A Dedication to SELF Forgiveness – my Guardian Angel (Part 2): DAY 498

  

In the next post I will continue with “Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost”, “Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty” and many more, to assist and support with understanding how the relationship you develop with yourself through Self Forgiveness and doing it genuinely, within self honesty assists and supports with discovering parts of yourself only you can gift to yourself through the tool of Self ForGIFTness

Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost

In the beginning of my process, becoming aware of my Mind, the thoughts and emotions - it was like everything intensified, could become so overwhelming where it felt like I was underneath waves crashing down on me with no opportunity to come up and breathe for air, not knowing what’s up, down, left or right inside myself. It is initially a shock when you become aware of how much you think and the extent to which thoughts generate emotions / feelings inside yourself…but at the same time, with understanding that it only seems so intense / overwhelming because you were never AWARE of / never LOOKED at your own thoughts / emotions – so, now with directly looking at them, it’s like you start seeing your thoughts and emotions everywhere within you, all of the time…

Sometimes within this experience inside myself, especially when I would be THINKING too much about something / someone and not actually write it out to look at it more constructively…I would very easily get lost in my thoughts and emotions. Lost meaning, where – I ‘forget’ to forgive myself, ‘forget’ to write it out, ‘forget’ to take a moment to breathe. So ‘losing myself’ in this context means where I lose that part of myself, my awareness to stabilise myself inside, to ground myself, to quiet myself as I spiral myself, my awareness into my thoughts and emotions into the experience of crying it out, collapsing on the bed crying, bundling up into a ball crying…like making myself ‘fall’ inside myself and completely giving into my thoughts and emotions. Then, once I cried out all the emotions and released all the energy inside myself through crying…the energy veil would drop, I would breathe and then look at the situation, speak to someone, talk it out and come to realise everything was not ‘the end of the world’ or as bad as my thoughts / emotions made it out to be.

Then, I would look back and ask myself “why didn’t I just breathe, forgive and let go from the BEGINNING?!?!?” I in the end ‘found myself’ again, ‘came back to myself’ once the emotions settled…so, why put myself through all that, all the intense, overwhelming, whirlwind thoughts and emotions and crying / collapsing when I could prevent that by just from the get-go breathe, forgive and ground/stabilise myself? So, we can lose ourselves for MOMENTS in thoughts / emotions the longer we stay in them, but we’re never “lost” – a part of our awareness is always present throughout it all…I realised that I just didn’t make the decision, I just didn’t move myself the MOMENT the thoughts and emotions started escalating inside myself to stop for a moment, to breathe, to forgive and then write it out / speak it out within someone.

So, after a couple of times of ‘losing and finding’ myself in this way, I HAD ENOUGH!!! and applied the principle of prevention to – whenever the thoughts / emotions started building inside myself, MOVE MYSELF to stop, to breathe, to FORGIVE the emotions and so settle myself / my awareness within myself and instead DIRECT the points inside myself with writing / speaking about it. This ‘movement’ of myself is where I in a moment REMIND myself “if I don’t breathe and forgive NOW…this is going to escalate and I am going to put myself through unnecessary turmoil”. So, it’s either me with AWARENESS releasing the emotions BEFORE they go out of control and build up inside myself to the point of losing myself inside myself for a moment…or the emotions take over and release themselves eventually through crying / collapsing inside myself…both directions eventually leading to the same outcome: I return to myself. So, I much rather direct myself with awareness, with forgiveness in the beginning than accepting and allowing myself to put myself through unnecessary turmoil…

Granted, there were moments and still are where I face thoughts and intense emotions that take over in a moment, so fast that it caught me ‘off-guard’ inside myself, but even though this happened – because I have practised in my Awareness so much, I can stop, breathe and forgive while I am in overwhelming thoughts / emotions…so it never got to the point where I would ‘lose myself for a moment’…my Awareness would be here, intact within myself – even able to immediately stop, breathe, forgive and direct in overwhelming turmoil of thoughts and emotions.

