Suicide Paranoia – 4: The Creation Process of Suicide Paranoia (Energy Dimension Part 2) DAY 390

So, from childhood – the first construct of Consciousness is emotional/feeling energy. We are as children firstly exposed to emotional/feeling reactions/experiences through which we in our Minds create relationships to our external world/reality, and then as our vocabulary / imagery develop – our Imagination and so our Thoughts develop/evolve. The Detail of this Process how we are introduced to our Mind-Being-Physical Trinity relationship through emotions/feelings as infants – is explained in detail in the Parenting Interview Series.

So, ALL of what one had experienced, energetically, as emotions/feelings as a Child: one cannot remember, yet – those first seven years of your life, is what determined/defined your emotional/feeling bodies of Consciousness, such as WHY you react in specific emotions/feelings in moment, the INTENSITY of the emotion/feeling, what triggers the emotion/feeling and then also of course your very Thoughts, their content, Imagination – everything that seems so ‘natural/normal’ now, was in fact PROGRAMMED by you in those first seven years of your life. And ALL of that – ALL the reactions that you experienced, that now evolved into thoughts/imaginations for example, the origin of that is still existent within you, but suppressed into and as the Unconscious/Quantum Mind of your Mind. You now only live-out the memories of all the reactions/relationships/definitions you have given to all the emotional/feelings energies you experienced that now come to manifest in the form of Thoughts and Imagination, for example.

So, for example – one as a child was exposed to bullying, you know, even that stage where child hit each other, for example, and/or you were just exposed to loud noises you couldn’t understand, or seeing your parents in vocal/behavioural arguments, and/or being hit – with NO comprehension/understanding of it all, you inverted/suppressed such reactions, within the primary experience “Why me?” / “Did I do something wrong” / “Is something wrong with me” / “What did I do” / “Why is this happening to me”. Now, obviously, as a child, you cannot word this or define this and so it becomes an energetic-reactive memory in your Consciousness. Now you grow up and there’s this lingering feeling ALL the time within you, and you can’t quite pinpoint it or define it, it’s just ‘there all of the time’. It feels like a deep-abyss, a depth within you that you’re in, yet you fear at the same time, it’s like, the energy when you’re in it and you experience it feels like this emptiness, this nothingness that’s there and it feels like it literally just sucks everything from your mind/your self into it. Your mind feels heavy, you feel heavy, and soon as that energy takes over, it’s like you can see nothing anymore in anything, or anyone – everything and everyone is just empty, like you don’t even have the energy anymore to WANT to look at anything/anyone, DO anything, don’t want to think, to breathe. Obviously, such an energy evolve into Suicidal tendencies and what can drive one into and as suicidal tendencies as well, as FEAR – when you are confronted with challenges in your world/reality and you have NO IDEA how to deal with it, handle it, confront it, change, find a solution and so that FEAR becomes the deep-abyss as explained above and one just decide to ‘end it all’. Sound familiar doesn’t it? Where, as children – we have NO IDEA how to handle this world, life, people, sounds, words, behaviours and so we SUPPRESS it all. BUT, what is not seen, realised and understood is that: as you age – EVERYTHING you experience/manifest/participate in within your Mind/Consciousness STAYS IN THE MIND and STORES ITSELF IN THE BODY. Thus, the more energy/suppression you go through from childhood into teenager/adulthood years, the less ‘space’ is available in your mind-body relationship for all that energy to be stored and eventually becomes SO MUCH, it just takes over the Mind/Self.

