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Redefining RESPONSIBILITY in the Personal World: DAY 214


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Redefining RESPONSIBILITY in the Personal World: DAY 214

 I ate myself while trying to be Happy (2012)

211. Why is Life a Struggle? Why Can’t All be just HAPPY? « MarlenLife's Blog http://bit.ly/PPuRfP


Have you Seen my Happiness Anywhere? (Part 11)


FEAR of our own SHADOW – continued

EVIL – continued

The FORCE - continued



Who I Am as Money – continued

(To read this post, it must be understood that we’re walking this process/Blog - Heaven's Journey to Life multi-dimensionally, which means – each post covers one dimension, but is interconnected into/as multi-dimensions in our process of walking the point/question of “who I am” and how this “I” created/manifested this entire physical existence. Thus, suggested – to read this Blog from DAY 1, as many of the points in previous dimensions/DAYS/posts are always brought-through into the next days/dimensions/posts as all the dimensions interconnect as the multi-dimensionality we’ve created/manifested as our separation as Energy/Consciousness from/of Life/equality and Oneness. Thus, if one is faced with this post, and have not yet read this Blog from DAY 1 - suggest that self first start from DAY 1, as otherwise one will have no context of many dimensions that is walked in this post, that has been dealt with in detail in previous posts.)

For context from the previous posts:
We’re continuing with another Wool-Thread, disentangling the fluffy whiteness of the Mind/Energy experiences / illusions we hide within and behind as the Sheep’s Clothing, to unveil and expose the real Evil that we’ve become and from which we’ve created the good/positive/light and love, to see/realise and understand why/how it is that there exist no real, equal and one, physically lived good/positivity/love in this World and in the Minds/Lives of individual Human Beings – because it’s all just been an Illusion, created to hide the real inherent evil of the nature of our beingness as humans that is in fact creating/manifesting this world to be/become and accumulate into and as the consequence of evil/bad/negativity/darkness. And so, without facing the evil/bad/dark/negative, instead of understanding it, instead of establishing solutions for it to no more exist – we hide it/veil it, and actually in this, accept and allow it to accumulate – as what is showing/manifesting in the Mind and Lives of Human Beings today.

The Next wool-thread we’re walking is existent within the following statement:
“Live in this moment. Observe the world around you without entering its drama. Look in a mirror and see the timeless, ageless being you are. Happiness can only be found NOW, there is no other time.”

In and from this post, we’re continuing with the Self Commitment Statements as walked in the Part 8,  Part 9 and Part 10 of the Self-Forgiveness Statements walked within Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 and Part 7 – in assisting and supporting self to re-align the definition/relationship of ‘Happiness’, to have it not be/become a Veil of Energy within the Mind and behind one’s Physical Eyes, deluding oneself into an alternate reality that do not in fact exist – but to remain rooted/grounded here, within and as the Physical, Seeing Direct, and align oneself/one’s life to contributing to re-establishing Heaven on Earth, rather than contributing to the constant, continuous accumulation/proliferation of accepted and allowed suffering/consequence on Earth as what we’re currently, individually and collectively creating within/from who we are, how/what we live and the acceptances and allowances that’s come to Define ourselves, our living and so ‘life on earth’.

I commit myself to show, the accepted and allowed EVIL existent within the statement “Observe the world around you without entering its drama” within its relationship to our Personal World, as well as the World as Whole - within and as the Principle “as within so without”, from the perspective of: as we have established within the relationship of such a Statement to our Mind World, that it stands within the acceptance and allowance of ‘abdicating responsibility’ and so the proliferation of consequence of/as our own Creation as ourselves as what the Mind consist of/exist as. In that, it’s futile to just ‘observe’ as deny/suppress/ignore the ‘drama in the Mind’ – because it’s ALL Self, self’s own representations/reflections as what self accepted and allowed self to exist as and will not go away/change unless self deliberately, in awareness, stop and change such ‘Drama’ in the Mind for it to in fact no More exist. Because suppression only moves it into the Darkness of the layers/dimensions of the mind and the physical which our Conscious Mind Awareness do not reach – until eventually, we become the very Possession/Manifestation of the Darkness of/as Ourselves we’ve tried/attempted to ‘run from’. That, essentially – we’re creating the Darkness, more than actually Solving it and so, this applies to our worlds without – our Personal World and the World as a Whole, where we Observe as suppress/deny/ignore or shift the Evil in our personal worlds/this world as a whole into the shadows/darkness “out of sight / out of mind” – BUT, that in fact gives the darkness/the shadows power to accumulate/perpetuate itself in the places that we “don’t see / deliberately blind ourselves to” until eventually…it will come knocking in our minds/hearts and worlds as what is Happening to the Demonization of human beings and this World System’s relationship to humanity/this physical existence as a whole.