This is how self forgiveness and the application thereof assisted and supported me to be stable and grounded inside myself, even though things may seem impossible / lost, because a trust develops within yourself where you know that no matter what you’re facing, you’ll guide yourself through it and understand it and be able to resolve it within yourself through having yourself, your ‘guide’ as Self Forgiveness. Most importantly, how my writing, speaking and application of Self Forgiveness made me realise that I can stand in such a way within myself where I am not a victim to my own thoughts and emotions, I don’t have to ‘lose’ myself inside myself – I can stand up and direct my own thoughts and emotions in such way where it does not compromise me, what I experience, what I say and do.

In the next post, I will continue with “Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty” and “Thank you for showing me what it means to know myself, to understand myself”…

Also expanding more on how – with ‘losing yourself in moments’, such moments are opportunities to LEARN about yourself, to UNDERSTAND yourself as the Mind and so opportunities to grow, develop and expand your awareness even more…

A Dedication to SELF Forgiveness – my Guardian Angel

Here I would like to share my journey and experience of walking with Self Forgiveness. I have been applying and living Self Forgiveness for 10 years this year…a decade of self-change, a decade of challenges I have faced, am still facing and sure I will be facing in the future still; however Self Forgiveness and my application/living thereof has been the one constant, the one tool (along with the unconditional support and assistance of other people) that has been my guardian angel through the good and the bad. Without Self Forgiveness – writing, speaking and living it…I don’t know who and where I’d be today, so I owe much to being introduced to Self Forgiveness this life and I would like to share what Self Forgiveness has done for me, as I am sure it will do for each one incorporating this tool in themselves, their lives.

Obviously to understand here, it’s not Self Forgiveness in itself that ‘saved me’, meaning: it was the tool and ‘who I am’ with and as the tool in my application and living, my writing and speaking of Self Forgiveness that supported me to develop the following expressions, skills and parts of me as potentials within myself that I discovered, that emerged because of my relationship, application and living of Self Forgiveness.

If Self Forgiveness were a living being, this is what I would share:

“Thank you for strengthening me”

There were moments where I was confronted with emotional fears, anxieties and uncertainty – oftentimes making me feel as though “I can’t do this / that” / “I have never tried this/that – so therefore, it’s impossible” / “I’m not good enough for this / that”…essentially, walking Self Forgiveness in such moments, allowed me to break through barriers of limitations I accepted and allowed inside myself and discovered I am able to do things / get things done by transcending my own ideas / beliefs and emotional reactions about myself. Applying Self Forgiveness in such moments provided me initially with the strength to break through the impossible in my Mind into the possible within doing things / getting things done in reality – until eventually, this strength became natural within me and any moment an idea / belief / emotion of weakness / limitation / resistance would arise – I would move through it in a moment, assert myself and act.

So, the moment I forgave and released myself from the mental constructs and emotions…I came to discover a strength within myself that’s always been within me, but was suppressed by what I accepted and allowed in relation to certain thoughts and emotions.

“Thank you for making sure I don’t give up”

I have faced many moments in my process…and still sometimes do, where it felt like “I was not going anywhere” / “my process wasn’t mounting to anything” / “nothing was changing” / “the process seemed impossible”…I am sure many will be able to relate to such thoughts about various things in your life…where everything just looks and feels impossible. But, in these moments – with understanding how thoughts and emotions tend to cloud one’s commonsense and realistic / practical view of things, I would do Self Forgiveness, release myself from such thoughts and emotions, in this realising that: as long as I, inside myself, participate in such thoughts and emotions…I am CREATING it in my world, I am the one creating the impossible, creating the limitations / restrictions within myself because I keep on only looking through the eyes of emotions and impossibility…instead of focusing on creating SOLUTIONS to what I see…seeing through the eyes of SOLUTIONS.

