Fear of Commitment (Part Three): DAY 441

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 5)

So, we’ll continue in the next post with having a look at what it says about ourselves with accepting/allowing our WANTS, in the small and big scales – to have precedence over our will, our commonsense, our integrity regarding who we are as a person within ourselves, and questioning whether the point is in fact about ‘fear of commitment’ or is that simply the ‘nice way we’ve found to hide the truth’: we’re putting our wants/desires before what would best for ourselves and life on earth?

Solution and Reward

In and from this post we’re going to, through walking Self Forgiveness,  explore ‘Fear of Commitment’ and why/how it is, in fact, simply a ‘nice way we’ve found to hide the truth’: we’re putting our wants/desires before what would best for ourselves and life on earth. Subtleties

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, throughout my life, ever question or investigate why/how it is that in my ‘awareness’ / ‘conscious thinking processes’ – I have never really considered my relationship/responsibility to/as everything and everyone within this physical existence. 

I commit myself to assist and support myself to ‘expand my awareness’, to ‘expand my world’ – both internally and externally, meaning: to introspect/investigate (with the result of understanding my inner world, my consciousness), how it is that I in fact operate/function within thoughts, imagination and reactions - how they exist/why they exist, what are their relationship to my physical body etc. To within this process – also assist and support myself to expand into/as my outer world / the global consciousness, humanity/this world system and money system. Because I see/realise/understand that we all say “I want to change” / “I want to change my life” / “I wish this world would change”…but we never question: “how can we expect change, if we do not fully understand/comprehend how we got to who we are in our Minds and how we got to how we are as humanity and life on earth to exist as it does?” Without understanding the full-extent of the problem/consequence in the Mind and in this World – we cannot see/create an effective Solution to stop/change the Problem/Consequence.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider, see, realise and understand that if I was not ‘shown’, if I was not assisted and supported to see my relationship and so my responsibility to everything/everyone: I would never have noticed the point for myself / by myself alone.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to educate myself in relation to my internal and external world/realities – the “within and without”, for I have been shown and I looked and so could see for myself how the Mind works, the consequence of its existence in relation to who I am and how/what I live and within this also proven to myself that I can change. I have been shown, I looked and so could see for myself how the World System/Money System works, the consequence of its existence in relation to humanity/this physical existence and within this problem – solutions for how it can be changed. That, I have seen/realised and understood with investigating/introspecting problems/consequence and UNDERSTANDING them – comes the opportunity to find/establish Solutions. We individually/collectively have not been able to see/consider solutions – because we have not been willing to in fact investigate the extent of the problem/consequence we face within ourselves and so within this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to within this see, realise and understand to what extent my Mind/me within and as it was “closed, isolated and separated” from everything/everyone else within this existence – to the extent where I would not have within and as my existent thinking-processes/reasoning skills been able to question and so investigate ‘who I am within me/my life and my relationship to all that is here’. Therefore exposing the extent to which our thinking/reasoning and even seeing/consideration and regard for ourselves and others is limited/locked-in and caged into and as the confines of our own Consciousness – not leaving any room/space for anything/anyone other than our own Self Interest of wants, needs and desires.

I commit myself to assist and support self to change myself from Consciousness-confinement in the Mind, to and as expanding my Self-Awareness into and as Physical equality and oneness – within this process, to see/realise/understand how ‘oneness’ already exist in that we’re all physically here in this physical existence, however Equality within that Oneness does not yet exist, because we’re all individually separate in our own Minds/Consciousness – competing for our wants, self-interest and greed instead of sharing, consideration/regard and giving to others as we would to ourselves. Therefore, I commit myself to assist and support myself to practically in moments where I see I am thinking only of MY WANT and not what is best for everyone – to stop and change, to become more aware of the consequence MY WANTS create not only for me, but for others as well.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand – what it says about me, my nature, my “who I am” that I for so long within my life lived in such a “closed-off, isolated and separate world in my Mind”, where nothing and no one else in fact existed but “me, myself and I” – what it says about the Nature of me/most of us with such a relationship/consideration/responsibility to ourselves and so to all, that would not have existed and now only exist because it was shown to us…

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that – if I was not shown, if I did not make the decision to LOOK and investigate when I was shown the relationship/responsibility and consequence of my relationship to me and so all: that I would never have thought of it, I would never have considered it and I would simply have been one and the same with the masses of humanity that only live ourselves/our lives in alignment to our wants, needs and desires.