So, primarily to be understood here is that – the ENERGY that initiated the Suicidal experience, thoughts and imagination, is an accumulation process of where you in yourself/the mind just don’t know how to handle things in this world/reality and/or consequence you create for yourself – and then you initially go into suppression of such reactions to things/people/consequence in your environment, to the point where the suppression becomes too much and the energy start overwhelming the Mind/Self and before one know it: it seems like there’s ‘no way out’ – but ‘out’. When, individuals do not see, realise and understand that: what is making you FEEL this way is ENERGY, it’s in the Mind/Consciousness. You as a beingness/awareness is only OBSERVING this all and EXPERIENCING this all, and the Mind and Energy can take over to such an extent that you believe your own energy/thoughts as Paranoia – because it creates the Paranoia of the fact that, because you EXPERIENCE the ENERGY in the MIND, that EVERYTHING ELSE in reality “looks/feels the same” – when it is in fact NOT. The question that has to be considered is that: you have earlier in your life, lived, experienced, laughed and enjoyed and now suddenly there’s this idea that ‘the world is against you, life is not worth it, there is no reason to continue’ etc. – what you must REALISE is that this is a Energy Possession in your mind that is making you SEE yourself and life this way, a Paranoia of Energy/Thought you created/programmed in your Mind, simply because of not understanding how emotions/feelings, thoughts and imagination work and the extent to which we can create a Paranoia, a ParaNOISE a complete alternate paranormal reality in the Mind that can make us lose touch with reality to such an extent, that we can’t even remember anymore who we are, how we are and/or can’t even remember how we saw life/living/ourselves before.

In the next post we will explain how the energy evolves into thoughts and imagination, and how we then enter into a vicious cycle in our own Minds, here the energy creates itself into thoughts/imagination and then we participate in the energy, thoughts and imagination – empowering/substantiating the energy/reaction/experience even more and so give life to something in our Mind / Consciousness that take us farther from/of REAL LIFE/LIVING, that is who we are in and as every moment of Breath.

We'll continue more in the next post

Suicide Paranoia - 3: The Creation Process of Suicide Paranoia – Energy Dimension (Part One) DAY 389

So, let us have a look at HOW exactly we create the Suicide Paranoia in our own Minds with understanding the mechanics of Consciousness through the constructs of energy (emotions), thoughts, imagination and self-talk, the role our ‘awareness’ plays within it all and finally – how to assist and support oneself to set oneself free from Suicide Paranoia into and as a Practical, Functional Living Being that respect/honour oneself as life in and as each Living Breath.

In the previous post, we explained how it all starts with ENERGY-movement, such as an Emotion that then with awareness/attention being given to it, will becomes defined into a thought/self-talk and even into Imagination. So, we’re now going to slowly but surely walk through all these dimensions to practically see/realise and understand how a Paranoia in/as Consciousness is created; primarily because of us not understanding our own existence/relationships and dimensions within and as Consciousness/the Mind.

What must first be Understood is that: we exist in a Mind, a Beingness and Physical Body Trinity Relationship. Our Mind is a ‘interdimensional-physical System’, it is that which contains our thoughts, emotions, feelings, imagination, self-talk – everything we can participate within, but not physically ‘touch/dissect’. Our Beingness is that which is suppressed by the Mind System. One can only reference the existence of one’s Beingness through the point of Awareness. This means that, the fact that one is AWARE, the fact that one can SEE and OBSERVE the thoughts/imaginations you have for example: it is THAT which SEES, which OBSERVE, which is AWARE of the thoughts, the imaginations. It’s like, if you for a moment look at the process unfolding in the Mind/Secret Mind when you think/imagine, it’s like you’re at the same time watching it AND participating in it. If/as YOU were the thought itself or the imagination itself, you would have then seen/experienced yourself AS the imagination/thought itself, seeing/experiencing everything through the eyes of thoughts/imagination. But, we’re not, it’s more like we’re looking, watching and observing it all unfold in the Mind – thus, proving that, thoughts/imaginations are ‘separate things’ in our Consciousness/Mind. Then, obviously we have the Physical Body – that which is the ‘source of life’ for Consciousness through which Consciousness/the Mind resource its emotional/feeling energy from/of and also the ability to create the Thoughts, the Imaginations for example. This one can learn more about in the Quantum Mind Interview Series. Also, to understand more the Trinity Relationship between the Mind/Beingness and Physical Body and why our Beingness is not the Primary Awareness of ourselves/our living – suggest investing in the EQAFE Series Atlanteans, Reptilians and Kryon.

