Memories as Chains vs. Memories for Self-Change: DAY 461
I was sitting on Cerise’s bed in her room while we were busy
doing the Descriptions for EQAFE Interviews,
when all of a sudden – a Memory pops up within me. Or not so much ‘popping up’
as ‘floating ever so gently’ into/as my immediate awareness. This memory is
something that I hadn’t thought of in YEARS – actually, having a look at it
now: it was the first time this particular moment in my life came up as a
memory within me. It goes back to when I was about 7 / 8 years old when my
family went to meet friends of theirs and I was in their house. This memory was
specifically when I was sitting in their lounge and the grown-ups were around
the house catching up / discussing things. However, the memory
was in a ‘freeze-frame’ – so, it was like only a moment of an entire memory
that came up within me. Interestingly enough, it also came up with a resonance –
a resonance meaning: it came up with a ‘feel’ inside the physical body – like the
memory-itself had a presence to it that I felt inside the physical body.
Now, as I was sitting on Cerise’s bed I paused the memory
for a moment – because, in relation to what her and I were doing and also the
room-itself, I could not immediately find any context for why this particular memory
and specific moment in the memory would in any way be triggered / activated. So,
I went through a couple of dimensions to assess the relationship between the
memory and where I was in the room – and finally went to the resonance/feel
that came up together with the memory to from there see if I accessed that same
resonance/feel inside Cerise’s room. There I found the connection. So, for a
quantum moment – there was a ‘feel’ to Cerise’s room: the temperature, the time
of day, the smells that created a specific presence/feel to the room itself;
all of which perfectly aligned in that particular moment in such a way that it
was exactly the same feel / experience I physically had in the memory when I
was sitting in the lounge as a child in my parents' friends house. So, the
context of the memory was what I was aware of as a child in the room – because in
the memory, it was the first time I had been to my parents' friends house and
so, as a child, one is quite aware of the feel/smells in an
environment/room/new house.
I investigated my relationship to the
memory more – to ensure that there were no emotional/consciousness
attachments/reactions to it and didn’t find any but for that the memory
activated through its relationship to ‘physical senses’. In the memory, the
focus was very much on how I physically experienced the room and in Cerise’s
room – it was also a moment where I was aware / physically experienced the
moment within the room.
What I looked at in relation to this moment, is how few of our
memories in fact contain ‘physical senses’ – meaning: more often than not – our
relationship to memories is through the Mind/Consciousness, where we have
energetic-experiences (emotions/feelings), thoughts / imaginations and even
internal conversations that would come up / that we’d have within the Mind. This
particular memory was when I was a child, where my awareness
was more within noticing physical things / changes / sensations and as I was in
Cerise’s room and we had just finished discussing a point and I was simply
sitting there – I for a moment accessed the total physical environment, just
breathing and waiting for her to write some things down; which is when the
memory came up.
So, with our relationship to Memories more existing through
the Mind than the Physical / our Awareness – is also illustrative of the extent
to which, in our day-to-day living: we’re more living through the Mind than in
an equal and one self-aware
relationship with the Physical.
With this particular memory I faced, though – it was activated
through the physical senses from the external environment and then came up
within me. Whereas most of the time – when memories
come up within the Mind, it triggers/activates our Mind MORE – where we
tend to react/judge/converse about the memories that arise in the Mind. Therefore,
initially in our processes: we use memories practically / constructively to
assist/support ourselves in the process from Consciousness to Awareness –
investigate what memories are holding thought-patterns / Personalities /
reaction-patterns in place; because at the moment - memories
and our relationship to it, tends to hold our Mind/Consciousness ‘in place’
and memories are a cool resource to use to see what we have accepted/allowed
within ourselves as the Mind/Consciousness, to learn from the past, to
introspect and observe ourselves.
We’ll continue more in posts to come with regards to how we
can practically assist/support ourselves in our relationship to Memories, to
utilize them as a resource in our Process from Consciousness to Awareness –
instead of memories chaining us into/as our own Past which limits our Potential for Change.
