Relationships are the Cure for Loneliness: DAY 487

Relationships are the Cure for Loneliness: DAY 487

The Moment of Shock

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Nine)

In the next post and posts to come – we will continue with the Self Forgiveness Process, focusing on that initial real purpose for/of relationship, what Negative things were covered up / suppressed by the Positive things experienced / that was dependent on the relationship and how this creates MENTAL-RELATIONSHIPS, and what would REAL PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIPS be if/6as our starting point for relationships was not based on emotional/feeling energy, but two individuals walking / living as EQUALS.

This is the cycle we get caught up in, ‘looking for love’ – love encompassing all the positive feelings filled into one bowl within our Minds, where all the positive feelings we’re looking for / searching for from another / in a relationship / sex unites in our Minds / Bodies for a moment to be able to drive / motivate ourselves to just not have to look at ourselves, our problems / issues…our own Minds and what really goes on in there. So, ‘love’ – the search for it / yearning for it and how it preoccupies / possesses our minds, in fact functions as a distraction…a distraction from ourselves, our own minds / who we are.

In and from this blog – we’re going to start the Self Forgiveness Process of exposing thoughts and emotions that often fuel the desire / yearning for relationships, such thoughts and emotions that we tend to not take self-responsibility for and so make ourselves believe that hiding and suppressing them within relationships will ‘make them go away / disappear’; when in fact – they always in some way or another come back / linger in the back of our minds…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loneliness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my fear of loneliness, being in that deep dark abyss of nothingness where it feels like I’m so disconnected from everything and everyone around me – as though I have been forgotten by the world, pushing me into the experience of being SO isolated – that I so YEARN for a connection, for a touch, for a kiss, being held – just that someone to ‘be here’ with me in this aloneness – where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this / such loneliness that only I know of within myself, that is so intimate and so deep within myself – will be ‘cured’ or even understood by another human being…

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how it is that I am creating this aloneness as an emotional experience of loneliness within myself, my own Mind - based on the thoughts and emotions I participate in – such as “I am so alone / lonely” / “I need someone” / “I need to feel loved” / “no one loves me” / “why can’t I have someone that loves me”, essentially manipulating myself with my own thoughts and emotions. 

In so doing, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how I am creating my own problem as the emotional experience of loneliness as the negative polarity and from there – my own ‘solution’ as the positive polarity – that being a ‘relationship’. But, it’s interesting that I never consider how and why it is that I am, with my own Mind, my own thoughts and emotions – creating this problem-solution polarity in my Mind with negative and positive emotions and feelings. 

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever introspect / investigate what it is I am creating – and so accepting and allowing in my own Mind with my thoughts and emotions when it comes to the negative polarity of the emotional experience of loneliness, feeling isolated / disconnected and so alone and considering how this would change – if I let go, forgive such thoughts and emotions – where my starting point for a relationship is then not based on my fear of being alone / lonely; using a relationship to suppress / hide this fear – but that I can approach a relationship with a decision to create something more with someone, rather than using someone / a relationship for me to hide from my own fears, my own thoughts and so my own emotions for which I am not taking responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question – how it is possible for relationships to be/become ‘more’ if/as the starting point thereof is ‘fear of loneliness’, because as long as the starting point for the relationship is ‘fear of loneliness’ / ‘being alone’ – then everything about the relationship would be dishonest, because all the words, experiences and behaviours will be driven by this fear in some way or another and so what this places into question is “what can I trust about myself / the relationship if everything that I am in the relationship is driven / motivated by this fear?” If anything, what relationships and the condition thereof within humanity has proven is that each one always in some way or another – ends up in the place within themselves that they fear: alone together with the emotional companion of loneliness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be self honest with myself when it comes to what it is that I am yearning for / searching for in a relationship with another – for example, looking at this fear of experiencing and facing this loneliness – even though I may find this ‘someone’, ‘the one’:  they never seem to really fulfil this deep, seemingly never-ending yearning for a connection and so I would eventually compromise and ‘settle for less’ where I would justify / excuse / validate how they ‘show their love’ as being ENOUGH – but still, this yearning, this want / need / desire for something MORE will remain within me and/or eventually be suppressed

In the next post we’ll open up more dimensions of the consequence that fear of loneliness / being alone manifest within relationships – how such a fear can compromise self and one’s relationship with another. Then finally – what is the solution to such a fear and how would self change and so one’s relationship with another with taking responsibility for such thoughts and emotions.