Using our own Weaknesses against ourselves: DAY 442

Fear of Commitment (Part 4)

I will not let ‘my Want’ take over ‘my Will’ (Part 6)

Solution and Reward

Continuing with the Self Forgiveness / Commitment process:

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to within this see, realise and understand how – despite even now having an ‘awareness’ / insight into and as my relationship/responsibility to/as me and so to all: the wants, needs and desires of/as the Self-Interest of my Consciousness/Mind – still dominates my decision / ‘living will’ to fundamentally change/prepare me to take responsibility for myself and so the position/responsibility of me within this lifetime in relation to everything/everyone else.

Where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even go to the extent of “well, this process is difficult to walk / it’s impossible to change and so therefore, this must mean that I’m not ‘supposed to change / don’t have to change / that this is not what I’m supposed to be/do in this life”. Not seeing, realising and understanding how, with such a stance, what I’m ACTUALLY in fact saying is: “I don’t want to change / I want to remain in my ‘comfort zone’ / I don’t want to put in the effort/walk the process of change” and within this, what I am doing is manipulating myself with using my experience/application in process as the reason/excuse/justification to in fact protect/defend/validate MY wants, needs and desires – by making my reasons/excuses/justifications sound plausible/just/okay TO ME inside my own Mind.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to identify when I, within my Mind’s thoughts/backchats/reactions – in any way accept/allow myself to manipulate myself into excusing/justifying why I’m committing to ‘my WANTS’, rather than standing with and as my Self/Living Commitment to change/face myself within the Mind and also within this World. To not accept/allow myself to always WANT to ‘take the easy way out’ of responsibility/obligation for who I am within and without, but assist/support myself to persevere, to stand, to move until my Self/Living Commitment to me and to all is a Natural Living Expression of who I am.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand – how it’s interesting that so many individuals, even looking at myself before walking process: if someone would come up to me as I/so many of us walking process now come up to others and SHOW how the Mind works, how we’re directly/indirectly responsible for our own Minds and the state of life on earth as it exist now: that many do not even take the FIRST STEP of allowing themselves to INVESTIGATE, to SEE for themselves; but rather simply immediately REACT in the Mind with the statement “NO!!! I’m not responsible! How can I be responsible? I am my Mind! I am my emotions/feelings!!! There exist no direct relationship between my mind, me and my body and so therefore also not to this world/reality”. Instead of taking the moment to look, to investigate “to investigate ALL things”: one didn’t do it, but instead immediately went into thought/backchat/reaction in the Mind. Again here the question: how can one say NO / abdicate responsibility to something – when one had not yet in fact investigated / introspected / researched it? It’s the same as for example saying “Chemicals into the atmosphere does not Pollute the air or the oceans” and making such a claim because you haven’t researched the facts. With Desteni, you become the facts, the reality, the proof through actually allowing yourself to LOOK through investigating/introspecting rather than just immediately reacting.

I commit myself to show how - with so many individuals that have not investigated/researched/introspected the process for themselves, but instead immediately went into opinion/reaction in their MINDS without taking into account/walking the facts/proof for themselves and them saying this process is impossible/lambasting process: this does not define those walking process or the process itself – but instead, defines the individuals who are reacting, as they are becoming their own living proof of the extent of the problem we face within Human Consciousness, our Consciousness Pre-programming – where even seeing the words ‘equality and oneness/what’s best for all’ is simply immediately dismissed, and a stepping back into the mind, the isolation, the separation and limitation is taken. Within this process exists the Act of Abdicating Responsibility, and within that – why the world and human beings in their Minds are in the state/condition that we find today.

