Memories as Chains vs. Memories for Self-Change (Part Two): DAY 462

We often ‘indulge’ in our memories, where this ‘indulgence’ can very quickly transform into imagination where we play memories out / relive them and/or transform into internal conversations where we talk to ourselves about the Memories that come up in the Mind.

When memories themselves come up, when we relive them in our imagination and when we talk to ourselves about the memories – they are often accompanied by experiences of emotions / feelings. For most part, as with much of the constructs in the mind such as thoughts / internal conversations / projections / fantasies – we have with memories, not utilized them practically / effectively enough within our Minds. Meaning: Instead of using Memories to reflect on who we are / how we are to facilitate growth/expansion/change – we have used Memories to ‘relive the Mind’, to ‘relive the experiences they produce’ and/or have actually used/misused Memories to justify/excuse/validate certain thoughts/words/deeds that we in fact know was compromising / self-limiting towards ourselves and our relationship to others.

So, with Memories – it’s like we take them and swirl them around within our Minds, looping them over and over and over again: experiencing the same reactions/emotions, having the same discussions, thinking the same thoughts. Not realising how we’re within this process / relationship to Memories: actually keeping ourselves in a loop, keeping our own thought patterns / reactions patterns the same and is one of the reasons why we never change our habits / patterns in our thoughts, words and deeds.

So, the question then: how to assist and support oneself to constructively use one’s memories and relationship to Memories for self-development/growth/expansion and inevitable change, where we LEARN from ourselves through our Memories – rather than solidifying personalities / habits / patterns and create the same consequences / make the same decisions in our lives? See, what is not seen/realised/understood is: through our participation in memories – when we think about them / react towards them / speak about them in the same way, what we’re doing in this process is in fact keeping ‘ourselves the same’. This means: we’re ‘chaining’ who we are and so how we look at things / make decisions - to/as our Past/Memories, and so in the present we’ll make the same choices / decisions which will lead to the same consequences / lead us down the same paths as we had walked in the past / in the memories.

Whereas: if we reflect / introspect on our thoughts/words/deeds in Memories – assess/analyse our words / tonalities / behaviours / choices / decisions and observe their consequences / outflows on ourselves / towards others – we can more ‘readily’ find problems in how we think / speak / act and so accordingly change ourselves so that we don’t make the same mistakes in thought/word/deed.

We contribute to the creation / experience of ourselves and our lives through our relationship to memories – as long as we keep ourselves and the relationship to the memories the same: most of how we experience ourselves and live our lives will be the same. Therefore, in the DIP – one will be introduced to Mind Constructs, which is a practically structured process one walk through Memories in the Mind – where one see for oneself how one’s relationship to memories can be walked in meticulous detail and for oneself see how holding onto memories and our thoughts/reactions towards them: determine how we make decisions/choices and so contribute to how we create/experience ourselves, our lives and relationships within them.

We have also done interviews on EQAFE that explores memories (Here is the link to the page with all the interviews done / walked in relation to Memory: MEMORIES - EQAFE) and how to work with them practically; to discover the resources that in fact exist within and as our Memories and relationship towards them to facilitate oneself into/as self change/growth/expansion within oneself, one’s life and relationships.

Suicide Paranoia – 12: Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments DAY 398

So, in this post we’re going to walk a few more dimensions regarding Suicide Paranoia to take into consideration within one’s process of assisting and supporting oneself from Paranoia, into and as the Living Reality. This we’re going to do through walking a Process of Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments:

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand my accepted and allowed relationship to and as Suicide Paranoia in my Mind within the context of how Suicide Paranoia exemplify Human’s Nature with regards to ‘self interest’, that: if/as my starting point were to be standing and standing up for, living/living for not only myself – but expand my awareness, my purpose to something ‘more, to something greater’ than the “Only ME, ME ME” mind-set – how, in such a starting point/purpose, could even the option of suicide exist if I understand that there is in fact more to “just me” within myself and so existence as a whole? How Suicide Paranoia completely isolate oneself into and as the Mind, me becoming my own possession – feeling like my world/problems are “closing in on Me” and cycling in my Mind to such an extent that I cannot, in my Mind, see beyond “just me and the problems that surrounds me in my Mind” – not seeing, realising and understanding how I am creating all of this in my MIND, that if I assist and support myself to walk through the relationship between me and the problems circling the inside of my Mind, and open me and my eyes into and as Reality beyond only directly seeing into the Problems – that I will in fact see the Potential, the Opportunities that I would have missed and do miss with me accepting and allowing my own Mind to possess me.

