Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself - DAY 491

The Moment of Shock

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Thirteen)

In the next post, I will continue with how this polarity-separation of hope and fear contribute to a split that manifests within and as self, a split from self, the body and so reality – into an alternate reality in the mind, that contribute to the extent of impact shock, trauma and stress manifest within self and so the physical body; and how to assist and support oneself to practically prepare oneself and so face the reality of the fact that death is unpredictable and so minimize the effect of shock, trauma and stress the moment something unpredictable happens in your relationship  with yourself / another.

Losing someone, especially an individual that you have spent a lifetime / years walking with – is not easy. This process we’re walking in relation to shock, trauma and stress is in no way implying that you shouldn’t feel / experience ANYTHING when someone passes or you’re separated from them – especially due to traumatic circumstances. No.

However, what you can assist and support yourself with is to minimize the effects of shock – the experience of loss and mourning, on your ‘mind, body and being’. ‘Mind, body and being’ meaning: those who have walked through death experiences – personally or through losing someone through death, knows that the shock of that loss seems to penetrate your mind and body and reach into depths within self, where – when you think of them / look at memories of them, it feels like you’re being pulled into the deep dark hole within yourself, an emptiness that awaits with only the experience of sadness, sorrow, grief, loss and pain. It’s like, usually – the person you lost always used to fill a space within yourself, more so than you initially realised; until you lost them and that ‘space’ within yourself that you gave to them to make a ‘home’ within you, become a part of you in a way – that space is now empty and what had taken its place was the emptiness, the emotions of sadness, sorrow, grief, loss and pain.

Why and how does this happen? On what level / in what dimensions within your Mind, Being and Body does another person become a part of you – where it’s literally like you make a ‘space’ for them within yourself on many levels and allow them to become such an integral part of you on so many levels/dimensions, that when you’re separated from them / they die: all that’s left is an emptiness and emotion?

We actually form relationships with others that extend beyond the Mind and emotion, where connections can manifest on a beingness as well as physical level. Such a beingness-physical level connection is not a connection that is necessarily established through sex, but can also be established through a long-term relationship of pure communication and intimacy, where you for years can walk with a person and that intimacy / depth, purely through communication and participation, can become established. (This process of how and why we develop relationships and so intimate / deep connections with others within our lives with the connection extending beyond the mind and emotions into our beingness/physical body – is described and walked in detail within the Death Research Series that will be available on EQAFE soon, so keep an eye out) It is important to understand the nature of such relationships, because it is in fact such relationships – that form a connection on a beingness-level, that contributes to the shock, trauma and stress and the impact thereof on the mind, being and body of yourself when you face the death of such an individual with who you have established such a relationship. This is why, when that ‘disconnect’ happens from the other person – it affects you on so many levels within yourself, mentally, physically and also into a depth of your being; the loss is affecting you on so many levels / into so many depths because of the extent / reach of the relationship and your connection with the person that had in fact been more close than you may have initially realised / known.

Yet, what makes the shock, trauma and stress experience – that moment of loss, more compromising on you than it needs to be; is when you do not understand the WHY of the experiences of loss and the extent thereof that you’re going through. Mainly because the degree of depth / intimacy of the relationship was not understood in the first place and then also how to assist and support oneself to ‘fill the space’ within oneself that was once filled by the other person. This in itself is not something that is understood: when someone close to you dies – especially when you have connected with that person on more levels than just the Mind / Emotion, when that someone dies – we immediately go into the assumption that ‘a part of ourselves’ has been lost, which contributes to the experience of being ‘empty’. But, the reality of the situation is that: you cannot EVER ‘lose’ yourself. Our Mind, Being and Body is a ‘closed system’ – meaning: all parts of ourselves will ALWAYS be here – it can only ever be SUPPRESSED…but never be lost.

