A Dedication to SELF Forgiveness – my Guardian Angel: DAY 497

A Dedication to SELF Forgiveness – my Guardian Angel

Here I would like to share my journey and experience of walking with Self Forgiveness. I have been applying and living Self Forgiveness for 10 years this year…a decade of self-change, a decade of challenges I have faced, am still facing and sure I will be facing in the future still; however Self Forgiveness and my application/living thereof has been the one constant, the one tool (along with the unconditional support and assistance of other people) that has been my guardian angel through the good and the bad. Without Self Forgiveness – writing, speaking and living it…I don’t know who and where I’d be today, so I owe much to being introduced to Self Forgiveness this life and I would like to share what Self Forgiveness has done for me, as I am sure it will do for each one incorporating this tool in themselves, their lives.

Obviously to understand here, it’s not Self Forgiveness in itself that ‘saved me’, meaning: it was the tool and ‘who I am’ with and as the tool in my application and living, my writing and speaking of Self Forgiveness that supported me to develop the following expressions, skills and parts of me as potentials within myself that I discovered, that emerged because of my relationship, application and living of Self Forgiveness.

If Self Forgiveness were a living being, this is what I would share:

“Thank you for strengthening me”

There were moments where I was confronted with emotional fears, anxieties and uncertainty – oftentimes making me feel as though “I can’t do this / that” / “I have never tried this/that – so therefore, it’s impossible” / “I’m not good enough for this / that”…essentially, walking Self Forgiveness in such moments, allowed me to break through barriers of limitations I accepted and allowed inside myself and discovered I am able to do things / get things done by transcending my own ideas / beliefs and emotional reactions about myself. Applying Self Forgiveness in such moments provided me initially with the strength to break through the impossible in my Mind into the possible within doing things / getting things done in reality – until eventually, this strength became natural within me and any moment an idea / belief / emotion of weakness / limitation / resistance would arise – I would move through it in a moment, assert myself and act.

So, the moment I forgave and released myself from the mental constructs and emotions…I came to discover a strength within myself that’s always been within me, but was suppressed by what I accepted and allowed in relation to certain thoughts and emotions.

“Thank you for making sure I don’t give up”

I have faced many moments in my process…and still sometimes do, where it felt like “I was not going anywhere” / “my process wasn’t mounting to anything” / “nothing was changing” / “the process seemed impossible”…I am sure many will be able to relate to such thoughts about various things in your life…where everything just looks and feels impossible. But, in these moments – with understanding how thoughts and emotions tend to cloud one’s commonsense and realistic / practical view of things, I would do Self Forgiveness, release myself from such thoughts and emotions, in this realising that: as long as I, inside myself, participate in such thoughts and emotions…I am CREATING it in my world, I am the one creating the impossible, creating the limitations / restrictions within myself because I keep on only looking through the eyes of emotions and impossibility…instead of focusing on creating SOLUTIONS to what I see…seeing through the eyes of SOLUTIONS.

So, the more I started applying Self Forgiveness in moments where I felt lost in the darkness of impossibility in my own Mind…I developed the skill of always, immediately, taking a breath when a problem comes my way and look at it in such a way inside myself where I immediately gear myself to look for / create a solution instead of falling into reactions / emotions in relation to the problem / challenge…

Therefore, the point of ‘giving up’ ceased to exist within me – it does ‘try’ and come up within me every once in a while, like the snake in the garden of Eden attempting to lure me into giving up…yet, with developing strength within myself to stand in the face of emotion within myself, I simply breathe and move myself to find / create solutions rather than giving into the idea / emotion of giving up in my Mind.

“Thank you for showing me there’s always a way out”

I have oftentimes faced the experience of “there’s no way out” / “there is no end” when it comes to facing problems / challenges…where it felt like I was spiralling within emotions inside myself and it looked like “everything is wrong” / “nothing is working”…I have found that I created this by trying to look at problems / challenges in my Mind WHILE I was in emotional reactions…not a good idea I came to realise!!! Because the moment you look at a problem / challenge in your own Mind, together with EMOTION…the more you THINK about the problem IN EMOTION…the worse it gets until it literally envelops you / your mind to such an extent, that you lose yourself in it and the moment you ‘lose yourself’ within it all…this is the moment that you create the illusion in the Mind of ‘there being no way out / no solution’.

So, when I finally realised that THINKING about problems WHILE IN EMOTION was only adding fuel to the fire within myself, I would start WRITING and mapping out problems for myself. While I would write the problem / map the problem to be able to LOOK at it with clarity, with perspective and I find that I was becoming emotional at any point: I would stop for a moment, breathe, forgive the emotion and then continue writing out / mapping the problem. Within this process, this allowed me to really GROUND MYSELF within, to stabilise myself and realise I was making the problem more than me inside my Mind. Meaning, I accepted and allowed the problem in itself to overpower my ability to create solutions, to come up with solutions, to direct problems / solve them for example. So, it’s an interesting realisation this – the moment you release the emotions and your stability, groundedness and clarity comes through to be able to tackle problems / challenges practically with confidence and certainty. Therefore, within this particular context – I came to realise that it only seemed like there was “never a way out / through a problem / challenge” because I was lost in the problem itself in the Mind and so I could not come out / come through to create a solution or ask for support / assistance from others!

In the next post I will continue with Thank you for supporting me to realise I’m not lost, Thank you for supporting me to understand the meaning of self honesty and many more, to assist and support with understanding how the relationship you develop with yourself through Self Forgiveness and doing it genuinely, within self honesty assists and supports with discovering parts of yourself only you can gift to yourself through the tool of Self ForGIFTnes...