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Friday, 25 October 2013

Eternal Darkness (Part 2): DAY 464

Eternal Darkness (Part 2): DAY 464


What I’d like to show here is: when one is alone with oneself – one really gain perspective of how much of the stuff we participate in and experience within the Mind: we do to ourselves, we’re solely responsible for. Realising this, makes it a lot easier to take responsibility for what we accept and allow in our thoughts and emotions; and how we can assist/support ourselves and our relationship with others with stopping blaming everything/everyone else for who we are in our Minds, but in fact change ourselves and direct our own thoughts/emotions.

The moment I explained to Adam how I ‘float’ within this centre-point within the Atom within absolute silence / eternal darkness – this also reminded me of when we’re in the process of going to sleep. We rest within darkness – when we close our eyes: it’s naturally dark, in the evening – it’s naturally dark. So, this also contributes to why it sometimes feels like our thoughts are so loud and our emotions so intense: we’re alone with only ourselves and we’re not exposed to external stimuli of other people and/or an array of sounds produced by the external physical environment that often distract us / preoccupy us from what we accept/allow/participate in within our own Minds.

I have found within my process, in the evenings – also because it’s generally more ‘quiet’, that our Minds would focus on sounds – cars, insects, animals, music, whatever sounds you are exposed to when/as you’re in the process of trying to rest/sleep in the evenings. I have found that my Mind would focus on and react to such sounds as an additional / continued distraction from myself, my own mind – because: as long as I continue thinking about / backchatting and reacting to the external sounds, I don’t have to face / confront me, my Mind. So, what I started doing is walking self-forgiveness for the reactions I was projecting towards the external sounds, until I was stable, here with me in/as breath and then I’d walk through my day within myself. This was initially quite challenging, because my Mind would have the tendency to want to “wander off” and think / imagine – but, the moment I find I’m wandering off with the Mind – instead of looking at memories and investigating them, I would bring my attention back to breathing and direct myself to look.
So, what would happen within this process is that the external sounds / the physical environment doesn’t become ‘emphasized’ as much within the Mind, because before – it’s like, all my Mind would focus on is the sounds and would produce many reactions within me, causing me to become restless and actually wake myself up more! However, with this change – where I’d focus my attention on the memories of the day, push myself to focus, be here, breathing: the external environment becomes ‘natural’ / ‘normal’, nothing more / less. I can still hear the sounds – but, there’s no reaction towards them within my Mind and this, fascinatingly enough, made it possible to simply ‘accept’ what’s here and so I could focus on the more important things: my process within me.

Obviously, within the Atom – lol, it’s all a lot easier, because it’s very quiet; with no external environmental sounds / noises; however even in the evenings, in the dark within oneself and without: one can walk this same process for self. The only step that needs to be taken is to release one’s Mind from the reactions of the external environment, until one can simply breathe and listen to the sounds and there’s no reaction/movement within one’s Mind/Body. Then, one starts with utilizing one’s memories constructively and have a look at any reactions / challenges one faced throughout the day / in relation with others and start walking self-forgiveness, establishing solutions for mistakes and/or things one see one could have done differently.
Overall, what this process also assisted/supported me with is self-discipline when looking at things within myself / observing memories and learning from them. Self-discipline, meaning: to not follow the thoughts / imaginations that so automatically come up in the Mind, but in fact will oneself to practically look at memories / events of the day, walk self-forgiveness, consider solutions / changes etc. – through consistent application in this regard, it flowed through into my day-to-day living application, with not having the tendency to so immediately/automatically follow thoughts / imaginations and the reactions they produce; but consider by decisions/actions in thought, word and deed.

So, to reconsider one’s relationship to the evenings before going to sleep – to not accept/allow the external environment’s sounds (that one cannot in fact change) to distract / preoccupy one from the opportunity of that which one in fact can change: one’s own process of investigation/introspection and expansion/growth/development through being able to direct one’s own Mind and learn from one’s memories / past experiences.

We’ll continue more in the next post
  





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