I commit myself to assist and support myself, to through Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Commitments and Self Corrective Living – walk-through the Points, the Memories, Relationships and Experiences that Possess my Mind, where I have conditioned my Self-Problem relationship in the Mind to such an extent, that I don’t see that “what you are is what you will create/manifest”. So, if I, within my Mind – create me into a Self-Problem primary relationship, all I will be, see, live and experience is “problems” and so I commit myself to stand and stand up from such an relationship in my MIND, see BEYOND and THROUGH the problems through walking through them within myself to see into and as Solutions – from Paranoia Possession to me as the Living Solution.

In this, I commit myself to assist and support me to align me, my life/living and so purpose ‘beyond only the self interest of the ‘me, myself and I’-Ego of Consciousness’ – to see, realise and understand that, we individually cannot accept and allow ourselves to always only look into Problems and possess our Minds with problems, because in so doing we just create MORE PROBLEMS/Consequence, but to assist and support myself to start LIVING SOLUTIONS, to see/walk through the Self-Problem relationship, so that I can be a Living Example for more to see, to open their Eyes beyond what they only see in the Mind/Consciousness, so that we can start Looking into Reality, this Real World, the Real Problems we collectively face on ALL LEVELS of existence, so that we can stand individually and together and bring this world/reality into and as a Living Solution.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how the Mind/Consciousness can make things seem “so real”, not seeing, realising and understanding that I only experience it to be “so real” in the Mind, because I have defined ‘who I am’ MORE to what goes on in the Mind, than realising I have the ability, within and as my awareness – to CHANGE this relationship to/as what I have accepted and allowed to be “real” in the Mind because of acceptance, allowance, belief and definition. Meaning, that – I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that: what goes on in the Mind is “dimensional” – I can change my relationship to it, I can stop participation in and as it, where the problems in the mind keeps on coming up as, for example, memories that haunts my mind and I keep on accepting and allowing myself to react to the memories the same way, over and over and over again, not seeing, realising and understanding that: I can CHANGE me as the reactions I have to the memories, forgive the reactions, let the memories go and decide to LIVE HERE IN WHAT IS ACTUALLY REAL as the Physical as who I am in every moment of Breath. So therefore, it is for me to see, realise and understand the difference between mind-reality and who I am within it, which I can change – and so change me in who I am in my actual physical living in reality in every moment of breath. So, my relationship to the Mind and the memories that haunt me – is only as real as I accept and allow it to be in terms of my relationship to what goes on within the Mind.

Therefore, I commit myself to assist and support myself to walk through the Memories that haunt my mind, CHANGE ME in relationship to them, investigate the reactions/experiences and make the commitment to no more accept and allow MEMORIES to define who I am in every moment of breath / how I experience myself, for MEMORIES to define the reality of who I am within me and my living, but for me to live the decision to stand with me, by me to walk this Life and establish my utmost potential as I walk out of the shadow of the Mind/Consciousness and finally get to know what it means to live in and as Self AWARENESS in every moment of breath with and as that which in fact represents Life and Living as the Physical/the Physical Body.

In this, I commit myself to see, realise and understand that – I have for too long accepted and allow the past, the memories, the experience and relationships in my MIND to haunt me, to possess me to the point where I want to end me within it all, through for example the suicidal tendencies/imaginations/thoughts. Not seeing, realising and understanding how I am accepting and allowing dimensional creations, in a paranormal realm in my Mind, that I am ‘making real for me’ through constantly participating in it, ‘keeping it real, keeping it the same, making it more and more overwhelming the more I participate in and as it’ – to drive me to a point of wanting to end me, when in fact: I can be the START the rebirth of me as my Awareness, with seeing, realising and understanding I can CHANGE me in relationship to what comes up in the Mind and what  I accept/allow in the Mind and what not. And so, I commit myself to assist and support me to not be the end of me, but to be/become the beginning, the start, the REBIRTH and utilize my life/living opportunity in this lifetime, to rebirth me in every moment of breath, from Paranoia to Self Aware Living – simply by changing who I am in relationship to the Mind, through writing, forgiveness, commitments and corrective application.