In this, I commit myself to assist and support myself to – when/as I ever find myself immediately going into REACTION when something is shown or even when I see something of myself for myself in my writing, forgiveness and living process: to not judge what I see/hear – but instead UNDERSTAND it, understand the problem, the consequence, look at the information practically/realistically and find a solution, commit to a solution and assist/support myself to CHANGE, rather than hold onto/limit myself in and as my own pre-programming. In this process, I expand my self-awareness, my world and so my living – instead of separating myself further from such an opportunity to learn, to expand to grow within and as who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the seriousness of the problem we face in/as Consciousness Pre-programming, where – we tend to take even the smallest moments of wants, needs and desires coming up in the Mind for granted. Meaning: we don’t see/realise/understand how in such moments, we shift from the here, from the physical, the moment and so our direct-relationship to reality and indulge into/as the Mind. The ‘forbidden fruit’ being handed out TO US by the snake/sly/deceptive mind in/as which we’re so skilled to lure ourselves into and as Temptation. Then we trap ourselves in/as our OWN wants, needs and desires and can for a moment, a day, a week, a month…even years/a lifetime: accept/allow ourselves to get lost in/as this self-created pre-programmed alternate reality and not even realise/see/question who we are within it all, our relationship to ourselves, the physical body and so this physical existence/life on earth.

I commit myself to show how we’re Not considering within this all how: our Minds is ourselves, in that, “we know ourselves the best” and so we know our own weaknesses the best and therefore – with how we have programmed our inherent nature for/as survival/self-interest and greed – we will even use OUR OWN WEAKNESSES against ourselves in/as our own Minds; exactly as we do with others in our world/reality. Like with our wants, needs and desires – our own ‘forbidden fruit’ / weakness, our own sly/deceptive/manipulative nature of reasoning/excusing/justifying why/how we indulge/place our wants, needs and desires before what is best for ourselves and so for all and our commitment to ourselves/life: we are our own worst enemy.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, forgiveness and self-corrective living – investigate/introspect my ‘weaknesses’, to understand them, to understand who I am in relationship to them. So that I can within this assist and support myself to: instead of accepting and allowing myself to sabotage/compromise myself/my life through using my own weaknesses against myself – instead learn/teach myself how to not give into temptation as my own wants/needs and desires dominating my Self-Will, but commit to self/life/living change and work on strengthening my resolve to stand for/as what is best for me and so best for all.

We’ll continue more in the next post

Fighting Resistance vs. Moving through Resistance: DAY 297 - 298

                                                     Artwork by: Marlen Vargas Del Razo

In and from this post, we’re going to be walking an Practical Example of a Process regarding, for example – where one is in the Process of Change from Laziness to taking/living Self Responsibility, and walk through some of the dynamics/dimensions to consider within and as this process; especially regarding the facing of Resistance within and during the Process. And how to – within Facing Resistance, not “Fight” the Resistance experienced from changing from the “I am Lazy”-Personality to “I Live Responsibility” Living Word – with seeing, realising and understanding that the Resistance is a ‘Part’ of self within self and so Fighting it, would essentially mean ‘fighting yourself’…which is silly.

Additionally within this – we’re going to be having a look at what exactly ‘Fighting Resistance’ means, and how to assist and support self to MOVE through Resistance with Understanding and Self Stability.

Let’s begin:

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how – a process of change, is something to be done consistently. Where, I commit to a self-change and then having to walk it consistently into living application until the committed change becomes me in practical living. For example, the movement from “I Am Lazy” to “I live Self-Responsibility”: “Laziness” is what I am/have become and the Committed Change as what I am in the process of becoming/living is Self-Responsibility.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that – who I am/have become as ‘Lazy’ / ‘Laziness’ was done through a space and time process in the physical, where I accepted and allowed myself to more and more and more in instances justify, excuse and validate apathy / postponement in moments of taking responsibility / being responsible / living responsibility. And so, over TIME I have accumulated this “Laziness Personality” with its own distinct thoughts, backchats, reactions and behaviour patterns. I only do not REMEMBER the process of how I created it, because it’s now become so automatic in who and how I am that it seems like “I’ve always been this way”.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that: now with understanding that I have created this “Who I Am as Lazy”-Personality over TIME in this space-time physical reality, that: Changing me, from “who I am as Lazy” to “I Live Self Responsibility” – is going to be a process of space and time dedication, and keeping consistent with and as my commitment statements that I place into Living Application.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the difference between Self-Movement THROUGH Resistance into Change, and Forcing self with the Resistance as Fighting to Enforce Change, where:

