How we use Relationships to Suppress the ‘Real Self’: DAY 484
The Moment of Shock
Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Six)
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see, realise and understand how we in fact develop more ‘mental
relationships’ with others, than actual real, physical relationships – where
our relationship with others is more based on how the other ‘makes you feel’ / ‘not
feel’ than actual real communication, expansion / growth in relation to who we
are as individuals within/as our behaviour / living.
Before we continue with the Self Forgiveness process – let me
clarify / explain the difference between ‘Mental Relationships’ and ‘Physical
Relationships’:
If you have a look at
the relationships you’ve had: all the words, behaviours are geared to initiate
feelings in each other – making each other feel loved, special, appreciated,
cared for, secure, safe, stable and the list can go on. You can for yourself have
a look at what you do for your partner / what your partner does for you and HOW
exactly it is done to make you / them FEEL something. So, we’re in
relationships playing this game with FEELINGS – is this really all that relationships
are about??? This is what I mean with ‘mental relationships’ – we play MIND
GAMES with each other and with ourselves, playing on each other’s and our own
emotions / feelings. Both trying to, essentially, maintain a ‘happiness’ –
keeping each other ‘happy’. It’s like feelings becomes this drug that both
parties need to inject into each other through words / behaviour over and over
and over again just to let each other know “hey, I still love you” – there is
not this constant knowing / understanding / standing between the two, this
ABSOLUTE certainty that the relationship is solid, there is never ABSOLUTE
trust within/between the individuals that they’re committed to each other –
because both have to constantly and continuously ‘remind’ themselves and each
other that the relationship is still “good / okay” by playing with each other’s
feelings.
So, what’s really
going on behind this all? If you have a look at ‘mainstream relationships’ – of
constantly having to remind each other that the relationship is still ‘good /
okay / going strong’; when there is a change in one or the other – not saying “I
love you” enough, not DOING enough to entice ‘good feelings’ in the mind/body
where the injection of the ‘positive energy drug’ through words and behaviour
become less and less: what emerge in the minds of individuals is insecurity,
fear, jealousy, isolation, separation, loneliness, loss – all these ‘negative’
thoughts and emotions starts coming up in the back of the Mind. What this is
showing is: as long as the individuals in relationships keep ‘activating’
positive feelings/experiences in each other through words and behaviour – the negative
emotions/experiences are suppressed. They must be in ‘suppression’
within/during the initial beginning stages of the relationship, because as soon
as the ‘positive feelings/experiences’ stop being activated…WHAM, the negative
emotions/experiences come to the fore. So, this brings to question the actual
nature and starting point as REASON / PURPOSE for relationships and how this
nature / starting point contribute to the compromising effects the loss /
separation of / from a ‘loved one’ has on us mentally as well as physically.
If you self honestly
have a look at relationships – what fuels it is the starting point of ‘fear of
loneliness’ / ‘fear of growing old alone’ / ‘fear of not experiencing ‘love /
sex’’ / being incomplete/unfulfilled / unsatisfied / no passion / no ‘reason to
live’ – so, essentially, what is important for you to investigate is the very
starting point / nature of WHY you desire relationships. Because in this – you are
going to find, for yourself, what relationships has been ‘giving TO you’ that
you haven’t given/gifted to yourself. What you are going to find is what you
have been depending on relationships for, to fulfil / complete / make whole
within yourself – which you haven’t done for yourself. So, if our starting
point for relationships is the NEGATIVE – where we are expecting / depending on
the relationship / the other to suppress the things we’re trying to ‘make
better’ / ‘not have to deal with’ / not have to experience / face inside our
Minds, then we’re looking at the principle of “if you know the beginning –you know
the end”. Meaning: with the relationships’ very PURPOSE being for us to ‘get
away from’ our actual negative emotions / experiences, to SUPPRESS these things
– it will eventually COME BACK, RE-EMERGE; because we have NEVER in fact DEALT
with the emotions / negative experiences. The relationship only SUPPRESSED them
all. Then, when the time comes where the relationship breaks off – through death
/ separation, EVERYTHING we suppressed within/during the relationship comes
back and it comes back with a vengeance which affects us mentally and
physically. This is why we have like a TOTAL mental and physical break-down
that happens; because the ‘positive energy injections’ that for so long
suppressed our real, true self experience is no more there and we are once more
confronted and left with our ‘real selves’ that is almost ‘too much to take /
handle’.
In the next post and posts to come – we will continue with
the Self Forgiveness Process, focusing on that initial real purpose for/of
relationship, what Negative things were covered up / suppressed by the Positive
things experienced / that was dependent on the relationship and how this
creates MENTAL-RELATIONSHIPS, and what would REAL PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIPS be
if/as our starting point for relationships was not based on emotional/feeling
energy, but two individuals walking / living as EQUALS.