We’ll continue more in the next post

Suicide Paranoia – 8: Giving-up on Self and Giving-in to Paranoia DAY 394

Continuing with the process of Thought-development in relation to Suicide Paranoia, to understand that: as we have illustrated in the previous post, the process unfolds from energy, to memories, to imagination and self-talk, which is thinking; therefore, the human being Internalize reality into themselves, into energy, and then re-produce memories of actual reality WITHIN THE ENERGY THAT THEY REACTED. This means, that – if/as the individual reacted, emotionally, to/as other human beings’ words and behaviour, such as being belittled, over an extended period of time, those memories are internalized into and as the Mind and is ‘tainted’ with and as the Energy, the emotional energy’ that the human being experienced in and as reality, and is now being replayed, recreated in and as the memory / memories in the Mind.

So, it’s like fascinating that: the energy, such as belittlement, for example, permeate and infiltrate the memory and then in the memory and as the energy – the being then starts evolving the memory and the energy IN THEIR OWN MINDS even more, it’s like the energy itself, the memory/memories themselves “comes alive in the Mind” and so the being will replay the memory/memories over and over and over again and as we said/explained: creates a complete paranormal reality in their Minds, of themselves, of others, of conversations, of reactions/experiences which then in turn becomes a possession, into a paranoia where the Individual will then start seeing Reality/Others through the eyes of their Reactions/Memories/Paranoia that they created in the Mind and soon enough, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE starts looking like/feeling/saying/behaving according to how they created others to be in their own Minds.

Let’s say a being is exposed to bullying over an extended period of time. What their Consciousness/Mind memorizes are the moments/instances where they were verbally being bullied. Such things makes an extensive impact on an individual’s self/mind and experience/living, mostly because they don’t know how to deal with such bullies and also don’t know how to deal with the reactions they experience within themselves. Then, all those moments of bullying becomes accumulated memories in the person’s Mind, where they replay the events over and over and over again, where it’s like – with it being replayed in the mind, it’s experienced EXACTLY the same as though it is happening in reality / ‘real life’. What is also interesting regarding us Humans, is how we tend to believe MORE what OTHERS say about ourselves, than us standing by a decision/living statement of/as who we are – and so, because of this, the individual that is being bullied, with replaying the memories over and over and over again, with the memories/moments having such energetic/emotional impact on themselves, starts considering that What OTHERS are saying about them “must be true”. This in itself is quite a shock to the ‘Self’, because in a way – there exist the awareness of the fact that, Self is accepting/allowing others to define self, that Self is ‘giving into THEM and giving up on SELF’. So, it’s fascinating that the point of ‘giving up / giving in’ already in fact happen in the Mind-Self relationship, where Self accept and allow what others, in the memories of one’s Mind say about self, such as being useless/a loser/not worth it/not going to make it/ugly/fat/ etc.  to give up/give in and so let others Define Self in one’s own MIND. Other’s voices in the head, in/as memories Haunting one’s self / one’s Mind. And, when that happens, it is also, in a way, already giving up one’s life – we all in some way have committed a form of suicide in the sense of our “Self”, our “Who We Are”, our “What we Stand for and as” and have compromised that “for the sake of others”, to fit in, to be popular, to be a consumer, to have a social network, to be Noticed – but all in the sense of EGO, for Money, for Survival – preserving Self-Interest, and so-doing, ending THE Life, THE Self within the principle of/as equality and oneness, what’s best for all, so we all gave up/gave in on Life-itself for the sake of Self Interest, Ego.

Therefore, when the Human Being, in their Minds start defining themselves MORE to the voices of others, than hearing their own commonsense awareness: the relationship to/as Paranoia becomes more extreme, because in the memories of the voices of others, they lose their own Voice, their own Awareness, their own Stand and Paranoia takes over, the Memories takes over, the Voices of others takes over, their Own Thoughts turn against them as they, themselves, then start believing that what others are saying about them are real/true/in fact so. There is the saying “there can Only be One” – we’re either going to develop our SELF Awareness to stand and Live, or we create our own Paranoia, the Paranormal Reality in Consciousness that then possess our Self, our Awareness; I mean why not Consider what one can Create within and as SELF Awareness and one’s LIVING in and as this REAL WORLD than accepting and allowing Self to Create your own Paranoid Possessions in/as Consciousness that will only lead to unnecessary consequence and regret.

We’ll continue more in the Next Post