Fear of Commitment (Part Two): DAY 440

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 4)

Solution

We’re within the walking of the relationship between Want and Will – also facing the Dimension of Commitment. When you ‘choose’ your Wants over the Decision to Live Self-Will: you are making a commitment to your wants, to your Mind. If you make a Decision to stand by/with and Live your Will: you are making a commitment to you. So, again – here, the problem in itself is not Commitment, nor is it the Fear thereof. It cannot be, because commitment doesn’t stand alone, it’s not this externalized force influencing you. Who/what substantiates and so defines and lives the word Commitment is: ‘who we are’, it is in fact Ourselves. Commitment remains commitment, but what will create the consequence of how the word is defined and so lived – is who we are in and as the Word. Therefore, if we can commit to ‘wanting our Wants’ – why not commit to ‘living Self Will’? If we can commit to our Minds…then we are able to commit to ourselves, to the physical, to life.

Many may for example in this moment say: “I’m not COMMITTING to my Mind, my Wants…it’s just who I am, how I’ve been, it’s Natural. I don’t even know what ‘Committing to my Mind/Wants even means! This is ridiculous!” Have a look: Every moment you participate in thought, every moment you give into reactions, every moment you speak words intentionally and deliberately where you know it is going to cause harm/consequence – are moments you are committing to the Mind, to your Wants. In moments where you want something that you know will compromise a relationship, a friend, a family member or get you into trouble – is a moment where you make a choice, a commitment to ‘getting your own wants in your own Mind’ – committing to putting the mind/wants BEFORE consideration/regard of others/your life/consequence. Commitment is an action, it’s a choice/decision that is acted upon/lived out – either in the Mind or in Reality. The difference between why it seems so natural in the Mind/in relationship to our wants – is because we’ve always done it, it’s the choice, the action of participating/living out the Mind/it’s wants that’s become so ‘easy/natural’; which in turn is why we don’t “obviously SEE” the commitment. Because, as I’ve explained: commitment takes an allowance/permission and then the choice/action to stick to/live out the commitment. Therefore, with our allowance/permission of participating in the mind/giving into reactions being so automated, seemingly natural and so immediate in choice/action: is why we don’t even realise how we’re in fact every time committing to the Mind. Therefore, making the decision to change one’s commitment to self, to a better self, way of life/living – not only for self/for all, is going to be a process of deliberately, in awareness, in moments sticking to/standing by this commitment – making that decision, and living that decision for a changed self/life.

So, bringing the point of Want and Will, as well as Commitment together – we have to consider the following: Are we not, then, fully committing to a change that we know will contribute to ourselves/life on earth for the better – only because we feel it does not serve our Wants, our Self Interest? Surely must be, because it’s obvious that we only would not want to change/commit to change, even despite knowing the betterment of it – if ‘there’s something else we want, need, desire, want to do/achieve which we believe we can only do/have/achieve “MY WAY” and so will give up a better self/life – not only for self, but for all, just so that one can have that one/few wants, needs and desires. Because, within us – a part of us knows that, we have to compromise, deceive, sabotage, lie, be secretive, manipulate –hold onto the ENTIRE Mind, ALL our personalities to achieve/get/have that one/few WANTS. We believe that a TOTAL better self/life – for self and for all, will mean that “I will not get MY WANT MY WAY”…this is frightening to face, to look at. Many will try and deny this, but we in fact do it most of the time, every time we indulge in imaginations, in backchats that are detrimental to ourselves, our integrity and relationship to others – we say “this moment I want MY WANT MY WAY”, instead of being the ‘better person that we know we can be’ and use that moment to change ourselves, to change how we see, how we react, how we approach a moment/relationship.

So, we’ll continue in the next post with having a look at what it says about ourselves with accepting/allowing our WANTS, in the small and big scales – to have precedence over our will, our commonsense, our integrity regarding who we are as a person within ourselves, and questioning whether the point is in fact about ‘fear of commitment’ or is that simply the ‘nice way we’ve found to hide the truth’: we’re putting our wants/desires before what would best for ourselves and life on earth?

Fear of Commitment: DAY 439

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 3)

Solution

Continuing with the question we left off with in the previous post: “Why are we making such a simple Decision from Want to WILL to actual self/world change so difficult for ourselves?” – we’re going to have a look at, essentially, why/how it is that we make Change/Self Change and/or life/living changes so difficult for ourselves. When, all it takes to change, to will oneself, as move oneself into physical change/application – is a Decision and to stand by that Decision/with that Decision until it becomes a ‘natural living expression / way of life’ for self.

A point opened up within the Relationship Series walked in EQAFE regarding ‘Commitment’ – a Decision and the living of/as such a Decision to change, to change oneself and one’s life/living: is a Commitment. It’s a commitment you make to yourself and for yourself. But, WHY – despite seeing how a self change/life change will benefit one internally and externally…do we still sabotage / compromise ourselves, where the More we “TRY” and change/commit/make a decision – the more we sabotage / compromise it?

Many walking the Desteni Process are confronted with this point daily when it comes to writing / walking DIP / making decisions - where the benefit of the processes can be seen/felt/lived, but YET – when it comes to commitment, to following through: we fall. The closer and closer we get to or even get to the moment of seeing/sensing how a Change/Commitment/Decision will fulfil us, we find some way or another to destroy it, to fall back into the Mind/old destructive habits/patterns that we KNOW will lead us down a certain path/consequence…yet, we still do it.