So, within the as the Paranoia of Suicide, there exist in sense of Overwhelmingness. Like, there is this “experience” of energy in one’s Mind and in one’s Body that is just SO overwhelming that one want to stop it, and is this energy that becomes defined into and as Suicidal Thoughts and Imaginations. Therefore, what we first have to Understand is this ENERGY – where/how does this energy come from? How do we Create it? Because, obviously, this energy, this experience within our Minds/Bodies was NOT there within/during our childhood – so, how did it come to possess our Minds and Bodies to the point of wanting to commit suicide? To understand this, let us draw from the Paranormal Realities of the hereafter/afterlife to from there understand how your Mind/Consciousness also function/operate in relation to ENERGY:

So, in the hererafter/afterlife – before the Portal opened, there were different dimensional planes of existence. Each dimensional plane consisting of/existing as a particular energy frequency/vibration. Your Mind/Consciousness exist in the exact same way, as your emotions/feelings can be categorized as different ‘mind dimensional planes’, because each emotion and feeling as its own frequency/vibration/substance/definition. Now, beings in the hereafter/afterlife – dependent on their substance/vibration, would accordingly align themselves into and as specific dimensional planes. With energy emerging in your Consciousness, especially a specific energy or emotion that is in the process of defining itself – will also ‘connect itself to a specific dimensional plane’ in your consciousness to start defining itself into an entity/being/force that will become a Personality in/as your Mind.

So, now we first have to look at how that ENERGY/emotion creates itself in the first place! This process can be multi-dimensional, meaning: if one reference the Quantum Mind Series, one will learn that emotional energy is produced through a friction/conflict relationship of your mind/consciousness to/as the substance in your physical body. This is imperative to understand to understand your own emotions and feelings and how they are in fact created. The moment that energy is created, it starts looking for its place, it’s definition, its purpose for its existence. Now, what can trigger the creation of such an emotional energy is memories and/or when something happens in your world/environment that one’s mind/consciousness preprogramming cannot deal with/handle and/or when/as one do not have the reasoning/understanding skills to handle/deal with that something/someone internally – this can trigger an emotional reaction. If one reference the Parenting Interview Series, we explain within it that: us Humans aren’t ‘educated’ from childhood with regards to how to process reality information commonsensically, for most part, as children, we REACT to our external environment – emotionally. The consequence of this being, that: as children, one can accumulate so many emotional reactions within you, most of them ‘undefined’, ‘cause you did not understand them – that then later in life can accumulate into and as this Energy that leads to Suicidal tendencies, because ALL that energy that one accumulated becomes SO OVERWHELMING in the mind, self and the body that one do not know what else to do with it/change it but to ‘end it’. See, beings think/believe that with suicide that you believe that you want to ‘kill yourself / end yourself’ – but, what is in fact the story within/behind it all is the ENERGY and the THOUGHTS of suicide that one want to stop/end/get away from.

I mean, as children – imagine, you come in as an ‘innocent consciousness’, not  knowing what to expect and already as a child you’re exposed to parents arguing / lashing out, loud voices, explosive behaviour, bullying from other kids, - I mean shit, here I am in this world, arms wide open and you’re met with all this shit? With NO comprehension/understanding/tools/education with regards to how to handle, direct, change the REACTIONS you as a kid experience in such circumstances and so for most part, ALL such reactions/internal processes goes into suppression, because as a child, at that stage, your consciousness is not yet developed enough to transform reactions/emotions into vocabulary/thought in the Mind. But, the moment when/as your consciousness/mind develops its vocabulary when you’re introduced to words, THAT’S when consciousness steps in and starts the process of defining prominent emotional/feelings experiences that accumulated in your mind/body during childhood.