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the importance of commit-statements, to reinstruct for myself who I am in a moment and to from within that instruction, take a breath and move myself in physical reality into and as Self-Change. Where, if I do not have that reinstruction/commitment, all I am then working with is energy/experience/physical force – which is only one factor I then use to try and FIGHT everything in the Mind into forcing myself into change. When, how the Mind is set-up – is VERY SPECIFIC, and so my commitments has to be equally as specific to reinstruct the previous program/instruction into and as change. For example:

Let’s say – having being introduced to a certain routine every day, of having to – in different time-frames throughout the day, do something different. Where one come from a previous life experience of not having been self motivated/driven in terms of daily tasks/responsibilities and now it has become an obligation to do so. In this, one have to have a look at what responsibilities/obligations has to be done throughout the day/week and map out a prioritization of each of the responsibilities/obligations. In this – one will find that, when one get to the Physical Action of DOING the responsibilities/obligations, one may have a different REACTION within and as all of them. Different thoughts will come up, different backchats, reactions, behaviour patterns etc.- but the general THEME that one will access within one’s Mind is RESISTANCE.

Now, if/as one do not blueprint the different REACTIONS to the different tasks/responsibility and only ‘fight against the RESISTANCE’: one is going to wrestle within oneself, and one’s process of Change is going to become one of constant/continuous internal fighting against the Resistance – pushing, forcing change through the Resistance, without Understanding that the Resistance experienced within each responsibility/obligation has a specific substance and programming to it, based on HOW you in the MIND create that resistance with specific thoughts/backchats and reactions.

Therefore, to have change be a Self Movement instead of a Fighting with oneself – one then establish what thoughts, backchats and reactions come up/manifest within/during particular-specific tasks/responsibilities/obligations, REINSTRUCT what automatically comes up in the Mind into effective, direct, specific Commitment Statements and together with that, the Physical Practical Change/Movement that self will assist/support self with – in moving from the Commitment Statement into Living Change, rather than following the thoughts, backchats, reactions into the Consequence of the Mind.

Because, if there is no definitive Reinstruction within self, and then an actual practical Living Change from that Reinstruction, one is just ALWAYS going to be fighting the Resistance – because the Resistance is only the consequence-outflow of the specific thoughts, backchats and reactions you’re accessing, and so: you’re never going to the SOURCE to change self through reinstruction, from mind programming instructions of Personality Possessions, to Self Living Instructions of Living Application.

So, for example:

Let’s say one’s day consist of:

Having to wake up early

Going to work

Getting the actual work done in terms of all the different tasks/responsibilities/obligations

Preparing dinner

Cleaning the home environment

Other responsibilities – such as school/education, writings, courses

Now, what one can have a look at is specifically structurally outlining your day-to-day living and seeing within WHAT in your day you have particular-specific Resistance to doing, with this resistance having been something that is a constant inner-fight to move through. When any Self Movement – becomes in a nature of a FIGHT, where the fighting becomes constant/consistent instead of one’s actual CHANGE constantly, consistently accumulating: it means that one’s Commitments and Living Application is not effective enough, and the MIND is MORE SPECIFIC than you are, and now you’re trying to ‘FIGHT THE MIND’ without understanding the specificity that is really involved in/as practical living change. And so in this fight – the Mind WILL win, ‘cause the Mind at this stage knows you better than you know yourself. Thus, you first have to get to know how you as the Mind operate/functions within your relationship to obligations/responsibilities in your world, so that you don’t FIGHT the Mind, but change WITH and AS it. As Follows:

So, let’s take the Waking up early as an example:

You identify with waking up early, that: there’s massive resistance – and now you want to specify that resistance, what thoughts goes on in the mind, what’s the energy that comes up, what’s the internal conversations / imaginations that manifest. Essentially, you want to see how you as the Mind move, so that you can change that Instruction, into and as an Instruction of practical living change.