What is scary is that we can spend months, years…if not a lifetime, facing one point of self/life change – and spend those months/years and even a lifetime justifying/excusing/sabotaging and compromising ourselves from making/living the Decision to change and actually live/apply it. The Mind can create this vacuum inside us, where it seems like “time does not matter / time does not exist” – before we know it, months had gone past…even years, and often a lifetime and we every so now and then wandered off into our minds, considered the change of self/life/living, for a moment indulging in guilt/regret/remorse about it; but then simply continuing with our ‘old ways / habits’. In this, using/abusing the prospect of change to justify/excuse/sabotage/compromise ourselves as to why it is we’re not taking that step, making that decision, committing ourselves/our living to in fact change/apply change/walk change.

The question is: how can we sit with a point of change – a prospect of change/process of change within us, for months, for years…yet, do nothing about it, but just continue as we’ve always been? Does this mean that we do not in fact want to change? Because, I mean – if one REALLY, self honestly want to change, man – you’d put everything of yourself into it. If you REALLY, self honestly, want a better way of life/living – man, you’d put everything of yourself/your life into it. Now, many in their minds may go: “But, but, but – it’s so DIFFICULT, it’s IMPOSSIBLE, I have TRIED, there’s TOO MUCH, there’s SO MUCH GOING ON, it’s not only THAT…” – and I can continue with what we can come up in the Mind, doing everything/saying anything possible to just not take that one step, make that one decision and commit to it.

So, what is it – or who is it – that is in fact holding back, that is in fact waiting/postponing? What is it within/of ourselves that seems so powerful, overwhelming that it takes precedence over/of that which we KNOW would be best for ourselves, would best for all, would contribute to a better future, a better human? To what extent does our programming / brainwashing go that we cannot equate a simple commonsense solution, an action of change and implement it immediately?

We’ll continue more in the next post

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 2): DAY 438

 Featured Artwork by Matti Freeman

Solution

In this post, we’re exploring the two questions posed in the previous post, which were: what is the difference between the ‘I Want’ in the Mind and ‘Self Will’ in the Physical? What are the consequences of living in a Mind of Want, rather than a Self-Willed directive principle in the physical/real world? Within exploring these questions, we will find the Solution to our Mind’s / I’s Self-Interest that has accumulated consequence for humanity in this real world, because we’ve always only sought after our own Wants, rather than living by a Principle as Self-Willed individuals within a starting point of equality and oneness as what is best for all – therefore, creating a World of Greed, internally and externally, rather than a world of Giving/Sharing.

Now that we have, in the previous post, established the ‘I don’t WANT to’ in/of the Mind – let’s have a look at Self-Will in the Physical:

Self-Will is lived only by an actual decision self makes. Meaning, in a moment where one see something to be done/someone needing direction/a responsibility to be tended to – one within oneself make a Decision to prepare/stand up and get it done and in/as that Decision, Will oneself to physically move oneself to get it done. So, the equation for Self-Will in the Physical/Real World is Decision + Will + Movement = getting things done in the real world: Placing, thus – Responsibility in the real world BEFORE one’s own greed and self-interest. As opposed to the “I don’t WANT to” of the Mind, where the equation goes: I + don’t WANT to + emotional energy = inaction within the physical real world, placing self-interest/greed before practical reality responsibility.

One can essentially say that Self-Will is one’s “inner movement” – an “inner force” that ‘wills one into external movement/physical movement’ within/as one’s Physical Body. The Decision one make is what Propels one’s Will/inner movement into and as Movement/external movement – all of this happening in/as the Physical. Whereas, with the ‘I don’t WANT to’ of the Mind: this creates an “inner REACTION” of emotion/feeling, where the emotional energy becomes the force that separates oneself from/of the physical body and so physical reality and thus becomes easier to justify/excuse/validate abdication of responsibility/action in the real world.

Therefore, it is clear to thus far see the Consequence such a statement of “I don’t WANT to” does to oneself and so one’s life/living responsibility and movement in/as the real world. If we’d only instead in those moments where we find such a statement/point even wants to come up within us, DECIDE: “No, ‘till here no further – I commit to no more accept/allow my Want to take over my Will”, and in that moment take a simple breath, get up and stand up physically and get things done in the real world: this will make an actual noticeable difference within one’s practical living experience.

The problem we face in the Mind is that we still accept/allow ‘backdoors’ for ourselves to our responsibility towards ourselves and our practical life/living experience in this real world. These backdoors can also be referred to as ‘choice’, where we still allow ourselves ‘OPTions’ to OPT out of responsibility in our relationship to what is real as the physical world/reality – placing, thus, with such backdoors/choices/options our WANTS before what is practically needed/required to be done in the real world; and because of this – we have what we see as humanity today: everyone existing in the Mind’s Self-Interest, living for GREED. Where we’re not yet able to come together and stand together as self willed individuals, standing with a Decision as starting point to place our wants/greed secondary to what must firstly be done/get done within/as life on earth: to ensure that all are taken care of/cared for within the principle of equality and oneness and what is best for all.

Why are we making such a simple Decision from Want to WILL to actual self/world change so difficult for ourselves?

We’ll continue more in the next post