A Dedication to SELF Forgiveness – my Guardian Angel (Part 2): DAY 498

  

In the next post I will continue with “Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost”, “Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty” and many more, to assist and support with understanding how the relationship you develop with yourself through Self Forgiveness and doing it genuinely, within self honesty assists and supports with discovering parts of yourself only you can gift to yourself through the tool of Self ForGIFTness

Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost

In the beginning of my process, becoming aware of my Mind, the thoughts and emotions - it was like everything intensified, could become so overwhelming where it felt like I was underneath waves crashing down on me with no opportunity to come up and breathe for air, not knowing what’s up, down, left or right inside myself. It is initially a shock when you become aware of how much you think and the extent to which thoughts generate emotions / feelings inside yourself…but at the same time, with understanding that it only seems so intense / overwhelming because you were never AWARE of / never LOOKED at your own thoughts / emotions – so, now with directly looking at them, it’s like you start seeing your thoughts and emotions everywhere within you, all of the time…

Sometimes within this experience inside myself, especially when I would be THINKING too much about something / someone and not actually write it out to look at it more constructively…I would very easily get lost in my thoughts and emotions. Lost meaning, where – I ‘forget’ to forgive myself, ‘forget’ to write it out, ‘forget’ to take a moment to breathe. So ‘losing myself’ in this context means where I lose that part of myself, my awareness to stabilise myself inside, to ground myself, to quiet myself as I spiral myself, my awareness into my thoughts and emotions into the experience of crying it out, collapsing on the bed crying, bundling up into a ball crying…like making myself ‘fall’ inside myself and completely giving into my thoughts and emotions. Then, once I cried out all the emotions and released all the energy inside myself through crying…the energy veil would drop, I would breathe and then look at the situation, speak to someone, talk it out and come to realise everything was not ‘the end of the world’ or as bad as my thoughts / emotions made it out to be.

Then, I would look back and ask myself “why didn’t I just breathe, forgive and let go from the BEGINNING?!?!?” I in the end ‘found myself’ again, ‘came back to myself’ once the emotions settled…so, why put myself through all that, all the intense, overwhelming, whirlwind thoughts and emotions and crying / collapsing when I could prevent that by just from the get-go breathe, forgive and ground/stabilise myself? So, we can lose ourselves for MOMENTS in thoughts / emotions the longer we stay in them, but we’re never “lost” – a part of our awareness is always present throughout it all…I realised that I just didn’t make the decision, I just didn’t move myself the MOMENT the thoughts and emotions started escalating inside myself to stop for a moment, to breathe, to forgive and then write it out / speak it out within someone.

So, after a couple of times of ‘losing and finding’ myself in this way, I HAD ENOUGH!!! and applied the principle of prevention to – whenever the thoughts / emotions started building inside myself, MOVE MYSELF to stop, to breathe, to FORGIVE the emotions and so settle myself / my awareness within myself and instead DIRECT the points inside myself with writing / speaking about it. This ‘movement’ of myself is where I in a moment REMIND myself “if I don’t breathe and forgive NOW…this is going to escalate and I am going to put myself through unnecessary turmoil”. So, it’s either me with AWARENESS releasing the emotions BEFORE they go out of control and build up inside myself to the point of losing myself inside myself for a moment…or the emotions take over and release themselves eventually through crying / collapsing inside myself…both directions eventually leading to the same outcome: I return to myself. So, I much rather direct myself with awareness, with forgiveness in the beginning than accepting and allowing myself to put myself through unnecessary turmoil…

Granted, there were moments and still are where I face thoughts and intense emotions that take over in a moment, so fast that it caught me ‘off-guard’ inside myself, but even though this happened – because I have practised in my Awareness so much, I can stop, breathe and forgive while I am in overwhelming thoughts / emotions…so it never got to the point where I would ‘lose myself for a moment’…my Awareness would be here, intact within myself – even able to immediately stop, breathe, forgive and direct in overwhelming turmoil of thoughts and emotions.

This is how self forgiveness and the application thereof assisted and supported me to be stable and grounded inside myself, even though things may seem impossible / lost, because a trust develops within yourself where you know that no matter what you’re facing, you’ll guide yourself through it and understand it and be able to resolve it within yourself through having yourself, your ‘guide’ as Self Forgiveness. Most importantly, how my writing, speaking and application of Self Forgiveness made me realise that I can stand in such a way within myself where I am not a victim to my own thoughts and emotions, I don’t have to ‘lose’ myself inside myself – I can stand up and direct my own thoughts and emotions in such way where it does not compromise me, what I experience, what I say and do.