So, the more I started applying Self Forgiveness in moments where I felt lost in the darkness of impossibility in my own Mind…I developed the skill of always, immediately, taking a breath when a problem comes my way and look at it in such a way inside myself where I immediately gear myself to look for / create a solution instead of falling into reactions / emotions in relation to the problem / challenge…

Therefore, the point of ‘giving up’ ceased to exist within me – it does ‘try’ and come up within me every once in a while, like the snake in the garden of Eden attempting to lure me into giving up…yet, with developing strength within myself to stand in the face of emotion within myself, I simply breathe and move myself to find / create solutions rather than giving into the idea / emotion of giving up in my Mind.

“Thank you for showing me there’s always a way out”

I have oftentimes faced the experience of “there’s no way out” / “there is no end” when it comes to facing problems / challenges…where it felt like I was spiralling within emotions inside myself and it looked like “everything is wrong” / “nothing is working”…I have found that I created this by trying to look at problems / challenges in my Mind WHILE I was in emotional reactions…not a good idea I came to realise!!! Because the moment you look at a problem / challenge in your own Mind, together with EMOTION…the more you THINK about the problem IN EMOTION…the worse it gets until it literally envelops you / your mind to such an extent, that you lose yourself in it and the moment you ‘lose yourself’ within it all…this is the moment that you create the illusion in the Mind of ‘there being no way out / no solution’.

So, when I finally realised that THINKING about problems WHILE IN EMOTION was only adding fuel to the fire within myself, I would start WRITING and mapping out problems for myself. While I would write the problem / map the problem to be able to LOOK at it with clarity, with perspective and I find that I was becoming emotional at any point: I would stop for a moment, breathe, forgive the emotion and then continue writing out / mapping the problem. Within this process, this allowed me to really GROUND MYSELF within, to stabilise myself and realise I was making the problem more than me inside my Mind. Meaning, I accepted and allowed the problem in itself to overpower my ability to create solutions, to come up with solutions, to direct problems / solve them for example. So, it’s an interesting realisation this – the moment you release the emotions and your stability, groundedness and clarity comes through to be able to tackle problems / challenges practically with confidence and certainty. Therefore, within this particular context – I came to realise that it only seemed like there was “never a way out / through a problem / challenge” because I was lost in the problem itself in the Mind and so I could not come out / come through to create a solution or ask for support / assistance from others!

In the next post I will continue with Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost, Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty and many more, to assist and support with understanding how the relationship you develop with yourself through Self Forgiveness and doing it genuinely, within self honesty assists and supports with discovering parts of yourself only you can gift to yourself through the tool of Self ForGIFTnes...

Why do we only Deal with Problems when it’s Too Late?: DAY 496

Planet – Plan-it – Plant (Part Three)

So, we’ll in the next post continue with having a look at the dimension of acceptance, automation and abdication of responsibility when ‘things go wrong’ in our mind-body relationship and our relationship to the world out there – especially why and how it is that we as a collective do not stand together / have evolved to a point where we can adjust our relationships and the systems in the world to unite to PREVENT what’s happening and find sustainable long-term solutions – but rather have gone into this acceptance of ‘things are generally wrong / bad’. We’re going to have a look at how this is one dimension separating us from our rootedness and responsibility to ourselves, each other and the world as a whole – uniting to develop this ecosystem of life on earth to the betterment of all and so ourselves.

If we have a look at our 3 primary realities: the Mind / Consciousness, the Physical Body and our Social Environment / the World System – there is a level of acceptance, automation and abdication of responsibility that exists within all three. In this post, we’re going to explore these 3 dimensions existent within the 3 realities, causing us to not be rooted in our being, body and physical existence within the principle of equality and oneness as what’s best for all; where we as beings, as bodies are not contributing to the ecosystem of the living organism(s) that is here – creating life instead of destroying it.