We’ll continue with this in the Next Post

Suicide Paranoia – 2: How/Why Thought is (and creates) Paranoia DAY 388

This Process of how Thought creates Paranoia and how Thought itself is Paranoia – we are going to walk and explain through using the Example of Suicide and so why/how Suicide is Paranoia. The ingredients in Consciousness for the creation of Paranoia is Energy (emotions and feelings, positive and negative), Memories and how this evolve into Thought Processes / ‘Voices in the Head’ and in so-doing – creating a Paranormal Reality in the mind with our own demons haunting our own Mind; with now having a look at the relationship to Suicide.

How Consciousness defines itself into Thoughts, thoughts such as for example “I don’t want to live anymore”, “I can’t go on”, “This life is fucked” / “I am fucked”, “I want to die”, “I should never have been born in the first place”, “Everyone else will be better off without me”, “No-one will even notice I’m gone” and then into Imaginations where you Imagine ways of killing yourself / ending your life – thus, Consciousness defines itself into and as such thoughts and imaginations from ENERGY. It all starts with an energy-movement/experience of an emotion that we then entertain/participate within. The more we access that emotion/energy experience, with the ‘accessing being’ the more ATTENTION we give it, so – the more we access/the more we give attention to the energy - the more ‘force’ we give as we substantiate the energy within/as our consciousness. And it’s fascinating what it looks like, interdimensionally-physically – the creation of such suicidal thoughts/imaginations – it all starts with an ENERGY MOVEMENT, and then one’s awareness gives that energy-movement attention, and one then use the mind’s platform through, for example, inner self-talk / backchat to start “defining / WORDING” that energy the MORE you give it attention. Then, it’s like that energy moves from within the mind and the body into and as WORDS in Consciousness “giving life to Words as the Words give definition to the ENERGY” and from the words, comes the associations of images, pictures and scenes in the Mind/Consciousness that will then come to manifest Imaginations.

And so emerge the creation of one’s own Paranormal Reality in the Mind. See, it was the same process essentially as when a being would die, what remains is this “force / entity”, just like the initial energy-movement / reactions as emotion that comes up within you. As the entity/being/force move into the afterlife, just as the energy-movement moves up into the Mind/Consciousness platform – the entity/being/force will start ‘looking/searching for themselves/for self-definition’, just as the energy-movement one gives attention to – one is in the process of, in the mind, looking/searching for its self-definition through and as words. Then, the entity/being/force finds a dimensional-plane in the afterlife where they feel they belong and then start attaching words/definition/experience to themselves. Just like the energy-movement will then, with one’s awareness start ‘finding its dimension, its experience’ in your Consciousness as you start giving it words, defining it and then becomes your ‘defined thoughts’ – as ‘actual energy beings in your mind / ghosts’ that YOU YOURSELF created in and as your own Mind/Consciousness. Just as the being/entity/force in the afterlife created/defined THEMSELVES through energy and words.

The ‘problem’ within this all being, though that: Humans don’t understand the mechanics of consciousness in its evolution/creation process through energy and words and how humans in fact create/program their own Thoughts/thinking processes through such means. Mainly because you don’t even REMEMBER HOW you did it in the first place, so then, for example, feeling Suicidal is believed to be ‘happening TO YOU’, not realising you created the condition in your own Mind and so, if you created/programmed it – you can re-program it/stop it/changing, with understanding the mechanics of thought, energy and consciousness.

So, why/how THOUGHT is Paranoia is because: THOUGHT is an evolutionary construct of Consciousness. Meaning: THOUGHT is something one creates in CONSCIOUSNESS in a relationship between your beingness-awareness and Consciousness-Energy. Your beingness/awareness, through giving an energy ATTENTION, is then used by/through your Consciousness to through that attention, substantiate the energy more, make the energy more powerful, the more you give it attention, the more you feed it, which gives Consciousness the power to start evolving that energy into THOUGHTS, into IMAGINATION – hell, eventually into an entire PERSONALITY system. And so, your consciousness can create a Paranoia in relation to an ENERGY, one or few ENERGY experiences that you just didn’t in your awareness understood, because you did not understand energy experiences / emotions. And so, Consciousness-itself took Authority / Directive Principle of/as the Energy Experiences/Emotions and created it into and as THOUGHTS/ Imaginations/self talk in the MIND. Using Energy and creating PARANORMAL realities in the mind, instead of Self in self’s awareness UNDERSTANDING ENERGY and how to practically DIRECT IT, to not create paranormal realities in the MIND, but learn what it means to live in/as this REAL WORLD/Reality.

