Consciousness existing in LIFE, but is not LIFE itself: DAY 501

Please refer to THIS POST for full context and understanding of this Self Forgiveness process as walked by beings from Heaven / The Afterlife through the Portal

Separating oneself from the physical, the physical body, this physical universe – all that is matter: 

NOTE: the self forgiveness here is done in the process us beings walked within and during the opening of The Portal , stretching from 2004 / 2005 to today– sharing the timeline of what made us realise to stand in the principle of equality and oneness and truly understanding the meaning of responsibility and support unto self and all as self.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, lifetime after lifetime – the moment after crossing over into the afterlife – NOT ONCE thank my physical body, this physical existence for seeing me through each lifetime.

Within this, I forgive myself that I within and throughout each lifetime – every evening before going to rest and every day upon awakening: did not exit and enter each day with deep gratitude and appreciation towards my physical body and this physical existence for its unconditional support, standing, giving, caring in the way of making life / being alive possible.

In fact, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give my body, this physical existence one iota of credence, honour, respect, love – unconditionally with looking back, throughout ALL my lifetimes, how I seldom ever even had a thought of consideration towards anything physical…

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how I, within and throughout each and every single lifetime on this earth – inadvertently blamed my body, this physical existence, ‘life itself’, for my lifetime experiences I’d walk into. Essentially thinking / believing the body / physical / ‘life’ was responsible for my  most challenging, difficult, traumatic events, situations, phases and moments I’d endure. Not ever realizing, seeing and understanding it was ME, MYSELF & I creating and manifesting the lifetime consequence and experiences I’d face: my life a true mirror, a real time living experience reflection of WHO I AM as a being as my total self definition.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever see, realise and understand how many varying gods, deities, entities, spiritualities, movements, religions, opinions and beliefs I bowed down to – not realizing, seeing, and understand it was the PHYSICAL, this PHYSICAL EXISTENCE and myself together with all other beings in this EXISTENCE HERE, TOGETHER AS ONE AND AS EQUAL walking our life processes…that I should have been ‘blaming’ myself for being blinded and veiled within my own self separation and inequality for not living with the awareness of what’s real, here: myself, the physical and this physical existence. In this trinity of me and so everyone else equally as me – we all together created and manifested the outcome of the world and the collective and so the personal outcomes of our own and one another’s.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to partake in the audacious thought of “but why didn’t the physical nor this physical existence stand up for me???” – once again, looking and blaming OUT THERE instead of asking the questions we blame others for unto ourselves and asking ourselves “but why didn’t we stand up for ourselves, our awareness, the best of ourselves and why do we still continue not doing so, even in the smallest of moments when it comes to simple thought, emotion, feeling etc. participation???”

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that while I was waiting and expecting the physical, this physical existence to save me, it has already been walking its process of self and life awareness, its self forgiveness and change process on the deep life source level. I have just not been privy to it because of my accepted and allowed participation in self inequality and separation…so while everything in this physical has been walking its process, I haven’t experienced and walked with because process doesn’t exist in inequality and separation, but here with awareness in the physical.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that the physical, this physical existence, ‘life itself’ within and as everything that is PHYSICAL: was the one carrying my being, UNCONDITONALLY supporting my being, holding my being in the HANDS of the Physical as LIFE / God itself…but I was blinded to this fact due to separating me from myself into consciousness. With this one act of separation – I separated me from LIFE itself in the physical, this physical existence and so could not SEE direct, KNOW eternally and FEEL deeply the oneness and equality and in fact share with this existence and how I have always been the master, the creator of me, my life, my experiences, and the consequence I would endure / have to face.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how one such act of self separation / inequality from my being into the Mind Consciousness System as a whole (which is continuing to this day, in every moment I act upon self separation / inequality the instance I accept and allow myself to participate in a thought, emotion, feeling etc. – anything OF the Mind) how one such an act of self separation / inequality without asserting myself, my stand, my HERE when I notice and know, through and through – that I am with awareness accepting and allowing myself to participate in inequality and CHOOSE to not do anything about it when I know I can: is living proof of how we’ve CHOSEN to create and continue existing as consciousness separation and inequality and not with and as LIFE AWARENESS as self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself – throughout all my lifetimes in this world and the next: choose consciousness before standing up for life as awareness as self, because of my own fear…rather remaining in captivity and ‘sticking to the program’ / living in the system than having the guts, courage and tenacity to stand alone, at first, and not give up in the name of and as life until all notice and see: if I can stand up, say NO MORE and CHANGE by CHOOSING LIFE as SELF AWARENESS EVERY MOMENT – so can you.

We’ll continue in the next post with opening the line of self forgiveness of why it is and has been ever so deliberate from each and all of us throughout our lifetimes, choosing to align with consciousness instead of life awareness – also proven by the extent to which we separated ourselves from the physical body, this physical existence and our equal and one responsibility unto ourselves and all.