I commit myself to show the EVIL existent within the statement “Observe the world around you without entering its drama” within its relationship to our Personal World, as follows:
What must be seen, realised and understood is that the nature and experience of our relationships/social networks is founded within who/how we are and stand-as to/towards them. One can simply have a look at the extent to which – towards family, friends, partners, colleagues, acquaintances; how much more (especially within our Minds), opinions, conflict, ideas, perceptions, backchat as “Drama” exist about who/how they are in moments of interaction with them, in that – we have more of a relationship, to those ‘closest’ to us, in our MINDS than we in fact have any SUBSTANTIAL, real, meaningful, intimate relationships with them that “uplift” who/how they are in their nature/expression and so their lives as a whole. It’s like – there’s always this ‘invisible Glass Wall’ between us and our relationships that we never seem to breach/ ‘move beyond’ in really in-depth, unconditionally, getting to know one another – and that even goes for Family. Where, if anything – relationships are more defined within the context of ranges/levels of FEELING/experience in terms of ‘love / happiness’, but there’s no DEPTH, real substance to them in any way whatsoever. Depth, substance, intimacy, realness – meaning, we’re not in our relationships assisting and supporting ourselves and each other to be/become MORE in ourselves/our lives in terms of really developing/growing/expanding, like for example ASKING/INVESTIGATING or REALLY sitting down with each other and exploring the depths of issues/situations/problems and bringing through into actual solutions for our internal and external realities. We’re more within ourselves and towards each other evading problems/issues/conflict or inverting them into ourselves/our Minds – REACTING more to/towards each other within ourselves, than taking responsibility for those reactions within ourselves towards each other through communication/solutions. In this: leading to compromising relationships than relationships with any real value to ourselves/our lives/towards each other. And, this is to name but one/few dimensions to how we tend to separate ourselves from the Drama in our Mind in relationship to others, from other’s Drama in their lives and how both such Dramas in fact consequentially affect relationships.

In this, I commit myself to show that – with accepting and allowing a separation to the Drama/reactions/conflict for example, that exist in our Minds and actual participation/interaction with others: this leads to all involved in the relationship more ‘inverting’ their issues/problems in their relationship to themselves/others that lead to presentations/embodiments of ‘fake personalities’ with putting a smile on the face, while in the reality of the Mind – the exact opposite exist. Within this, one can self-honestly investigate the percentage of how much one’s relationship to others is more defined/existent in/as ‘Drama in the Mind’ – even while one is talking/participating with them, than it in fact being Genuine, Real, Self-Honest interactions between two Beings with the extent of relationships we form in our MINDS towards others, based on Energy and Reaction. And in this, we accept and allow ourselves, then - to not in fact SEE each other, not in fact HEAR each other – as the MIND is so busy with our own Dramas that we can’t see/hear beyond our own Minds. That we would, for example – not see the Pain within another’s eyes while they put a smile on their face, that we wouldn’t hear the anger in their voice while they’re speaking of seemingly mundane/ordinary things, that we wouldn’t see the effort they have to place into speaking about something/someone as it inflict some form of regret/guilt – I mean, all we’d see/hear is our interpretations/perceptions/ideas based on the relationship we formed with them in the Mind. That we’re so busy with relationships in the MIND, that we do not even see, realise and understand that we’ve never in fact developed real intimacy with even those closest to us, real communication, a genuine depth of ‘knowing’ each other, of trust in communication in really being able to ‘open up’ and be self-honest and at the same time guide, assist and support each other to realisation, solution and eventual transformation. I mean, have a look at how little time is spent with communication about self / each other / the relationship – and how much more time is spent ‘shopping’ / ‘drinking’ / ‘going out’ and during/within that time – speaking/communicating about nothing meaningful that would in any way contribute to oneself/one’s life or the relationship between the two?

