Love and Fear Tug-of-War: DAY 483

The Moment of Shock

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Five)

We’ll continue more in the next post – expanding on the point with regards to why/how it is that the “fears” that come up in the mind as the “love” for someone grows, stands in the context of being a ‘warning’ and finally understand why we exist in such an extreme polarity of love and fear in our minds in relation to someone; and what are the consequences and solutions for such relationships and experiences we create within the Mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I could never fully comprehend this relationship between Love and Fear, the experience of Love and Fear - as I had not been Aware of how the Mind / Consciousness operate / function and was not Self-Aware to be able to understand my relationship to the Mind / Consciousness and how it leads our ‘self’ / ‘awareness’ into “experiencing / interpreting” life / living and relationships energetically through emotions/feelings instead of actually being grounded within physical reality and in fact living through and as the physical. Meaning – I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how little my focus / attention in relationship to others had been on how we physically interact, participate and communicate and how much more it was about “how I feel about them / me in relationship to them” within my Mind, where my relationship to them was more defined by how I either positively / negatively reacted towards them in my Mind – in so doing, not presenting myself with the space and time to actually develop ourselves as individuals, expand/grow in how live / behave / communicate with ourselves and one-another as I was always so preoccupied with my own internal reactions / experiences as emotions / feelings / thoughts and backchat.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question, to the full extent / degree necessary – why/how it is that within/during a relationship, only “Love” is so celebrated, talked about, expressed, discussed etc. whereas, when it comes to the Fears that come up in the Mind of losing / being separated from a ‘loved one’ / ‘someone close’ – such Fears are pushed back as far as possible in the Mind, to not be looked at / introspected / investigated at all. The more the “Love” is pushed forward through how we speak / behave in its presence – the more the “Fear” is pushed back into the depths of our Mind and so we end-up in the ‘tug-of-war’ between the experience and thoughts of Love and Fear in our Minds, within and throughout the entire relationship being pulled this-way and that-way between the experiences and thoughts of Love and Fear.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever see, realise and understand how on a subconscious / unconscious mind level we have this battle between Love and Fear within our Minds – where our Love for someone will become more intense / overwhelming, the moment the Fears arise in thoughts / projections. Meaning – the moment the Fears / what if’s come up in the Mind of losing someone / missing someone / being separated from someone, we immediately shift into the other Polarity of Love, appeasing our Fears with Love to try and conquer the Fears in the Mind with thinking about / imagining / expressing how much we Love another. But we don’t see / realise / understand how the Fears always seem to return, that we never in fact ‘conquer’ such Fears in the Mind, but only momentarily suppress them when we think / imagine / feel / express the “Love” we have for another person(s). If anything – what in fact comes to pass is that our very Fears materialize / manifest at the end – that we do eventually lose them / separate from them and all that remains in our Minds is memories of how much we Loved them. Then, even still – the memories are accompanied by the loss / grief / sadness and sorrow of their death / separation from us.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how / why it is that from the get-go, with approaching a relationship from the Mind within the starting point of emotions / feelings – it exist within the principle “if you know the beginning, you know the end”; meaning: with a relationship starting-off with being defined within and as experiencing only emotions/feelings to/towards someone – such as Love and Fear, a relationship will always be only that “experiencing / feeling” something to/towards that someone and so it will also be in the end when all that is left of them is memories in the mind / memorabilia in reality – every time one think of them / reminisce / see them in photos etc. – one only have experiences / feelings / emotions that come up. Where, the emotional / feeling experiences in fact blind one from seeing the individual as a person, blind one from seeing the life they had lived as an individual and towards/with self, blind self from the gifts they left behind, blind one from what one could learn about their lives / them as individuals, blind one from what one could take as gifts out of their lives to continue living / sharing / expressing with those still in one’s world.

In the next post, we will continue with explaining how emotional/feeling-based relationships in the Mind is causing us to limit who we are in relationship to others, and how this is/has been contributing to the devolution of human beings – because instead of using the time we have on earth together to grow/expand/develop our communication / living, we only base our relationships on energy experiences and do not create ourselves into/as our utmost potential as individuals and together by using relationships as a platform for the evolution of human beings.