I commit myself to show others, as I have been shown, the consequence of Consciousness/the Mind and the separation it has created from ourselves, each other and the oneness within/as this physical existence. I commit myself to show others, as I have been shown, the consequence of the World System/Money System and the separation it has created within humanity and all living beings within the oneness of/as this physical existence. Within this, I commit myself to – with showing the consequence/problems with the within and without: to show the Solution that is ourselves, that is how we live and the relationships we develop with ourselves and each other. I commit myself to be here, to stand here in/as my words for those who decide to LOOK for themselves, to investigate/introspect for themselves through Desteni, EQAFE and DIP and not just immediately react in opinions/judgments – but take the time/breaths to investigate/introspect/research/read and watch what we show, to so learn/educate themselves as we have to see/realise and understand for self how we can change ourselves and through that change how we live and eventually change life on earth.

We’ll continue more in the next post

Fear of Commitment (Part Two): DAY 440

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 4)

Solution

We’re within the walking of the relationship between Want and Will – also facing the Dimension of Commitment. When you ‘choose’ your Wants over the Decision to Live Self-Will: you are making a commitment to your wants, to your Mind. If you make a Decision to stand by/with and Live your Will: you are making a commitment to you. So, again – here, the problem in itself is not Commitment, nor is it the Fear thereof. It cannot be, because commitment doesn’t stand alone, it’s not this externalized force influencing you. Who/what substantiates and so defines and lives the word Commitment is: ‘who we are’, it is in fact Ourselves. Commitment remains commitment, but what will create the consequence of how the word is defined and so lived – is who we are in and as the Word. Therefore, if we can commit to ‘wanting our Wants’ – why not commit to ‘living Self Will’? If we can commit to our Minds…then we are able to commit to ourselves, to the physical, to life.

Many may for example in this moment say: “I’m not COMMITTING to my Mind, my Wants…it’s just who I am, how I’ve been, it’s Natural. I don’t even know what ‘Committing to my Mind/Wants even means! This is ridiculous!” Have a look: Every moment you participate in thought, every moment you give into reactions, every moment you speak words intentionally and deliberately where you know it is going to cause harm/consequence – are moments you are committing to the Mind, to your Wants. In moments where you want something that you know will compromise a relationship, a friend, a family member or get you into trouble – is a moment where you make a choice, a commitment to ‘getting your own wants in your own Mind’ – committing to putting the mind/wants BEFORE consideration/regard of others/your life/consequence. Commitment is an action, it’s a choice/decision that is acted upon/lived out – either in the Mind or in Reality. The difference between why it seems so natural in the Mind/in relationship to our wants – is because we’ve always done it, it’s the choice, the action of participating/living out the Mind/it’s wants that’s become so ‘easy/natural’; which in turn is why we don’t “obviously SEE” the commitment. Because, as I’ve explained: commitment takes an allowance/permission and then the choice/action to stick to/live out the commitment. Therefore, with our allowance/permission of participating in the mind/giving into reactions being so automated, seemingly natural and so immediate in choice/action: is why we don’t even realise how we’re in fact every time committing to the Mind. Therefore, making the decision to change one’s commitment to self, to a better self, way of life/living – not only for self/for all, is going to be a process of deliberately, in awareness, in moments sticking to/standing by this commitment – making that decision, and living that decision for a changed self/life.

So, bringing the point of Want and Will, as well as Commitment together – we have to consider the following: Are we not, then, fully committing to a change that we know will contribute to ourselves/life on earth for the better – only because we feel it does not serve our Wants, our Self Interest? Surely must be, because it’s obvious that we only would not want to change/commit to change, even despite knowing the betterment of it – if ‘there’s something else we want, need, desire, want to do/achieve which we believe we can only do/have/achieve “MY WAY” and so will give up a better self/life – not only for self, but for all, just so that one can have that one/few wants, needs and desires. Because, within us – a part of us knows that, we have to compromise, deceive, sabotage, lie, be secretive, manipulate –hold onto the ENTIRE Mind, ALL our personalities to achieve/get/have that one/few WANTS. We believe that a TOTAL better self/life – for self and for all, will mean that “I will not get MY WANT MY WAY”…this is frightening to face, to look at. Many will try and deny this, but we in fact do it most of the time, every time we indulge in imaginations, in backchats that are detrimental to ourselves, our integrity and relationship to others – we say “this moment I want MY WANT MY WAY”, instead of being the ‘better person that we know we can be’ and use that moment to change ourselves, to change how we see, how we react, how we approach a moment/relationship.