Thank you for Supporting me to Understand Self Honesty: DAY 499

A Dedication to SELF Forgiveness – my Guardian Angel (Part 3)

In the next post, I will continue with “Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty” and “Thank you for showing me what it means to know myself, to understand myself”…

Also expanding more on how – with ‘losing yourself in moments’, such moments are opportunities to LEARN about yourself, to UNDERSTAND yourself as the Mind and so opportunities to grow, develop and expand your awareness even more…

Before I continue with the next two dedications, I would like to expand on the point of ‘losing yourself in moments’ in thoughts and emotions in your Mind, which I discussed in the previous blog.

Understand, you will ‘lose’ yourself in moments, this happens in the process of understanding the Mind – especially when you’re facing new thought- / reaction-patterns you haven’t yet faced / dealt with inside your Mind. Such ‘new’ things will often rise up from deeper dimensions in your mind / body. Process is like walking through layers within yourself, the moment you’ve walked through one layer, the next layer beneath it opens up and is it opens up…Pandora’s box reveals itself as the new thoughts / emotions and dimensions in your consciousness unveils itself, which often comes up quite intensely, overwhelming one in moments. So, even though you reach a point in your process / awareness where you’re able to direct mind constructs and energies effectively, it does so happen that points inside yourself ‘creep up’ unexpectedly and ‘catch you off-guard’; before you know it – you’re overwhelmed by thoughts / emotions and many other things inside yourself. When this happens – this represents a ‘new process’ inside yourself that’s emerging, but you’ll find you will be able to ground yourself, stabilise yourself much faster and introspect / investigate the new dimensions of thoughts / emotions to deal with / face and change within yourself.

The ‘problem’ only comes in when you continue doing the same thing over and over and not learn from it that it becomes deliberate – ‘cause you KNOW where a certain train of thought and reactions will lead you, yet do nothing to change it…and cycle in the same pattern over and over again. So, in such instances – best to identify why you’re ‘deliberately’ losing yourself in alternate realities and reactions in your Mind, assist and support yourself to stop and change these cycles…because only you can do it for yourself, no one else is existing in your own Mind but you.

However, there does come a time…in the future of one’s process, where one even stop being able to be ‘caught off-guard’ by your own mind. This is when you reach the quantum physical / physical dimensions of your process after having walked the conscious, subconscious, unconscious and quantum mind. Where you’re able to be aware of thoughts / energies trying to come up / move from within your mind / body and already stop participation before they come into creation. So, there’s still quite an fascinating process of awareness ahead when it comes to getting to know / understanding your own mind and body and the relationship between the two!

Let’s continue with the dedications:

“Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty”

Self honesty has been the most empowering, yet frightening thing I have faced within this process. In the beginning of my process – I struggled with the difference between ‘honesty’ and ‘self honesty’. I initially thought I had to be ‘honest’ with ‘everyone else’ – to always ‘speak my MIND’, speak exactly what I think and feel and this obviously coming from my initial starting point of believing ‘all that I am is my thoughts and emotions’. However, I had come to understand an interesting thing within my process when looking at the following question: “how can you really be ‘honest’ with everyone else, if you have not been honest with yourSELF? How can you understand what ‘speaking the truth’ means, if you have not been truthful with yourSELF? What does it mean to be honest with SELF, truthful with SELF?”

‘Speaking my Mind’ more often than not got me into a bit of trouble, speaking my thoughts as they came up and speaking the exact detail of my emotions and feelings; especially WHILE I was in thoughts and emotions…so I would literally ‘speak my Mind in real time, in the moment, immediately’. Most people did not respond well to this. So, I literally took ‘honesty’ as I understood it then – to the extreme. All it ended up leading to was creating more conflict inside myself and my relationships with other people – ‘honesty’ in no way brought me, nor my relationship with others to understanding, realisation, growth and expansion…

Now, some would think this to be a ‘commendable trait’ – being fearless to speak one’s Mind, which is also often termed to be ‘speaking the truth’. However – with understanding the difference between self honesty and honesty…one will understand how our current perception / definition of honesty epitomizes the separation from SELF we accept and allow in our relationship with the Mind, our thoughts and emotions/feelings. So, what I had come to learn about self honesty, the difference between this and honesty is already obvious when looking at the words: SELF honesty and honesty. With honesty – SELF is missing. Now, what does this mean? More importantly – why can Self Forgiveness only be applied within Self Honesty to really have an effect on one’s process of self change, self realisation and self expansion within this process from Consciousness to Awareness?

In the next post, I will continue with explaining how Self Forgiveness supported me to understand and face Self Honesty. Also, why ‘honesty’ still only keeps you locked into Consciousness – whereas Self Honesty expands your Awareness to be able to take that step back in your own Mind in relation to your own thoughts and emotions, to be able to understand how exactly your own mind, you within your own Mind operate…so, really – understanding Self Honesty through Self Forgiveness was an important key within my process from Consciousness to Awareness and breaking through the idea/belief I held of myself as ‘only being my thoughts and emotions’…when there’s in fact been so much more to me, to who I am and so each one of us.

