thoughts will be more intense / overwhelming).

Now, with the huge ball rolling into the hole – how we want to walk process is: before the huge ball rolls into the hole, it can ‘see it coming’ and with already having preventative measures prepared – rolls around the hole and/or speeds up a bit to jump the hole and/or move through it more graciously than getting stuck in it.

Having a look at this within one’s process: as one see a conflict emerging between oneself and another, one already want to start applying prepared preventative measures, speaking forgiveness and commitment statements, stabilizing oneself within the body, keeping the mind quiet; so that one can direct the moment in reality instead of react towards it within one’s Mind. The same within one’s own Mind – when/as you see a point of conflict coming up in the Mind where one would usually follow the thought pattern and generate emotional / feeling reactions: one ‘see it coming’ and before the thoughts/reactions go out of control within oneself – one direct oneself with self forgiveness, commitment statements and self corrective living to instead change. (For the basics in terms of how to walk and apply self forgiveness, commitment statements and self corrective living in writing and living – we suggest investing in the Self Awareness Steps for the Elite Series where it’s explained in detail.)

When one miss a point in the Mind that activates when facing a challenge in reality / in relationship to another human being: one have the opportunity to ‘discharge’ the point in the Mind through changing oneself in relationship to it (walking forgiveness, commitments, corrective application) OR the point will ‘recharge’ itself when it returns back into the same position within the Mind, which means one’s position / relationship to the point in the Mind will not change.

What I mean with ‘discharge’ and ‘charge’ is the following: all points in the Mind (‘points’ being thought / reaction patterns and/or personalities) consist of ENERGY as its primary substance. The Mind Consciousness System and everything that it consists of / exists as – is substantiated with emotional / feeling / physical energy. So, when one face a thought / reaction pattern in the Mind (when in conflict with another, for example) one will, for example, have thoughts of blame and reactions of anger. Now, when/as one face oneself in the mind in such a way and CHANGE oneself in the moment – forgive the thoughts and reactions and instead remain stable and communicate with commonsense to solve the moment / relationship with the other: what happens with this moment of CHANGE is that one change one’s position / relationship to the thought / reaction pattern. In that change, instead of recharging the thoughts/reactions by participating in them / becoming possessed by them: one stand by oneself, one’s awareness and practical change in physical reality. Thus, the moment of  change ‘discharges’ the ENERGY that one would have given to the thought / reaction pattern in the mind, because instead of giving it / charging it with energy by one’s participation / possession – one stabilized into the physical body / physical reality.

One have to understand that thought and reaction patterns in the Mind is layered – every time in the past one participated in / became possessed by a thought / reaction pattern, one charged and layered it with more and more and more ENERGY. Therefore, practical change in moments – making a decision and living the commitment to change, every time one stabilize in the physical and not participate in the thought / reaction pattern: the thought / reaction pattern’s energy gets discharged over and over and over again. Until eventually – it has no more energy to exist as an ‘active program’ that influence oneself in moments and becomes but just a memory that does not have control / influence over who one is / how one is in moments. So, this is the point one face in moments – where one will either continue charging a thought / reaction or discharge the energy within and as it through applying / living change, until one start naturally living the change within oneself and one do not react / have thoughts about another when in conflict – but are naturally stable and able to direct the moment with commonsense solutions. Therefore, every time one ‘miss a moment of change’ – the thought/reaction pattern becomes ‘recharged’, adding an additional layer of energy / substance of energy and so why/how it feels more difficult to face / change the point in the mind when/as it activated again.

In the next post, we’ll continue with explaining what to do when/as a point is missed – to not go into judgment / blame / being hard oneself and continue explaining why/how such missed points are ‘gifts in disguise’.

Memories as Chains vs. Memories for Self-Change (Part Two): DAY 462

We often ‘indulge’ in our memories, where this ‘indulgence’ can very quickly transform into imagination where we play memories out / relive them and/or transform into internal conversations where we talk to ourselves about the Memories that come up in the Mind.

When memories themselves come up, when we relive them in our imagination and when we talk to ourselves about the memories – they are often accompanied by experiences of emotions / feelings. For most part, as with much of the constructs in the mind such as thoughts / internal conversations / projections / fantasies – we have with memories, not utilized them practically / effectively enough within our Minds. Meaning: Instead of using Memories to reflect on who we are / how we are to facilitate growth/expansion/change – we have used Memories to ‘relive the Mind’, to ‘relive the experiences they produce’ and/or have actually used/misused Memories to justify/excuse/validate certain thoughts/words/deeds that we in fact know was compromising / self-limiting towards ourselves and our relationship to others.

So, with Memories – it’s like we take them and swirl them around within our Minds, looping them over and over and over again: experiencing the same reactions/emotions, having the same discussions, thinking the same thoughts. Not realising how we’re within this process / relationship to Memories: actually keeping ourselves in a loop, keeping our own thought patterns / reactions patterns the same and is one of the reasons why we never change our habits / patterns in our thoughts, words and deeds.

So, the question then: how to assist and support oneself to constructively use one’s memories and relationship to Memories for self-development/growth/expansion and inevitable change, where we LEARN from ourselves through our Memories – rather than solidifying personalities / habits / patterns and create the same consequences / make the same decisions in our lives? See, what is not seen/realised/understood is: through our participation in memories – when we think about them / react towards them / speak about them in the same way, what we’re doing in this process is in fact keeping ‘ourselves the same’. This means: we’re ‘chaining’ who we are and so how we look at things / make decisions - to/as our Past/Memories, and so in the present we’ll make the same choices / decisions which will lead to the same consequences / lead us down the same paths as we had walked in the past / in the memories.

Whereas: if we reflect / introspect on our thoughts/words/deeds in Memories – assess/analyse our words / tonalities / behaviours / choices / decisions and observe their consequences / outflows on ourselves / towards others – we can more ‘readily’ find problems in how we think / speak / act and so accordingly change ourselves so that we don’t make the same mistakes in thought/word/deed.

We contribute to the creation / experience of ourselves and our lives through our relationship to memories – as long as we keep ourselves and the relationship to the memories the same: most of how we experience ourselves and live our lives will be the same. Therefore, in the DIP – one will be introduced to Mind Constructs, which is a practically structured process one walk through Memories in the Mind – where one see for oneself how one’s relationship to memories can be walked in meticulous detail and for oneself see how holding onto memories and our thoughts/reactions towards them: determine how we make decisions/choices and so contribute to how we create/experience ourselves, our lives and relationships within them.

We have also done interviews on EQAFE that explores memories (Here is the link to the page with all the interviews done / walked in relation to Memory: MEMORIES - EQAFE) and how to work with them practically; to discover the resources that in fact exist within and as our Memories and relationship towards them to facilitate oneself into/as self change/growth/expansion within oneself, one’s life and relationships.