Relationships and Death (Part 2): DAY 482

The Moment of Shock

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Four)

…Death is Death, one cannot in fact go to the absolute of saying “I Fear Death” – if one only react to the deaths of those in the inner-circle, and not blink an eye to the Deaths of those in the second and last circle. If we’d REALLY ‘Fear Death’ – we’d be in a constant possession of FEAR with the extent of Deaths that manifest every second time goes by within/as this physical existence. So, if we do not ‘Fear Death’, but only “Fear the Death of ourselves and those in the inner-circle”…what is it that we’re actually fearing /reacting to???

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question why / how it is that we develop such an intense / intimate connection with someone / something, to the extent where – when we lose them / when they die, especially unexpectedly: it leads us to a point within ourselves where we never want to “love someone” to that extent ever again due to the fear of having to go through / experience the depth of sadness and despair one is taken into/as within oneself?

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever consider that: a part of us is in fact from the get-go Aware of the intense intimacy / connection that we have come to define as “love” and at the same time as that “love” grows, as the intimacy and connection intensifies: the fear of losing them grows. Where, we ‘overall’ have the general experience of love – but every so now and then, the projections / imaginations accompanied with emotions and fear, visit us in the Mind in relation to ‘what would we do / be if we’d ever lose them’; but we very quickly discard such imaginations / projections, suppress them as far back in our Minds as possible – not realising the “warning” such projections / imaginations in fact represents…

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how the intensity / extent of the experience of “love / connection” – closely equals the extent of “fear / sadness and loss” experienced at the end of a relationship; sometimes – dare I say, the extent of “fear, sadness and loss” is MORE and deeper and ever so compromising on one’s mental and physical well-being than the extent of “love / connection” one has had for someone. So, why and how is it –within this equation that it seems like the loss and the mental and physical impact it can have on one, is a consequence / “cost” for/as the extent of “love” one had for someone / something? But why does “love” have a price that we mentally and physically ‘pay for’? Why does the loss, grief, sadness – all the emotions involved with the death/loss of someone close, more seem like a ‘punishment’ that makes us crumble and fall into the depths of despair, a sorrow that can penetrate so deep into oneself that it can make one feel as though one can never come out of it?

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the dynamics of how the Mind Consciousness System operates / function within Polarity and the direct-relationship between Love and Fear – where: for “Love” to exist, “Fear” must exist in relation to how the Mind Consciousness System polarize the negative emotions and positive feelings. This is why and how it is that, the more one’s “love” grows and moving closer to someone – equally the fear grows of having to be apart.

Where, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how – when/as one experience “love” / “positive feelings” for someone that develops over time, it’s like one’s heart feels ‘fuller / bigger’ as though it ‘expands’ every time one think of the person / see the person / embrace the person. Then equally – when/as a moment occurs that the person is gone / has been lost to oneself, one’s heart aches, it feels as though it’s being torn apart by the deep sorrow, sadness and pain and emptiness emerge where previously – one felt fulfilled, complete and whole.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever notice / introspect / investigate this polarity-relationship within the Mind in relation to Love and Fear, in relation to the Heart fulfilment and Heart ache, because this has become such an accepted and allowed way of existing and living, never questioned why such a relationship / love with someone that seems to reach the depths of one’s being / “soul” must end with such pain? Why does it not come to an end with a celebration, an appreciation / gratefulness for the time spent together, for what was learned from one-another, how you together grew as individuals – where all the time-spent comes-together in that one moment that you move apart / separate; and what overwhelms one is this absolute sense of knowing that the time spent together was well spent, that the time you had together was used to its utmost potential and that you individually and together lived in such a way to have no regrets…all that remain is the gifts that was left for each other, immortalized in how you lived individually and together and how the gifts given and received will continue to live on through how one interact/live/express with oneself and those still in one’s world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how/why it is that none of us ever stood back for a moment and wondered why and how it is that humanity had become so divided when it comes to relationships and love; where we all have our small inner-circles to which our relationships and love can extend – but none of us have equal relationships / forms of love to the rest of humanity/this physical existence. If we’d have relationships, if we’d ‘love’ as ‘care / consider / regard’ the rest of humanity / this physical existence as a whole as much as we do for ourselves and those within our small inner-circles…how different would this world have been? Is this world / humanity in the state / condition that it is because we have limited / diminished our capacity to really in fact care / consider / regard others as we’d do for ourselves and those in our small inner circle? Does the degree to which we then ‘love’ not define our very limitation, if it only extends into a small inner-circle?