Then you find that the following,

Thoughts come up:

“Seeing yourself Sleep for longer” / “Seeing yourself in the bed sleeping”

Backchats come up:

“I don’t want to wake up now” / “Do I have to wake up now” / “Just a little bit longer” / “I don’t want to face this day”

Energy come up:

Irritation, apathy, listlessness, comfortability, enjoyment, relaxation

With this, one now essentially see what Self in/as the Mind accept and allow to manifest as the Preprogrammed instruction that cause one to not physically move oneself to simply open one’s eyes, take a breath and stand up. From the above, one assist and support self in a process of Writing Self Forgiveness – to release self from the energy-relationships/attachments to sleeping/resting, instead of it simply being a practical action of resting one’s body, it becomes this entire consequential Mind-Process.

From here, now – understand: if/as one do not do the Commitments’ and Living Application specific enough – the Mind/Consciousness can accordingly ‘throw a punch’ in terms of bringing up similar/same mind processes to instruct you back into the Mind, instead of standing with you/who you are in/as your decision. SO – if you have not prepared the way before you effectively enough to STAND within a point, the Mind’s going to show it – and throw that resistance at you, and you can keep on going into that ring and FIGHTING it, and you will always lose. Cause, FIGHTING the mind is NOT the solution, you have to UNDERSTAND it to ‘conquer’ it, if you will. And to do this, is through the process of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective action as the living of the self-commitments.

THEN, once one had walked writing/self forgiveness – one have a look at what commitment statements one can establish that one from the Reinstruction, can immediately move one into Living Change. For example:

One can go the direct route of:

“When and as I see my Mind going into any other direction than be taking a breath and opening my eyes and getting up: I WITHOUT A MOMENT’S HESITATION speak to myself ALOUD “I’m UP” and in that speaking actually physically move myself UP – so that my spoken word and living word stand equal and one in that moment. As I see, realise and understand if I even for a moment entertain the mind/thoughts/backchat/energy – it just accumulates and becomes more difficult to move through it. And so, I then immediately direct me to speak the words “I’m Up” and physically move me up to stand up/get up”.

See, now the only step from here: is to actually DO IT. Walking so, commitment-instructions together with the living application, and knowing self as the Mind and when/as one is accessing it, instead of standing by self’s decision - will ensure that one’s internal and external process becomes more a MOVEMENT, a REINSTRUCTION process you have to stand with and stand by constantly and consistently, until the reinstruction becomes a natural living of/as Self.

Therefore, to conclude:

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the Extreme Polarities of accepting and allowing myself to go into and as Apathy/Laziness as submission to the Mind and my external world living responsibilities and going into and as Fighting towards the Mind and my external world living responsibilities. In both instances, I’m facing two extremes of Resistance – Resisting Change, in the one regarding apathy/laziness as Submissions, and in the one regarding Fighting I am actually CREATING the RESISTANCE to change, as I am fighting the very resistance I am supposed to move through/transcend into and as Change.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that the process of change should be me walking through a Waterfall – there’s going to be resistance as I move through the waterfall, but as I persist through the Waterfall, I move through into/as the Other Side, changed as the process of me moving through the resistance,  and as I remain constant/consistent in/as the process of change, I come through CHANGED in/as the other side. Whereas – with submission and fighting – I am attempting-to/try-to either just walk into a wall and fall back the whole time as what happens with submission, and/or trying to hit through the wall with my bare hands as the process of fighting. Not realising that, that wall IS ME I am fighting and fighting myself is really just stupid.

And so, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that: I will only go into submission and fighting to/towards that AS ME I don’t in fact understand, and in that understanding, being able to Stand AS IT and so change it AS ME. This is so demonstrated in for example human society today, where we have the extremes that just Submit to the World System and those that Fight it through Revolutions – neither Polarity Understand the extent of the System and our responsibility to it and what it will take to in fact change it as ourselves in Physical Space and Time practical living application and commonsense.

Thus, I commit myself:

to assist and support me to get to know the Mind as me, UNDERSTAND it, blueprint it through writing, self forgiveness and see what instructions I have automatically accepted and allowed, and then in the commitments RE-INSTRUCT who I am within myself and LIVE/APPLY that instruction, until I become it as a natural living me in the physical.

Featured Art Work by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

Youtube:                                

http://www.youtube.com/user/MarlenLife

http://www.youtube.com/user/MarlenVargasDelRazo

Blogs:

http://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com/