So, we’ll continue in the next post with having a look at what it says about ourselves with accepting/allowing our WANTS, in the small and big scales – to have precedence over our will, our commonsense, our integrity regarding who we are as a person within ourselves, and questioning whether the point is in fact about ‘fear of commitment’ or is that simply the ‘nice way we’ve found to hide the truth’: we’re putting our wants/desires before what would best for ourselves and life on earth?

Fear of Commitment: DAY 439

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 3)

Solution

Continuing with the question we left off with in the previous post: “Why are we making such a simple Decision from Want to WILL to actual self/world change so difficult for ourselves?” – we’re going to have a look at, essentially, why/how it is that we make Change/Self Change and/or life/living changes so difficult for ourselves. When, all it takes to change, to will oneself, as move oneself into physical change/application – is a Decision and to stand by that Decision/with that Decision until it becomes a ‘natural living expression / way of life’ for self.

A point opened up within the Relationship Series walked in EQAFE regarding ‘Commitment’ – a Decision and the living of/as such a Decision to change, to change oneself and one’s life/living: is a Commitment. It’s a commitment you make to yourself and for yourself. But, WHY – despite seeing how a self change/life change will benefit one internally and externally…do we still sabotage / compromise ourselves, where the More we “TRY” and change/commit/make a decision – the more we sabotage / compromise it?

Many walking the Desteni Process are confronted with this point daily when it comes to writing / walking DIP / making decisions - where the benefit of the processes can be seen/felt/lived, but YET – when it comes to commitment, to following through: we fall. The closer and closer we get to or even get to the moment of seeing/sensing how a Change/Commitment/Decision will fulfil us, we find some way or another to destroy it, to fall back into the Mind/old destructive habits/patterns that we KNOW will lead us down a certain path/consequence…yet, we still do it.

What is scary is that we can spend months, years…if not a lifetime, facing one point of self/life change – and spend those months/years and even a lifetime justifying/excusing/sabotaging and compromising ourselves from making/living the Decision to change and actually live/apply it. The Mind can create this vacuum inside us, where it seems like “time does not matter / time does not exist” – before we know it, months had gone past…even years, and often a lifetime and we every so now and then wandered off into our minds, considered the change of self/life/living, for a moment indulging in guilt/regret/remorse about it; but then simply continuing with our ‘old ways / habits’. In this, using/abusing the prospect of change to justify/excuse/sabotage/compromise ourselves as to why it is we’re not taking that step, making that decision, committing ourselves/our living to in fact change/apply change/walk change.

The question is: how can we sit with a point of change – a prospect of change/process of change within us, for months, for years…yet, do nothing about it, but just continue as we’ve always been? Does this mean that we do not in fact want to change? Because, I mean – if one REALLY, self honestly want to change, man – you’d put everything of yourself into it. If you REALLY, self honestly, want a better way of life/living – man, you’d put everything of yourself/your life into it. Now, many in their minds may go: “But, but, but – it’s so DIFFICULT, it’s IMPOSSIBLE, I have TRIED, there’s TOO MUCH, there’s SO MUCH GOING ON, it’s not only THAT…” – and I can continue with what we can come up in the Mind, doing everything/saying anything possible to just not take that one step, make that one decision and commit to it.

So, what is it – or who is it – that is in fact holding back, that is in fact waiting/postponing? What is it within/of ourselves that seems so powerful, overwhelming that it takes precedence over/of that which we KNOW would be best for ourselves, would best for all, would contribute to a better future, a better human? To what extent does our programming / brainwashing go that we cannot equate a simple commonsense solution, an action of change and implement it immediately?

We’ll continue more in the next post