Consciousness existing in LIFE, but is not LIFE itself: DAY 501

Please refer to THIS POST for full context and understanding of this Self Forgiveness process as walked by beings from Heaven / The Afterlife through the Portal

Separating oneself from the physical, the physical body, this physical universe – all that is matter: 

NOTE: the self forgiveness here is done in the process us beings walked within and during the opening of The Portal , stretching from 2004 / 2005 to today– sharing the timeline of what made us realise to stand in the principle of equality and oneness and truly understanding the meaning of responsibility and support unto self and all as self.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, lifetime after lifetime – the moment after crossing over into the afterlife – NOT ONCE thank my physical body, this physical existence for seeing me through each lifetime.

Within this, I forgive myself that I within and throughout each lifetime – every evening before going to rest and every day upon awakening: did not exit and enter each day with deep gratitude and appreciation towards my physical body and this physical existence for its unconditional support, standing, giving, caring in the way of making life / being alive possible.

In fact, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give my body, this physical existence one iota of credence, honour, respect, love – unconditionally with looking back, throughout ALL my lifetimes, how I seldom ever even had a thought of consideration towards anything physical…

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how I, within and throughout each and every single lifetime on this earth – inadvertently blamed my body, this physical existence, ‘life itself’, for my lifetime experiences I’d walk into. Essentially thinking / believing the body / physical / ‘life’ was responsible for my  most challenging, difficult, traumatic events, situations, phases and moments I’d endure. Not ever realizing, seeing and understanding it was ME, MYSELF & I creating and manifesting the lifetime consequence and experiences I’d face: my life a true mirror, a real time living experience reflection of WHO I AM as a being as my total self definition.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever see, realise and understand how many varying gods, deities, entities, spiritualities, movements, religions, opinions and beliefs I bowed down to – not realizing, seeing, and understand it was the PHYSICAL, this PHYSICAL EXISTENCE and myself together with all other beings in this EXISTENCE HERE, TOGETHER AS ONE AND AS EQUAL walking our life processes…that I should have been ‘blaming’ myself for being blinded and veiled within my own self separation and inequality for not living with the awareness of what’s real, here: myself, the physical and this physical existence. In this trinity of me and so everyone else equally as me – we all together created and manifested the outcome of the world and the collective and so the personal outcomes of our own and one another’s.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to partake in the audacious thought of “but why didn’t the physical nor this physical existence stand up for me???” – once again, looking and blaming OUT THERE instead of asking the questions we blame others for unto ourselves and asking ourselves “but why didn’t we stand up for ourselves, our awareness, the best of ourselves and why do we still continue not doing so, even in the smallest of moments when it comes to simple thought, emotion, feeling etc. participation???”

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that while I was waiting and expecting the physical, this physical existence to save me, it has already been walking its process of self and life awareness, its self forgiveness and change process on the deep life source level. I have just not been privy to it because of my accepted and allowed participation in self inequality and separation…so while everything in this physical has been walking its process, I haven’t experienced and walked with because process doesn’t exist in inequality and separation, but here with awareness in the physical.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that the physical, this physical existence, ‘life itself’ within and as everything that is PHYSICAL: was the one carrying my being, UNCONDITONALLY supporting my being, holding my being in the HANDS of the Physical as LIFE / God itself…but I was blinded to this fact due to separating me from myself into consciousness. With this one act of separation – I separated me from LIFE itself in the physical, this physical existence and so could not SEE direct, KNOW eternally and FEEL deeply the oneness and equality and in fact share with this existence and how I have always been the master, the creator of me, my life, my experiences, and the consequence I would endure / have to face.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how one such act of self separation / inequality from my being into the Mind Consciousness System as a whole (which is continuing to this day, in every moment I act upon self separation / inequality the instance I accept and allow myself to participate in a thought, emotion, feeling etc. – anything OF the Mind) how one such an act of self separation / inequality without asserting myself, my stand, my HERE when I notice and know, through and through – that I am with awareness accepting and allowing myself to participate in inequality and CHOOSE to not do anything about it when I know I can: is living proof of how we’ve CHOSEN to create and continue existing as consciousness separation and inequality and not with and as LIFE AWARENESS as self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself – throughout all my lifetimes in this world and the next: choose consciousness before standing up for life as awareness as self, because of my own fear…rather remaining in captivity and ‘sticking to the program’ / living in the system than having the guts, courage and tenacity to stand alone, at first, and not give up in the name of and as life until all notice and see: if I can stand up, say NO MORE and CHANGE by CHOOSING LIFE as SELF AWARENESS EVERY MOMENT – so can you.

We’ll continue in the next post with opening the line of self forgiveness of why it is and has been ever so deliberate from each and all of us throughout our lifetimes, choosing to align with consciousness instead of life awareness – also proven by the extent to which we separated ourselves from the physical body, this physical existence and our equal and one responsibility unto ourselves and all.

