How we use Relationships to Suppress the ‘Real Self’: DAY 484

How we use Relationships to Suppress the ‘Real Self’: DAY 484

The Moment of Shock

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Six)

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how we in fact develop more ‘mental relationships’ with others, than actual real, physical relationships – where our relationship with others is more based on how the other ‘makes you feel’ / ‘not feel’ than actual real communication, expansion / growth in relation to who we are as individuals within/as our behaviour / living.

Before we continue with the Self Forgiveness process – let me clarify / explain the difference between ‘Mental Relationships’ and ‘Physical Relationships’:

If you have a look at the relationships you’ve had: all the words, behaviours are geared to initiate feelings in each other – making each other feel loved, special, appreciated, cared for, secure, safe, stable and the list can go on. You can for yourself have a look at what you do for your partner / what your partner does for you and HOW exactly it is done to make you / them FEEL something. So, we’re in relationships playing this game with FEELINGS – is this really all that relationships are about??? This is what I mean with ‘mental relationships’ – we play MIND GAMES with each other and with ourselves, playing on each other’s and our own emotions / feelings. Both trying to, essentially, maintain a ‘happiness’ – keeping each other ‘happy’. It’s like feelings becomes this drug that both parties need to inject into each other through words / behaviour over and over and over again just to let each other know “hey, I still love you” – there is not this constant knowing / understanding / standing between the two, this ABSOLUTE certainty that the relationship is solid, there is never ABSOLUTE trust within/between the individuals that they’re committed to each other – because both have to constantly and continuously ‘remind’ themselves and each other that the relationship is still “good / okay” by playing with each other’s feelings.

So, what’s really going on behind this all? If you have a look at ‘mainstream relationships’ – of constantly having to remind each other that the relationship is still ‘good / okay / going strong’; when there is a change in one or the other – not saying “I love you” enough, not DOING enough to entice ‘good feelings’ in the mind/body where the injection of the ‘positive energy drug’ through words and behaviour become less and less: what emerge in the minds of individuals is insecurity, fear, jealousy, isolation, separation, loneliness, loss – all these ‘negative’ thoughts and emotions starts coming up in the back of the Mind. What this is showing is: as long as the individuals in relationships keep ‘activating’ positive feelings/experiences in each other through words and behaviour – the negative emotions/experiences are suppressed. They must be in ‘suppression’ within/during the initial beginning stages of the relationship, because as soon as the ‘positive feelings/experiences’ stop being activated…WHAM, the negative emotions/experiences come to the fore. So, this brings to question the actual nature and starting point as REASON / PURPOSE for relationships and how this nature / starting point contribute to the compromising effects the loss / separation of / from a ‘loved one’ has on us mentally as well as physically.

If you self honestly have a look at relationships – what fuels it is the starting point of ‘fear of loneliness’ / ‘fear of growing old alone’ / ‘fear of not experiencing ‘love / sex’’ / being incomplete/unfulfilled / unsatisfied / no passion / no ‘reason to live’ – so, essentially, what is important for you to investigate is the very starting point / nature of WHY you desire relationships. Because in this – you are going to find, for yourself, what relationships has been ‘giving TO you’ that you haven’t given/gifted to yourself. What you are going to find is what you have been depending on relationships for, to fulfil / complete / make whole within yourself – which you haven’t done for yourself. So, if our starting point for relationships is the NEGATIVE – where we are expecting / depending on the relationship / the other to suppress the things we’re trying to ‘make better’ / ‘not have to deal with’ / not have to experience / face inside our Minds, then we’re looking at the principle of “if you know the beginning –you know the end”. Meaning: with the relationships’ very PURPOSE being for us to ‘get away from’ our actual negative emotions / experiences, to SUPPRESS these things – it will eventually COME BACK, RE-EMERGE; because we have NEVER in fact DEALT with the emotions / negative experiences. The relationship only SUPPRESSED them all. Then, when the time comes where the relationship breaks off – through death / separation, EVERYTHING we suppressed within/during the relationship comes back and it comes back with a vengeance which affects us mentally and physically. This is why we have like a TOTAL mental and physical break-down that happens; because the ‘positive energy injections’ that for so long suppressed our real, true self experience is no more there and we are once more confronted and left with our ‘real selves’ that is almost ‘too much to take / handle’.

In the next post and posts to come – we will continue with the Self Forgiveness Process, focusing on that initial real purpose for/of relationship, what Negative things were covered up / suppressed by the Positive things experienced / that was dependent on the relationship and how this creates MENTAL-RELATIONSHIPS, and what would REAL PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIPS be if/as our starting point for relationships was not based on emotional/feeling energy, but two individuals walking / living as EQUALS.