Therefore, when you make ‘space’ for another within yourself, when you allow them to become a part of you based on the intimacy / connection and so depth of the relationship – it’s more like you ADD them to your life, it’s not like you ‘subtract a part of you and then add another into you’ – no! You additionally ADD a part of them with and within you. Then, when they die / you’re separated from them – that of them that you added within you, is then ‘lost’ for a moment, which is why you have the experience of ‘loss’ and ‘emptiness’ for a moment. But we tend to often hold onto the emptiness and loss, instead of seeing how we can ‘refill’ that space with OURSELVES and what we have learned from them and the time spent together with them. So, others for a moment add to ourselves / our lives so that we ourselves can eventually stand in that responsibility for ourselves.

In the next post I will continue with explaining how this ‘adding – subtracting’ equation manifest in our relationship with others, how exactly others become a part of us and how to within that not misinterpret ‘loss’ within yourself and your life as ‘losing something forever and ever’ – but how to move yourself and align yourself within you and your life to ensure that the person that you became separated from, still remains a part of you based on the lessons/experiences you have learned from them and how they practically fulfilled you based on what they left behind of them within you / your life that you can use to continue growing, expanding and living yourself / life to the fullest.

Relationships: a Quick-Fix for Inner Chaos - DAY 489

The Moment of Shock

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Eleven)

In the next post, I will continue with explaining the detail of how we’ve used suppression in the Mind and Body – why it is that everything we’ve suppressed in the Mind within/during a relationship comes rushing back the moment you realise the dependency is not in your world/reality anymore that you used to hold your suppressions in the Mind; and finally – how this influence our Minds and Physical Bodies. To within this, see / realise and understand the Potential we’re taking for granted in relation to the Mind and Body and our relationship with others, if we’d stop living in fear / hiding from our own Minds and start give ourselves the opportunity to start living and so creating ourselves and our relationship with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use relationships as a ‘quick fix’ – where it’s been easier to feel something positive for someone, whether in my imaginations / fantasies and/or in reality, than it has been actually doing introspection into my own Mind and walking a process with myself and my relationship to the things in my Mind that I try and keep hidden from myself and so from others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to self honestly introspect this relationship between positive fantasies / imaginations of relationships and/or the initial physical experience of a relationship – having a look at how in a quantum moment I can construct an ‘idyllic fantasy / imagination’ in my Mind and/or bring up thoughts and feelings when it comes to my physical relationship with someone; yet – when it comes to the real things, the problems / issues / troubles inside myself / the Mind: I just as quickly suppress them / move them aside – refusing to really look into them and so look at myself. Where, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I have been approaching both the negative and positive polarities inside of myself with ‘quick fixes’ – “QUICKLY” fantasizing / imagining a relationship, “QUICKLY” getting a relationship / sex and then “QUICKLY” suppressing / ignoring my emotions / problems / issues within myself.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take a moment for myself and in fact see, realise and understand how I have never given myself the space and time to really sort through myself, get to know myself and so understand myself – and in so doing, I have never given myself the space and the time to really ask myself what I want out of a relationship practically, how it would be creating a relationship, living together, establishing short-term and long-term goals and of course merging my vision with that of my partner – both equally, actively participating in individual as well as collective growth as we use the relationship as a platform from which we support ourselves and each other to learn, develop and expand in who we are and how/what we live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take such a quick-fix approach to the relationship with myself, my Mind and so others in my life – never putting in the time, patience and understanding; especially the EFFORT to actually walk with myself, my life and others; not seeing, realising and understanding how this has led to a form of conflict and chaos existing inside myself and my relationships, where most of the time I do not understand why / how I think things, say things and do things towards myself and others that I can see sabotage / compromise me and others. In this, I then try / attempt to find ways / methods to ‘deal with / handle and/or just get through’ the conflict and chaos that is existent in my mind, relationships and life in general.