A Dedication to SELF Forgiveness – my Guardian Angel (Part 2): DAY 498

  

In the next post I will continue with “Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost”, “Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty” and many more, to assist and support with understanding how the relationship you develop with yourself through Self Forgiveness and doing it genuinely, within self honesty assists and supports with discovering parts of yourself only you can gift to yourself through the tool of Self ForGIFTness

Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost

In the beginning of my process, becoming aware of my Mind, the thoughts and emotions - it was like everything intensified, could become so overwhelming where it felt like I was underneath waves crashing down on me with no opportunity to come up and breathe for air, not knowing what’s up, down, left or right inside myself. It is initially a shock when you become aware of how much you think and the extent to which thoughts generate emotions / feelings inside yourself…but at the same time, with understanding that it only seems so intense / overwhelming because you were never AWARE of / never LOOKED at your own thoughts / emotions – so, now with directly looking at them, it’s like you start seeing your thoughts and emotions everywhere within you, all of the time…

Sometimes within this experience inside myself, especially when I would be THINKING too much about something / someone and not actually write it out to look at it more constructively…I would very easily get lost in my thoughts and emotions. Lost meaning, where – I ‘forget’ to forgive myself, ‘forget’ to write it out, ‘forget’ to take a moment to breathe. So ‘losing myself’ in this context means where I lose that part of myself, my awareness to stabilise myself inside, to ground myself, to quiet myself as I spiral myself, my awareness into my thoughts and emotions into the experience of crying it out, collapsing on the bed crying, bundling up into a ball crying…like making myself ‘fall’ inside myself and completely giving into my thoughts and emotions. Then, once I cried out all the emotions and released all the energy inside myself through crying…the energy veil would drop, I would breathe and then look at the situation, speak to someone, talk it out and come to realise everything was not ‘the end of the world’ or as bad as my thoughts / emotions made it out to be.

Then, I would look back and ask myself “why didn’t I just breathe, forgive and let go from the BEGINNING?!?!?” I in the end ‘found myself’ again, ‘came back to myself’ once the emotions settled…so, why put myself through all that, all the intense, overwhelming, whirlwind thoughts and emotions and crying / collapsing when I could prevent that by just from the get-go breathe, forgive and ground/stabilise myself? So, we can lose ourselves for MOMENTS in thoughts / emotions the longer we stay in them, but we’re never “lost” – a part of our awareness is always present throughout it all…I realised that I just didn’t make the decision, I just didn’t move myself the MOMENT the thoughts and emotions started escalating inside myself to stop for a moment, to breathe, to forgive and then write it out / speak it out within someone.

So, after a couple of times of ‘losing and finding’ myself in this way, I HAD ENOUGH!!! and applied the principle of prevention to – whenever the thoughts / emotions started building inside myself, MOVE MYSELF to stop, to breathe, to FORGIVE the emotions and so settle myself / my awareness within myself and instead DIRECT the points inside myself with writing / speaking about it. This ‘movement’ of myself is where I in a moment REMIND myself “if I don’t breathe and forgive NOW…this is going to escalate and I am going to put myself through unnecessary turmoil”. So, it’s either me with AWARENESS releasing the emotions BEFORE they go out of control and build up inside myself to the point of losing myself inside myself for a moment…or the emotions take over and release themselves eventually through crying / collapsing inside myself…both directions eventually leading to the same outcome: I return to myself. So, I much rather direct myself with awareness, with forgiveness in the beginning than accepting and allowing myself to put myself through unnecessary turmoil…

Granted, there were moments and still are where I face thoughts and intense emotions that take over in a moment, so fast that it caught me ‘off-guard’ inside myself, but even though this happened – because I have practised in my Awareness so much, I can stop, breathe and forgive while I am in overwhelming thoughts / emotions…so it never got to the point where I would ‘lose myself for a moment’…my Awareness would be here, intact within myself – even able to immediately stop, breathe, forgive and direct in overwhelming turmoil of thoughts and emotions.

This is how self forgiveness and the application thereof assisted and supported me to be stable and grounded inside myself, even though things may seem impossible / lost, because a trust develops within yourself where you know that no matter what you’re facing, you’ll guide yourself through it and understand it and be able to resolve it within yourself through having yourself, your ‘guide’ as Self Forgiveness. Most importantly, how my writing, speaking and application of Self Forgiveness made me realise that I can stand in such a way within myself where I am not a victim to my own thoughts and emotions, I don’t have to ‘lose’ myself inside myself – I can stand up and direct my own thoughts and emotions in such way where it does not compromise me, what I experience, what I say and do.