The Mind / Consciousness in relation to acceptance, automation and abdication of responsibility:

Acceptance:

We have come to ‘accept’ that we think, we react, we imagine and talk to ourselves in our Minds. “This is what it means to be human” we say, “This is how we know we exist” we say – but we’ll only ever question our thoughts and emotions when they lead to something ‘bad’ / ‘consequential’. Even then, we don’t necessarily look at the very existence of thoughts / emotions – but categorize it into a box as a ‘problem of human nature’ and then try and ‘live with it’ (psychology / psychiatry) or find methods / drugs to contain it / suppress it in some way or another (the medical / drug industries). From what we have observed with the human mind, most people in this world have evolved to ‘handle’ their thoughts and emotions better, others cannot and so similar thoughts / emotions would be acted out where the nature of the human mind becomes ‘visible’ in the physical and then becomes a ‘problem’ when they become a threat to themselves and others.

For example, most people have ‘violent thoughts’ – where in a flash of a moment they envision themselves hitting someone when they get angry at them, but it stays in the realms of the Mind. Others, they have ‘violent thoughts’ and act on them – the only difference between people is some can contain their Minds within, others cannot. It’s only when the Mind becomes VISIBLE that it now ‘becomes a problem’…when this should not be so. Just because some manages to keep it in – doesn’t mean that the problem doesn’t exist, it’s just that the problem cannot be seen, but the problem remains: who are we in our relationship to the Mind?

So, we have for a long time in human history only been dealing with the mind or trying to control it, once it spills over into living action. Again, we do the same with ourselves in our own lives – we don’t pay attention to our thoughts and emotions as long as they remain secret / hidden, but the moment they do become visible – it is often too late to really change oneself, one’s relationship to the Mind once it possess you and you embody it in your living action. For example, when looking at depression or having a ‘short temper’ – with the research we have done in our relationship to the thoughts and emotions, these / such conditions develop over TIME due to an accumulation and suppression of thoughts and emotions that eventually build in the mind and body, escalating over time to a point where depressive / anger-related thoughts and emotions eventually takes you over, leading to a mental and physical state / conditioning of a constant experience of depression / having a ‘short temper’.

So, the point here to become aware of is how we ‘Accept’ the Mind – the thoughts and emotions and everything else going on within us, because we’re never taking a moment to step back and really look at / investigate to UNDERSTAND the effects of our thoughts and emotions on our behaviour / self-experience. Very seldom do you really ever reflect on thoughts and emotions, because it’s just become an ‘accepted’ part of self – when all the while it is the very ‘accepted’ thoughts and emotions contributing to who you are, the decisions you make, how you behave, your state of mind, your general self-experience, the nature of your relationships in life, how you experience sex, why your life has been the way it is, why you are who / how you are today – I mean, everything and all that you are, do, say, experience- stems from thoughts and emotions when looking at your relationship to the Mind as a whole.

So, one of the main points when it comes to this dimension of ‘Acceptance’ is existent within the following questions:

Why have we come to ‘Accept’ that conflict between two people has to be thwarted with reactive thoughts, projections and emotions? Why is there not inherent in human nature the stability and commonsense to talk things through as equals and bring disagreements to a solution that’s best for both?

With having a look at the above point, many may answer “because that’s who we are and what we do”, when all the while it’s this very ‘Acceptance dimension’ that’s in fact speaking, because we have the potential to change ourselves, but we’ve been ‘arguing for our own limitations’ because we’ve accepted and so believed that these / such limitations exist that human nature cannot be changed. When, with the processes we’ve walked with Desteni – there are many individuals who have proven in their living application that this can change, the you and another can come together and talk things through as equals into a SOLUTION, with no reactive thoughts, projections and emotions needed…

Here is but ONE example, in the documents to continue I will bring through more examples of things of human nature as the Mind/Consciousness we have just come to ‘accept’ as long as it ‘stays inside the Mind’ and how this essentially brings to question whether we as people ever really properly investigated, researched and understood human consciousness – because as far as I can see, we have only ever tried to control it / contain it when it becomes ‘visible’…as long as it ‘stays out of sight’ in the physical world, we just ‘accept’ it…

We’ll continue more in the next post