I commit myself to show, that it’s really time to re-evaluate the nature, the substance, the REALNESS of our relationships – both to ourselves and to others. Because, at the moment – with having a look at the nature of human beings / humanity, we’re in no way ‘evolving’ in terms of who we are/how/what we live within the context of ANY principles, whatsoever that contribute to life on earth for All. I mean, for example – friendships/family are more aligned within the Consumerism System that benefit, than ourselves within who we are; that can be done through simple COMMUNICATION and developing real, substantial, intimate relationships of actual assistance and support. And, with us being defined by/through who we are and how/what we live – especially in/as our relationships, such a CHANGE within human beings can/will only develop from/of the starting point of SELF-CHANGE and so from there, change in/as what we will accept/allow in our relationships and what not. And, this stand more specifically in alignment with ‘life prioritizing’, in the sense that – we really individually and collectively have to start OPENING OUR EYES and WAKING UP to the fact that, time is drawing near where we cannot put our self-interest / individual pursuit of happiness ABOVE/as more than ‘all life on earth’; I mean, the Money/World System is already making sure of that in terms of the extent of conditions that the majority of humanity face within this world/reality. That we have to consider that that could’ve been us and may even be us in the future and so to start taking that Responsibility to who we are within, who we are without in expanding, developing and growing our Awareness into/as existence as a whole and align ourselves/this world to a SOLUTION for ALL and not be blinded to the consequence we’re creating in the shadows/darkness of our Minds and in this World that is slowly, but surely becoming the HELL that will consume us All, internally and externally.

In this, I commit myself to show – thus, what is RESPONSIBILITY within the context of one’s personal world? To really have a look at the current nature/experience of “who I am” in/as one’s relationships – how little one in fact Know about/of other human beings. To, assist and support self to stop participation in one’s REACTIONS/judgments/inner conflict/drama towards others – but take SELF Responsibility FIRST and investigate through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application what the other is MIRRORING to self, within self. Such as, whenever one react Negatively towards another and develop an issue about them in the Mind, they’re mirroring a part of self that self hasn’t faced/dealt with/directed and when one react Positively towards another – it indicate that the other is Mirroring a point/part within self, self has not yet Accepted/Lived as Self. So, one first sort out one’s Relationship to others WITHIN SELF. Because, one will not be able to develop real relationships with others, if one have not yet even started with ONESELF. Because one’s Mind is so busy with OTHERS – ‘where are YOU’ within it all, then? And additionally, one cannot really SEE/HEAR the reality of another human being, if one only SEE/HEAR them according to HOW SELF defined them in ONE’S MIND and so one will always only see/hear them according to one’s own Mind, and not according to who they are within/as themselves. Furthermore – taking such SELF Responsibility first, for one’s own Mind, will ensure that self do not project one’s own Issues/Problems onto/towards others, but first sort SELF out to ensure that when/as assisting and supporting another, one is in fact HEARING/SEEING them in/as who they are and not through your own issues/problems. So, here as well – the EVIL existent within the statement “Observe the world around you without entering its drama” – that we don’t see/realise and understand how others in fact represent MIRRORS of ourselves that we can utilize to assist/support ourselves within in/as our own development/expansion/growth and eventually to really be able to assist/support others. And so, we’re trapped, limited and compromised and so eventually diminish within and as our accepted and allowed abdication of Responsibility towards ourselves and others – Never SOLVING relationships to being/becoming MORE, but only accumulating consequence, conflict and separation: no wonder we can’t co-exist for real, as we cannot even do this in/as the most closest relationships in our own personal worlds.


We’ll continue this in the Next Post




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Friendship Suspicion Character – Part Two: DAY 92


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Friendship Suspicion Character – Part Two: DAY 92


(To read this post, it must be understood that we’re walking this process/Blog - Heaven's Journey to Life multi-dimensionally, which means – each post covers one dimension, but is interconnected into/as multi-dimensions in our process of walking the point/question of “who I am” and how this “I” created/manifested this entire physical existence. Thus, suggested – to read this Blog from DAY 1, as many of the points in previous dimensions/DAYS/posts are always brought-through into the next days/dimensions/posts as all the dimensions interconnect as the mutli-dimensionality we’ve created/manifested as our separation as Energy/Consciousness from/of Life/equality and Oneness. Thus, if one is faced with this post, and have not yet read this Blog from DAY 1 - suggest that self first start from DAY 1, as otherwise one will have no context of many dimensions that is walked in this post, that has been dealt with in detail in previous posts.)