We’ll continue more in the next post – expanding on the point with regards to why/how it is that the “fears” that come up in the mind as the “love” for someone grows, stands in the context of being a ‘warning’ and finally understand why we exist in such an extreme polarity of love and fear in our minds in relation to someone; and what are the consequences and solutions for such relationships and experiences we create within the Mind.

Relationships and Death: DAY 481

The Moment of Shock

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Three)

In the next post we will continue having a look at the direct-relationship between the mind and the physical, where we in our Minds simulate stressful situations / experience, the brunt of which the physical body experience and what it is to understand within the mind-body relationship that a “shock” can induce such mental / physical trauma and catapult one into stress and eventually chronic stress.

In and from this post we’re going to walk a Self Forgiveness process, understanding the moment of Shock with the sudden / unexpected loss of a loved one / someone close to you. With understanding the ‘shock’ reaction and the relationship between the mind and the physical on a quantum physical level: the trauma and stress on a mental and physical level will be understood. Obviously, there are many dimensions to ‘Shock’ – so, the first dimension of shock we’re going to investigate / walk through is the emotional-shock of the sudden / unexpected death / loss of someone close to you / a loved one. The other dimension of ‘Shock’ we’re going to walk is in relation to Death-itself. So, we go through an Emotional-Shock based on our emotional relationship towards another and then we go through a Death-Shock, which is our emotional relationship to Death itself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand why and how it is that my relationship to death, and a sudden / unexpected death as loss of someone from my life / from this world – would cause a shock through my system on all levels of my being – from the mind, to my beingness to the physical body due to not understanding the extent to which we in fact interconnect with another living human being and why/how it is that all of humanity does not experience ‘equal shock, trauma and stress’ when another living human being suddenly / unexpectedly dies.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question, to the full extent / degree that is necessary – why and how it is that we experience such shock when only those closest to us suddenly / unexpectedly dies, to the extent that such shock ripple trauma and stress on a mental, beingness and physical level? Why and how it is that we do not have such relationships with all human beings equally – where, it’s more dependent on how we emotionally “feel” about others that will accordingly equate the amount of “shock” we will experience, which is showing that our value-relationship to others is more determined by the amount of feeling/emotion-energy we have towards someone in our Minds, than it is the value of who the being was / how the being lived and contributed to their own lives and that of others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how my ‘personal world’ is in this ball, with all the people closest to me – and according to my value-relationship towards them (value-relationship meaning: how much value as emotional/feeling energy I have invested in the particular relationships) – will accordingly determine how valuable / important the people in my world/reality are. Then, in another circle outside of the initial ball – is relationships in my world with people I interact with, but has little to no ‘personal value’ to me, because I have no emotional / feeling energy invested in them. Then, in another circle outside the second circle is the rest of humanity that has absolutely no value, because there aren’t any emotional / feeling experiences/energy from my mind invested in/as them and so therefore – I “feel” nothing for them. Thus, the extent / experience of shock I experience to/towards someone’s death – actually determine the extent of emotional / feeling energy I have invested in another person throughout a period of time and also the extent of emotional / feeling energy I have invested to thinking about / fearing Death-itself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question – to the full extent / degree necessary, why and how it is that when it comes to the Deaths of the rest of humanity in the outer circle and the Deaths of others in the second circle – towards whom I have not invested any emotional / feeling energy/experiences/relationships: why and how it is that I do not in any way go into reactions of shock / distress at their Deaths or even think about Death in itself? We may for a moment be ‘taken by surprise’, but it does not come CLOSE to the extent of mental / physical shock we go through with those in our personal worlds/reality, those in the ‘inner circle’ of our lives when it comes to fearing death. So, do we then in fact ‘Fear Death’, if we do not in any way even react / respond to the countless Deaths that manifest in/as this existence as a whole – from humans to animals, to nature / the environment? Because…Death is Death, one cannot in fact go to the absolute of saying “I Fear Death” – if one only react to the deaths of those in the inner-circle, and not blink an eye to the Deaths of those in the second and last circle. If we’d REALLY ‘Fear Death’ – we’d be in a constant possession of FEAR with the extent of Deaths that manifest every second time goes by within/as this physical existence. So, if we do not ‘Fear Death’, but only “Fear the Death of ourselves and those in the inner-circle”…what is it that we’re actually fearing /reacting to???

