When the promise of Relationship activates instant Metamorphosis:
DAY 431
In the recent Relationship
Success Support interview (will be available on EQAFE
this Sunday/next Wednesday) – an interesting point opened up with regards to
how we would (and the extent to which we would) ‘change ourselves for
Relationship’ / the prospect of Relationship.
One of the first points mentioned is how, within the
media/magazines for example you get the “what to do/wear and what not to
do/wear for the first date”, or “what put men off from women and what put women
off from men”, or “what are women looking for in a man and what is a man
looking for in a woman”. It’s interesting here that some people take such
things as ABSOLUTES, like these are the views held by ALL women or by ALL men…when,
this is not in fact so. I mean, the lists weren’t made by asking all the
billions of people available out there / in relationships already. However,
some take it as absolutes and follow such lists as Religion – changing themselves
DRASTICALLY just to secure a relationship, but never realising that the real
you is eventually going to show/come out. Just changing yourself for the
beginning stages of the relationship is Not going to change ALL of you…and then
people wonder why relationships don’t work out….
Then, another fascinating point that many may be able to
relate to was opened up with asking the question “Why do we Fear ‘being
comfortable with who we are/in our own skin’ – essentially showing the prospective
partner “this is who I am”, but instead CHANGE and
HIDE a lot about ourselves when it initially comes to the relationship”? So, a
dimension opened up here – showing how: when you’re in school and you see the
boys/girls starting relationships and you don’t, and then start comparing you
to those that ARE in relationships and then wonder “what is wrong with ME that
I’m not in a relationship/someone isn’t interested in me!” When, the following
commonsensical points are not considered: you’re in a SCHOOL
with a limited amount of people, thus, certain people are during that time more
in alignment with others that are already in the school – the person that you
may during that time have been more aligned with was not in your school. And
then we as teenagers take that context within/during school and think “there’s
something wrong with us because WE weren’t in earlier relationships” when it
had NOTHING to do with oneself per say, but that you were in a school with a
limited amount of people. And people STILL live with those memories and let
such memories define them, and now change themselves for relationships because
they believe who/how they are isn’t enough, because it apparently wasn’t enough
when they were in school.
The interview explores this process
of why/how we change for relationships, why/how we become so self-conscious
when it comes to relationships and why we don’t allow ourselves to just be
comfortable with ourselves – already from the get-go being able to say/show to
the person “this is who/how I am – do you want to share this time/our lives
together?” – you know, that you already from the get-go know where you stand
with you/who you are…how would the experience of the relationship change then?
We’d within this also suggest investigating the ‘Relationship to
Agreement’ Course available in Desteni
I Process – assisting and supporting with how to establish a relationship
to self and so with another where you know where you stand with you/each other
and can walk together as EQUALS and learn from each other and grow, instead of
compromising oneself for relationships that only lead to self-consequence / consequential
relationship.