Furthermore, I will share examples to illustrate the difference between self honesty and honesty – showing how self honesty leads to understanding and solutions, with honesty – more often than not leading to further friction / conflict…

A Dedication to SELF Forgiveness – my Guardian Angel (Part 2): DAY 498

  

In the next post I will continue with “Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost”, “Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty” and many more, to assist and support with understanding how the relationship you develop with yourself through Self Forgiveness and doing it genuinely, within self honesty assists and supports with discovering parts of yourself only you can gift to yourself through the tool of Self ForGIFTness

Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost

In the beginning of my process, becoming aware of my Mind, the thoughts and emotions - it was like everything intensified, could become so overwhelming where it felt like I was underneath waves crashing down on me with no opportunity to come up and breathe for air, not knowing what’s up, down, left or right inside myself. It is initially a shock when you become aware of how much you think and the extent to which thoughts generate emotions / feelings inside yourself…but at the same time, with understanding that it only seems so intense / overwhelming because you were never AWARE of / never LOOKED at your own thoughts / emotions – so, now with directly looking at them, it’s like you start seeing your thoughts and emotions everywhere within you, all of the time…

Sometimes within this experience inside myself, especially when I would be THINKING too much about something / someone and not actually write it out to look at it more constructively…I would very easily get lost in my thoughts and emotions. Lost meaning, where – I ‘forget’ to forgive myself, ‘forget’ to write it out, ‘forget’ to take a moment to breathe. So ‘losing myself’ in this context means where I lose that part of myself, my awareness to stabilise myself inside, to ground myself, to quiet myself as I spiral myself, my awareness into my thoughts and emotions into the experience of crying it out, collapsing on the bed crying, bundling up into a ball crying…like making myself ‘fall’ inside myself and completely giving into my thoughts and emotions. Then, once I cried out all the emotions and released all the energy inside myself through crying…the energy veil would drop, I would breathe and then look at the situation, speak to someone, talk it out and come to realise everything was not ‘the end of the world’ or as bad as my thoughts / emotions made it out to be.

Then, I would look back and ask myself “why didn’t I just breathe, forgive and let go from the BEGINNING?!?!?” I in the end ‘found myself’ again, ‘came back to myself’ once the emotions settled…so, why put myself through all that, all the intense, overwhelming, whirlwind thoughts and emotions and crying / collapsing when I could prevent that by just from the get-go breathe, forgive and ground/stabilise myself? So, we can lose ourselves for MOMENTS in thoughts / emotions the longer we stay in them, but we’re never “lost” – a part of our awareness is always present throughout it all…I realised that I just didn’t make the decision, I just didn’t move myself the MOMENT the thoughts and emotions started escalating inside myself to stop for a moment, to breathe, to forgive and then write it out / speak it out within someone.

So, after a couple of times of ‘losing and finding’ myself in this way, I HAD ENOUGH!!! and applied the principle of prevention to – whenever the thoughts / emotions started building inside myself, MOVE MYSELF to stop, to breathe, to FORGIVE the emotions and so settle myself / my awareness within myself and instead DIRECT the points inside myself with writing / speaking about it. This ‘movement’ of myself is where I in a moment REMIND myself “if I don’t breathe and forgive NOW…this is going to escalate and I am going to put myself through unnecessary turmoil”. So, it’s either me with AWARENESS releasing the emotions BEFORE they go out of control and build up inside myself to the point of losing myself inside myself for a moment…or the emotions take over and release themselves eventually through crying / collapsing inside myself…both directions eventually leading to the same outcome: I return to myself. So, I much rather direct myself with awareness, with forgiveness in the beginning than accepting and allowing myself to put myself through unnecessary turmoil…

Granted, there were moments and still are where I face thoughts and intense emotions that take over in a moment, so fast that it caught me ‘off-guard’ inside myself, but even though this happened – because I have practised in my Awareness so much, I can stop, breathe and forgive while I am in overwhelming thoughts / emotions…so it never got to the point where I would ‘lose myself for a moment’…my Awareness would be here, intact within myself – even able to immediately stop, breathe, forgive and direct in overwhelming turmoil of thoughts and emotions.

This is how self forgiveness and the application thereof assisted and supported me to be stable and grounded inside myself, even though things may seem impossible / lost, because a trust develops within yourself where you know that no matter what you’re facing, you’ll guide yourself through it and understand it and be able to resolve it within yourself through having yourself, your ‘guide’ as Self Forgiveness. Most importantly, how my writing, speaking and application of Self Forgiveness made me realise that I can stand in such a way within myself where I am not a victim to my own thoughts and emotions, I don’t have to ‘lose’ myself inside myself – I can stand up and direct my own thoughts and emotions in such way where it does not compromise me, what I experience, what I say and do.

In the next post, I will continue with “Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty” and “Thank you for showing me what it means to know myself, to understand myself”…

Also expanding more on how – with ‘losing yourself in moments’, such moments are opportunities to LEARN about yourself, to UNDERSTAND yourself as the Mind and so opportunities to grow, develop and expand your awareness even more…