We’ll continue more in the next post

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Two): DAY 480

In the next post we will continue with the Unconscious Mind, Quantum Mind and Quantum Physical layers / compartments within and as which the Mind Consciousness System function / exist, to understand the processes involved on the Quantum Physical level that contribute to the manifestation of chronic stress in the Mind and Body.

UNCONSCIOUS MIND – this is the third layer / compartment of the Mind and has a direct-relationship with the physical body, which extends into a deeper dimension within everything of/as the physical body. The Unconscious Mind contains ‘behavioural systems’ that are pre-programmed, and when activated will accordingly affect / influence your gestures / mannerisms / body language.

So, within the Subconscious and Unconscious Mind relationship to the physical body – these two mind-layers/compartments are responsible for activating already-existent / merged mind-systems within the very tissue / structures / bones of/as the physical body. So, in other words – let’s say one’s physical eyes see someone, and that image is captured by your Consciousness, a signal will be sent to your Subconscious / Unconscious Mind to accordingly activate emotional / feeling experiences as well as particular physical experiences that will then determine your body language / behaviour / mannerism.

QUANTUM MIND and QUANTUM PHYSICAL – this is the fourth layer / compartment of the Mind and has a direct-relationship with the physical body, existing in a deeper-dimension beyond the unconscious mind dimension. The Quantum Mind and the Quantum Physical are the dimensions of the Mind Consciousness System that actually DIRECTS the physical body / MANIPULATES physical matter and the Subconscious and Unconscious Mind only has the ability to influence / affect physical matter through the systems/programs/memories that are merged within and as the physical body. For example, the Quantum Mind is the very Systems/Programs merged into/as the physical body and the Quantum Physical is that of the body that had become so conditioned / manipulated / changed by the Mind/Consciousness – that the very structures / designs of physical matter resonate a particular program / impulse constantly and continuously that on a physical-level ensures you ‘live the mind’.

Even though the Quantum Mind and the Quantum Physical is existent in deeper dimensions to the Subconscious Mind and Unconscious Mind, one can interdimensionally-physically see how these two mind layers / dimensions permeate / infiltrate physical matter. Where, if one have a look at the interdimensional and the physical simultaneously, the Mind had taken over physical matter to such an extent that one can barely see any ‘pure physical substance’ that belongs only to the body / where the body has ‘natural control’ over itself. What is affecting / influencing and directing the physical body to a great degree is Consciousness, and this goes for activating, for example hormones and/or irregular heartbeats, problems with the digestive systems etc. to name but a common few.

What we had walked thus far in terms of explaining the Mind layers/dimensions/compartments is illustrating but the major constructs / parts that exist of the Mind in the Conscious, Subconscious, Unconscious, Quantum Mind and Quantum Physical. This by no means represents the entirety of what the mind layers/dimensions/compartments consist of / exist as – because the primary focus point of walking through the mind layers / dimensions is to show how exactly the mind’s foundations exist within the physical body.

This brings us to how / why it is that shock, trauma and stress primarily activates on a Quantum Physical Level, where – one have the ‘natural stress activation’ of the physical body to produce adrenaline and supporting hormones for the ‘fight / flight’ experience to activate when/as one is in danger / have to kick-start the physical body in a quantum moment to move / direct oneself through the physical body in an instant.

However, it does happen that we through the Mind – with shock / trauma and emotional experiences, constantly place the physical body in ‘fight / flight’ mode where stress, that’s supposed to facilitate our survival – becomes a ‘way of life’ , which leads to chronic stress. Obviously, this shows the extent of impact the Mind – how we think / react, has on the physical body and the short-term and long-term consequence this can create mentally and physically.

In the next post we will continue having a look at the direct-relationship between the mind and the physical, where we in our Minds simulate stressful situations / experience, the brunt of which the physical body experience and what it is to understand within the mind-body relationship that a “shock” can induce such mental / physical trauma and catapult one into stress and eventually chronic stress.