In the next post, I will continue with “Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty” and “Thank you for showing me what it means to know myself, to understand myself”…

Also expanding more on how – with ‘losing yourself in moments’, such moments are opportunities to LEARN about yourself, to UNDERSTAND yourself as the Mind and so opportunities to grow, develop and expand your awareness even more…

We’ve got the past, present and future – also ‘The Now’, but what about HERE? Part 3 

DAY 427

From here, we can look at how we Spiritualize our own Minds. Again, seeing oneself standing in front of the Mirror, in and as the Mirror-itself seeing one’s Mind and everything one think/feel/see within/throughout one’s day/life. What we do when we Spiritualize our own Minds is - when standing in front of the Mirror, with the Mirror as our Minds externalized for purposes of this analogy to see/realise/understand what we do in relation to our own Minds/ourselves as ourselves: we would “emphasize, for example only the good/positive things” we see in the mirror. I’m sure many have for example see in movies/series where the person will stand in front of a lot of numbers and then they “identify a secret code” through seeing very specific numbers “popping up / standing out” and how it all comes together to form an equation / a specific numerical order. Well, we do exactly the same with the ‘Spiritual approach’ to our own Minds – it’s like we see it as series of numbers/platforms of numbers and we have to identify the positive/good secret/equation. So, what we do is - take memories/energy/words for example and only emphasize / ‘sift out of it’ what we WANT to experience as ONLY the good/positive/light and the rest is ‘shadowed out’.

So, returning to the Mirror analogy – what we do is, for example, seeing a memory in the mirror – then ‘highlighting in the memory’ only the good/positive/light and the rest of the memory is simply ‘shadowed out’ with like a black-marker pen, so the illusion is created that ONLY the ‘good/positive/light/love’ exist. It’s fascinating within this how such individuals can possess themselves with such a split in their own Minds/Consciousness with the belief that “because I focus on the good/positive/light/love – the opposite doesn’t exist AT ALL within me”; but it’s all in fact just suppressed into the mind and the body. Then this delusion goes so far as when/as they react in the negative/bad – it’s apparently “everyone else BUT themselves”, because they don’t realise that they themselves, are in fact responsible for their OWN REACTIONS in their mind and body – they just can’t see WHY or WHERE their own reactions comes from, because it was all ‘blacked out and suppressed’ into the depths of the mind and the physical body.

Within this, to consider is that: “one wasn’t born Spiritual” – this is a process that is programmed in through words and feelings, repeated in the mind as thoughts and imaginations until the being believes that “I am Love / I am Light”…when the mechanics of Consciousness is not understood within this regard when it comes to words and energy, emotions and feelings as the negative and positive and how this is used to create thoughts/imaginations and internal conversations to construct/program Personalities in Consciousness/the Mind only that has no relationship to/as Reality/the Physical – but actually using physicality/physical substance to produce emotional/feeling energy, thought, imaginations to create Personalities in the Mind/Consciousness. Thus, here again – returning to the Mirror-analogy: one can resource only SO MUCH positive/good/light and love energy/thoughts/imaginations from one’s own Mind/one’s own Past, but not enough to create an entire Personality from. Therefore, one have to become ‘creative’ and so what is done on the Mirror as is done in the Mind is additional colours is added, additional post-its with words are plastered onto the mirror, glitter is strewn all over the mirror; like a child covering up all the bad/negative/reactive things in the mind with beautiful things that is inserted/programmed in the mind such as the positive/good/light/love words/energies. And then it’s focused on absolutely, over an extended period of time to the point where the ‘Spiritual Personality’ that is created takes over to such an extent that the rest of the Personalities/content in the Mind is so suppressed, the being makes themselves believe that it doesn’t exist anymore and/or that it’s all ‘other people’s fault’ when the negative/bad is experienced in their Minds and Bodies.

Again here, the Spiritual-approach to our Minds is more evolved within the past-present-future equation (in the present, creating the future from the past). More evolved meaning: In the present, the past is taken from within/as the Mind and from it is only accessed/taken the ‘good/light/love/positive’ things and the rest suppressed deeper into the mind and the body to so attempt/try to create a future that is only of the ‘positive/light/love’-nature. ADDITIONALLY, within the present – MORE information/words/energy is programmed into the Mind/Consciousness to contribute to this idealized/imagined future. What are the consequences of this when it comes to “the here” and also our responsibility to the rest of humanity/this physical existence as a whole? We’ll continue with this in the next post.