In the next post, I will continue with “Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty” and “Thank you for showing me what it means to know myself, to understand myself”…

Also expanding more on how – with ‘losing yourself in moments’, such moments are opportunities to LEARN about yourself, to UNDERSTAND yourself as the Mind and so opportunities to grow, develop and expand your awareness even more…

Suicide Paranoia – 16: Suicide and Blame (Part 3) DAY 402

 Featured Artwork by Kelly Posey

In this Post, we’re going to open up the Relationship between Suicide Paranoia and Blame more, with looking at Blame in the context/nature of Anger/Spite/Revenge to/towards something/someone else – to see, realise and understand the futility and consequence of accepting and allowing such a Relationship to something/someone in one’s own Mind to ‘haunt’ one into and as giving up / giving in / ending oneself / one’s life/living experience:

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how, in my Mind, I can make myself believe that – through “Blaming” someone/something for my own reactions/experience, and Imagine within that Blame how I’d take revenge/spite them to ‘get back at them in some way or another’ – even take it so far as considering taking ‘my own life’; that within this all I can make myself believe that this will in ANY way make anything ‘right’ / ‘fix what had happened’ / ‘would change me/the other person’; existing within the belief that “If I hurt them as much as they hurt me – we’re even”. In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how in such instances – no-one learns anything, no Awareness/Understanding exists of how matters unfolded to lead one’s own Mind to considering Suicide to spite/compromise/take revenge onto/towards something/someone else. Therefore, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider within this all, that those that ‘did / say what they have done/spoken’ do not/cannot fully comprehend the consequences of their words/actions and so in that, is their responsibility yes – however, what is my Responsibility is how I REACT to it in MY MIND and how I, for myself, create who I am in relationship to them.

Where, I commit myself to show that – we Humans have no consideration/regard for anything/anyone else but ourselves. No-one takes into consideration/regard the extent to which simple words/actions can affect/influence another’s Mind/Self/Life/Living Experience. Therefore, with for example instances where someone said/did something that deeply affected another’s Mind/Self – the responsibility exist in both, in that: the one that spoke/acted, should have taken responsibility in considering their words/deeds in relationship to others, and the one who reacted, is responsible for how their Mind process the words/behaviour. And because in Humanity – human beings aren’t educated in relation to Life/Living/Relationship/Communication Skills AS WELL AS how their Minds/Consciousness process information/words/behaviour through emotional/feeling reactions and how that can lead to Paranoia if not understood/directed: we now have a world/reality where simple moments of words/actions and reactions to it all  -can cost Lives.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that: I am accepting and allowing myself to HOLD ONTO the MEMORY of what happened in relationship to what something/someone did/say – that I am Reliving in my OWN MIND, and in so-doing, in fact making the moment MORE AND MORE POWERFUL in my own Mind to the extent where the Memory will become “more real/important/valuable” than anything/anyone else in my present world – even myself. In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how this Proves in terms of accepting and allowing but a MEMORY to have more power over/of us, how instantaneously / immediately ONE MEMORY can possess us and so determine who we are, how we feel/behave and according experience our life/living. How this illustrate that in our Minds, we have no “stand” / “Firm Standing” in/as “Who I Am” – that stand to such an extent, where – no matter what anyone says/does – self remain stable/standing in/as this ‘Who I Am’. But, because there is not such a stand, and humans just automatically believe whatever comes up in the Mind, whatever emotions/feeling is experienced in the Mind and accordingly accept/allow it to affect/influence/determine the ‘who I am’ in every moment of breath without realising/seeing/understanding how such thoughts/imaginations/feelings/emotions are created in the first place between the Mind-Physical Relationship: ALL of this lead individuals then to become possessed by a memory/remembrance, a person in the Mind and their reaction to it that can lead to/as them wanting to / even actually taking their own life – all created in the Mind through thought and energy that can actually be stopped by/through a simple decision and process of Understanding the development of Self-Awareness and stopping/changing the Mind/Consciousness.

I commit myself to show that, the problem we’re facing with Suicide / even the consideration thereof in the Mind when it does come up – even to the extent of wanting to/intending to do it out of Blame within the starting point of Revenge/Anger/Spite: all trace back to the fact that Humans don’t understand how the Mind/Consciousness works and how one can change one’s relationship to thought/imagination/reaction and not accept/allow oneself to just believe it/accept it/allow it to control / determine who one is/how one live.

Within this, we suggest investigating Desteni, Desteni I Process LITE, the 7 Year Journey to Life Blogs as well as EQAFE – the material and self support/assistance processes will assist and support one with UNDERSTANDING the Mind, the thoughts/memories/imaginations and reactions, learn how to in and as Self AWARENESS – DIRECT what comes up in the Mind into Solutions, to no more accept/allow self to be haunted/possessed by one’s own Mind and Energies within it, and actually see/realise/understand how much more there is to self/life/living beyond the Paranoia / Energy Veil of/as Consciousness.