Where, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that most of the conflict / chaos inside myself – is existent because I do not in fact know myself and understand myself in relation to how the Mind / Consciousness operates / functions; because all I do is suppress everything / cover it up in some way or another, not seeing / realising and understanding how all these / such suppressions eventually manifest into the unconscious mind and becomes a backdrop of information / data that seeps through into my conscious-reality and accordingly affects my thoughts, words and deeds that will infiltrate my world and my relationship with others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand – with investigating and introspecting my relationship to fantasies/imaginations of relationships / ‘real-life relationships’ that: I was all this time expecting the relationship to alleviate the chaos / conflict existent within me / my mind; when time and time again it was proven that relationships cannot be for me – what I am supposed to be for myself. In this, I commit myself to assist and support myself, to give myself the space and time to sort through myself, get to know and so understand the chaos / conflict so that I can assist and support myself to approach relationships as a platform for personal growth and expansion, finding out what it means to really create a life with another, rather than a ‘quick fix platform’ with the starting point of hope that another can save me from myself.

I will in the next post continue more with how suppression influence our Minds and Bodies and so affects our words and behaviour and what we create and so experience in our relationship with others.

The Story of a Hug (Part 2): DAY 453

 YouTube Link

Another dimension to consider within self expression, with having a look at a hug – is spontaneity. It was really in the moment, simply on the way to horses as I usually am in the afternoons – where this moment opened up, to express a hug. And, once I gave a hug to Esteni and Maya – I was stable, on the way to horses and all was normal/ordinary again – the point didn’t linger in the mind / nor in relationship to each other, it was understood as simply to be a moment of expression – again, nothing more, nothing less.

This also being why/how it is an expression that cannot be created by the Mind – because in the Mind, as many would be able to relate to: to create a physical movement in the Mind is a process, where you first think about / imagine it, builds up the emotional/feeling motivation, while you’re hugging / with the person more mind dimensions open up, even sometimes afterwards start thinking about it / analysing it etc – this whole process that unfolds is an example with how the Mind/Consciousness interferes with a natural self expression through the Physical –where it is purely just that self expression and the physical sharing. With the mind-interference however – god, you’ve got all the before-hand equations, then the energies, then the imaginations/projections it creates, the interpretations, the judgments/opinions and can busy your mind for a while / a moment after that. Or where a hug is then just ‘neutral’ – where it’s like Robotic, just extend the arms, put it over the other, hold on tightly and let go – here, there is then no ‘self’, no expression – simply a robotic automated movement of the physical.

Therefore, with having a look at process, with walking with individuals – such as through the 7 Year Journey to Life and Desteni, and then more the Individual Process through the Desteni I Process LITE and PRO – what is emerging is an individual, a self and relationships amongst human beings that aren’t tainted with relationships/sex innuendo – but with a foundation/starting point of actual assistance and support, based within the starting point of assisting and supporting self and each other to become ‘more’, to find what of self can be built on, how can we assist and support each other to grow/expand/develop ourselves, release that of our own Minds/Consciousness that has limited who we are, how we live, the decisions/choices we make and the futures we create. I mean, yes – there are then the potentials for agreements that open up, and here again we have the Relationship/Agreement course that ensures the relationship do not go into the relationship/sex of consciousness/the mind – but that two individuals walk together as equals/one.

So, with having a look at this simple point as a Hug – many may go “but, I do THAT!, that’s how I hug!” – but my question would be: how can you – if you haven’t yet even understood what physical hereness/equality and oneness mean – which you can only in fact live, if you have walked a process in relationship to your own Mind/Consciousness, established your Self Awareness in fact, proven, through walking a real, evidenced space-time process of writing, forgiveness, commitments and corrective application? Additionally within this, have walked a process with others in the physical to be able to express such an expression of sharing/give and receive unconditionally?

See, this is what is so cool about this process – those that have walked for some time can easily assess who’s walked for real and who hasn’t – because such expression, such living/stand only naturally emerge through walking the process and cannot in any way be created within the limitations of the Mind/Consciousness…I mean, commonsense is – how can the Mind create such an expression, if the mind is based on programming, on energy and have no direct, equal and one relationship to the physical where such expression, unconditionally, in a moment exists?

I suggest investigating Desteni, the Desteni I Process – to discover what living/self expression in equality and oneness with the Physical in fact is and how limited the Mind/Consciousness of energy/emotions/feelings in fact is.