The Creation Process of Consequence: DAY 350

In the previous Interview-post we had a look at the Quantification of Consequence within an individual and collective context and within that had a look at how we have been Dealing with Consequence, which was and has been to suppress it/deny it/ignore it. As we are doing that in our own minds = we’re doing that in the World System/ Money System as well, where - if we have a look at How Money is Created at the Sacrifice of Human Lives and almost everything/ all else within this Physical Existence and Consequence, Real Consequence is denied/ignored/suppressed/distributed and the attention is just more and more focused on the Positive or the ‘Good Feeling’/Experience, which is Money/Profit and the drive to compete/to survive. It’s fascinating within this that: from the World System/Money System context, especially if one have a look at the Elite minds as those With Money - the attention/ focus of one’s life is only on that Positive Relationship to Money and What Money Provides. There is no Reality Check or cross-reference in terms of at What Cost/at What Price from a Real Physical Consequential Perspective one’s lie Life With Money is created. We do the exact same in our Minds: where we’re Not seeing the Consequence that we’re creating in our own Minds/our Beingness/our Physical Body in the lives of other Human Beings/ this Physical Existence as a whole as we’re like basically only focusing on the Positive/ the Good Feelings and Experiences.

It’s interesting that, with really getting to know your Mind/your Consciousness: one will see how one within and throughout One Day - one will shift and change between the Positive and the Negative in the Mind and what’s more fascinating within that as well, is - how the small subtle seemingly ‘insignificant moments of the Positive’ kind of like completely overrides all the Negative. How did we get to such a point within our relationship to ourselves in our own Minds, even within this World System/Money System as a whole when we have look at how we’re living our Physical Lives where: these moments within and throughout our days/weeks/months/years like, for example Buying something or Owning/Possession some material object/product and/or going holidaying and stuff like that - those things , those little small things make almost the rest of your life ‘worth it’? Within that is the same with the ‘little things’ in our minds, those little Positive Moments / Experiences / Imaginations / Thoughts / Feelings that we have in small, seemingly insignificant, subtle moments within and throughout our day that that kind of makes a whole day of struggle ‘worth it.’ That’s essentially what we are tacitly implying in our Acceptance and Allowance of this dynamic between the Polarity of the Positive and the Negative - it’s not Explicit, it’s Implicit regarding what we are Accepting and allowing, because we are Not Changing the Negative/ we’re Not Changing the Consequences, we’re just kind of Reaching for those small moments of the Positive.

So, it’s fascinating how the Positive and Negative then really keeps one within this Possession, because we’re like in an ocean and we’re in the currents, we’re caught in the undercurrent and every so now and then we reach out for a breath – and that’s like those ‘small insignificant Positive moments’ and/or in your Physical Living within and throughout your day/week/month/year doing things that give one that ‘Positive High’ for a moment - and then one is in the undercurrents again. We’re constantly/continuously in the cycle of almost drowning to taking that breath and then back into drowning and taking that breath - every time we’re just trying to reach that Breath again as the Positive. Instead of going: “Wait, Stop - what am I doing here? Why am I not finding a Solution to get out of this cycle? Like swim out of the current, find land, stabilize myself” – So this is what we’re looking at within this Process: this dynamic between the Positive and the Negative is going to continue and escalate, because: imagine you are in this undercurrent trying to get this ‘Breath’ the whole time, you’re going to become tired and soon the Consequence is going to catch up – as we have also expressed in the previous Interview-post.

Within this I would really suggest - now speaking about this point of the Positive and the Negative, to have a listen to one of the Life Reviews that was walked recently and this woman really explained this dynamic so well in how for example, she was walking her Life Review and finding that for most part: she was in this Negativity/Negative Experience within her and that she would in moments go into a Positive High and then that Positive High would last for like a moment. She would’ve completely forgotten about how she experienced herself before, and so she walked basically her whole life constantly and continuously in that Polarity. Also what she found was how the Positive Energy would like ‘lagged’ inside the Mind, Being and Physical Body to create that Illusion of being happy/excited/feeling normal/okay for a period of time, but - how that was actually because of, from an Initial Reaction of experiencing a Positive Energy and then that Positive Energy will ‘hesitate’ in the Mind/the Being/Physical Body for a little bit and so that would create the illusion of Time, of Feeling ‘ordinary/ better/stable’ for an extended period of time, but It was Not really in fact Real.

So, I would really suggest having a listen to that Life Review because she explains it exceptionally well in the Illusion that Positive Energy create in relation to who we are and the extent to which it Determine and Control how we Experience ourselves and How we Live - and the extent to which our Consciousness actually Determine How we Feel. Meaning, she pose quite an interesting question like for example “Why is it that some days you can walk in nature and you see the same things like trees, plants, the environment and see for example a butterfly and you just kind of walk past. But, then the next day you’ll like suddenly See the butterfly and like have this Overwhelming Positive Energy reaction to it?” – So, why is there a Change all of a sudden when you’ve always seen the exact same thing actually? What suddenly activated within your mind to Now Feel something - so to find out how that works I would suggest investing in that Life Review.