Therefore, as long as one THINK: one is separate from physical reality and lost in the paranormal reality of Consciousness, of which one is then at the behest of Consciousness/the Control of Consciousness. Therefore, one must learn to LIVE in this physical world, BREATH by BREATH – stopping the Paranoia of the Paranormal that drives us into and as states of being/experience, all the while missing LIFE, missing ourselves, RIGHT HERE.

We’ll continue more in the next post

Suicide Paranoia – 1: What is Paranoia? DAY 387

(To understand that this is going to be a Series of Interviews – as we walk this process through step-by-step, to ensure to not accept/allow opinions, judgments, perceptions, ideas to influence one from the get-go, but to walk-with, interview by interview as we explain how the Suicide Paranoia is created in the Mind and how to assist and support oneself to set oneself free from such mind-relationships; into and as Practical Physical Living in and as this World/Reality)

So, let’s first establish the definition/premise for ‘Paranoia’ – because the context of Paranoia we’re going to have a look at here is within/as Consciousness/the Mind in its relationship to THOUGHT. I suggest for context for this interview and interviews to come, to Read Creation’s Journey to Life Blogs - introducing/outlining the context for/as Paranoia in relation to Consciousness: DAY 395, DAY 396, DAY 397, DAY 398, DAY 399, DAY 400

If we have a look at thoughts, the process of thinking in our Minds – our minds are equal to a ‘ghost/interdimensional realm’ like the afterlife. Thoughts are like ghosts floating in the Mind, they have a dimensional/interdimensional substance to them – they are not physical, touchable, tangible / dissectible as one’s relationship to the Physical Body/this Physical Existence. Thus, our Minds and the thoughts/thinking/imagination processes, even self-talk/internal conversations we have - are equal to a ‘Paranormal Reality/Existence’.

Therefore, our Mind/Consciousness is a Paranormal Realm in and as which we create our own Paranormal realities – such as ghosts, from memories that ‘haunt us’, demons from self-talk/imagination that are bad/evil/negative, angels as entities/positive feelings in our minds that make us ‘feel good/positive’, possessions from thoughts/imaginations/images that possess our minds/ourselves that cause us to lose touch with reality. In this Paranormal Realm of the Mind/Consciousness, just as in the REAL interdimensional/dimension existence before the Portal Opened – one can create ALL SORTS of realities, beings, entities, environments with a snap of a finger – taking oneself into and as alternate realities of the Paranormal within and as one’s Consciousness.

Therefore, even in relationship to our Mind/Consciousness we’re looking at a study of Parapsychology – and how we within and as the Paranormal of the Psyche/Consciousness of/as the Mind: create Paranoia. Paranoia specified within/as/through the Word “ParaNOI(se)” – the Noise as sounds, words, sentences, constructs we participate within, in the PARAnormal reality/realm of/as the psyche/Consciousness of/as the Mind.

So, how does Paranoia, as the ParaNoise within the Paranormal of the Mind/Consciousness relate to Suicide and so Why is Suicide Paranoia.

In and from this Interview we’re going to walk a Process of Understanding why Suicide is Paranoia, how we program it/THINK it into existence through thoughts/voices and energy experiences as ghosts/demons that ‘haunt’ our own Minds in and as the Paranormal Reality we create with the Overwhelming Paranoise and so get into the Parapsychology – Paranormal Psyche of/as Consciousness/the Mind. 

We'll continue more in the next post