With this, to Understand and to emphasize that it’s not like that with the Process of the Inversion of Consequence that anything is going to Change, but for Consequence becoming more and more Physical – and this was also another interesting point that was discussed in the Relationship Success Support Interview Series in relation to Love Energy, which is like a Positive Energy and how Consequence have accumulated and is being Physically lived out within this Physical Existence to such an extent that a Pure Energy is Not going to Solve the Problem that we’re facing on an individual and collective scale. Because, Love Energy is simply just that it’s still Only Energy, it’s still kind of Interdimensional, it’s something that you Feel/Experience and a Feeling/Experience is Not going to sort out what we’re facing on a collective scale within this Physical Existence. And essentially what’s being walked in the Relationship Success Support Interview Series is how to Make Love Practical, Visible, Physical in terms of something that can be Lived - and within that actually Change the circumstance of the Consequence that is Physically Manifested within this Existence. And explaining Why/How it is that Love has become just an Energy and Why/How it is that Consequence has become More Physical, because it’s what we’re currently living, it’s How we’re Living.

So - what’s explained within the Life Review Interview and the Relationship Success Support Interview, is essentially the Problem and Solution we’re facing with regards to Consequence - How/Why is the Process of Consequence manifesting? Meaning why/how is it that we’re so naturally preprogrammed to just immediately react to things? Why are we always so Reactive? Why don’t we exist with such a clear Mind or Awareness that we can Look at things Common Sensically and Always Consider Solutions for things instead of Reacting? Even Reaction in itself is Not something that it’s just ‘simple.’ You’ve got different Levels of Reaction: you’ve got Conscious Mind Reaction, Subconscious Mind Reactions, Unconscious Mind, Quantum Mind, Quantum Physical Reactions and then your Very Physical and Beingness Reactions to this World/reality, relationships, yourself. And this is another series that I would suggest: the Imagination Series that assist and support with our Reactive Minds, How to Assist and Support oneself from a Reactive mind to Becoming a Self-Directive Principle through Asserting oneself to See solutions to one’s relationship with self/others/this world/ this reality. To understand here thus that: the Power Source of Consequence is Separation. One can have a look at What it is that feeds Energy/ that feeds Reactions/ that feed Experiences in our Mind - is Separation. It’s when you’re separate from something/someone and in that Separation you have a judgment/idea/perception/belief and within that you are Creating Relationships to something/someone and basing those relationships on how you are Experiencing yourself to/towards them. It is quite frightening how much of our decisions that we make with regards to Who we are, is based on Energy instead of Real Common Sense Critical Reasoning and taking Reality into consideration - so we’re quite far taken from reality at this stage.

Within this what we’re going to thus open up with regards to this Process of Consequence that we’re walking to Understand the Multidimensional Nature of it is how through reactions on a Conscious/Subconscious/Unconscious/Quantum Mind/Quantum Physical and Physical Level we are producing more Consequence for ourselves, and how going into a Positive is a Reaction to the Negative – the Negative being a Reaction to Ourselves. So, it’s like ‘the Evolution of Reaction’ - Positive Energy and how/why that is Not a Solution to Consequence. Also getting more in-depth with regards to defining consequence in how it is that Consequences in itself came to exist based on how we had reacted ‘negatively’, if you will, to our Beingness/our Natures/our Inherent Nature. Then believing a solution to be: “Oh you know? I don’t really like how I feel/ experience myself/ someone else, it makes me feel like uncomfortable and not nice” – “Oh no! you know I made myself feel bad/ someone made me feel bad so now I want to feel better!” and then we went to the Positive and instead of investigating “Okay, I was stable and now I went into a Negative, how did that happen?” So we’re going to open up some interesting dimensions in relation to Consciousness and the Equation of Consequence in itself: how we are keeping our Minds and Life on Earth the way it is now with this Reactive Relationship that we have created – and How we are essentially thus just Reactive Beings, we just React instead of Stopping and Investigating and finding actual Real Solutions.

So, the Process through Consequence, essentially, is going to be Assisting and Supporting oneself to Stop Reacting and Start Finding Solutions. And this is also for those in relation to Desteni that say “But I want to have my Emotions and Feelings” - What you’re actually saying is that: You Want to Have your Reactions, You Want to Remain a Reactive Being – I mean we Can’t Continue like this just ‘Reacting’ to things. It’s the same in this World System/ Money System to the things that’s happening that’s being done to humans to everything/everyone in this Physical Existence, Everyone is just Reacting in their Minds instead of understanding Why things exist the way they do so that we can find Solutions.

Okay so, some more interesting interviews on their way as we slowly but surely open up How it is that we came to Create Consequence and Why Energy as positive Energy is in No Way going to Change the Problem that we’re Facing in this Real Physical Existence.