Who I Am as Money – continued

As mentioned in the previous post, we’re continuing with Friendship-Suspicion Character Part Two in walking the details of what thoughts, internal conversations/backchat arise/manifest within us within and during the Suspicion-Character possession, how Consciousness bring up a myriad of thoughts and memories we try and analyse/assess the why/how of the change/inconsistency IN OUR MINDS, instead of simply ASKING as the extent of fear we exist in, in protecting and defending our character/personality that we would  not even consider ASKING, directly as this in itself may prove a potential threat/change to our characters/personality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, in equality and oneness with and as Life, energy and substance, the mind and the physical, from the beginning to now, seen, realised and understood what processes manifest within my Mind-Physical existence when and as another human being/friend is ‘under suspicion’ within and as my Consciousness through and as the activation of and as the ‘Suspicion-Character’. Where, the detail of what manifest within me is:
What the primary purpose is of this ‘Suspicion-Character’ – as it is the primary purpose of Consciousness within and as my entire Mind-Physical Existence: is the protection/defence of my definitions/characters/personalities of and as me as the Mind, which always in all ways comes first. And so, when and as within the ‘glass window pane’, my consciousness detect any changes/inconsistencies within the other human being/friend’s character as manifested in their behaviour, presentation and speech, an immediate/instant activation of the ‘Suspicion-Character’ ensue, where Consciousness with that one memory, with the highlighted inconsistencies/changes transfer itself into the centre of the Mind/head/brain region and I become an entire possession of Consciousness, the one Memory and the ‘Suspicion-Character’ that in ‘real time’ through my Physical-Mind Eyes – scan and zone in onto and as the inconsistencies/changes; with the processes that manifest within me in and as this possession is as follows:
As my Physical-Mind Eyes as Consciousness zone-in on the inconsistencies/changes as highlighted within the memory, within and as my ‘Suspicion-Character’ – Consciousness simultaneously from and of that One Memory manifested in the centre of the Mind/Head/Brain region, will resonate the information as the highlighted inconsistencies/changes within and throughout itself, into and as the Unconscious/Physical-Mind in the search for any similar/same inconsistencies/changes I have been confronted with in the past, where this Character/Personality that is now under ‘threat of change’, had faced similar/same instances of inconsistencies/changes in another. To from there: be able to assess/determine the ‘course of action’ to be taken to protect/defend the Character/Personality and/or to assess/determine the extent of the threat/change to/towards the Character/Personality of myself. Where, while this is happening/manifesting within and as Consciousness and my Unconscious-Mind – I am in my Conscious and Subconscious-Mind being preoccupied with Thoughts and Internal-Conversations/Backchat about/of the human being/friend’s changes/inconsistencies within and as my ‘Suspicion-Character’ physical-behaviour, with my body tensing within the chest, upper-arms, neck and shoulders area with my tensed eyes and smile as my Thoughts, Internal Conversations and Reactions are floundering within me, whilst still maintaining a cordialness in my external physical presentation/behaviour/communication – ‘multi-tasking’ my participation with and as this human being, existing and functioning within two multi-dimensional worlds at once.
In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the nature of the Thoughts, Internal-Conversations and Backchats that manifest within and as me as the ‘Suspicion-Character’ whilst my Consciousness is from and of the one Memory in the centre of the Mind, fishing for similar/same memories/instances/past experiences where this Character/Personality faced similar/same moments with other human beings. Where, this ‘fishing’ for memories – is for ANY and ALL memories where this character/personality reacted in fear/resistance as friction/conflict, which could be from movie-scenes with actors/actresses certain behaviours, presentation and speech, from images/pictures in magazines where models were posed in a certain behavioural-instant to/towards which my character/personality reacted in fear/resistance, from conversations OBSERVED within a group of people, where this character/personality reacted in fear/resistance: literally ANY and ALL memories are searched in ANY and ALL contexts of any instances where the highlighted inconsistencies/changes are existent in memories that this particular character/personality may/might have faced.
Which within this, is why/how – as we are in ‘real time’ participating with this human being/friend, our Thoughts can come up with the most far-out ridiculous conclusions regarding their change/inconsistency in behaviour/speech/presentation as a various/multitude of memories and thought-patterns are activated by/through the ‘Suspicion-Character’ in relationship to Consciousness, to rather fuel the fear and resistance and friction/conflict relationship within myself to/towards the human being/friend within my Mind, than simply directly ask about the noticed/prevalent change in behaviour, presentation/speech. Where an entire internal war is waged within self, than simply communicating, here – because as mentioned, I would rather protect and defend my character/personality, make up reasons/why’s in my Mind for the change/inconsistency, accumulating a myriad of reasons/why’s in fear/resistance as reaction, than having to go to the point of asking and having to deal-with ‘new knowledge and information’ that I’d have to filter, analyse and assess regarding whether I will accept/allow this new knowledge and information into and as my character/personality or whether I will downright resist/deny it to protect/defend my character/personality without even really investigating/exploring the new knowledge and information for IN CASE it may lead to change.
In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how, within and as the activation, manifestation and ‘possession’ of myself within and as the ‘Suspicion-Character’, to/towards another human being/friend’s inconsistencies/changes; the reason why and how so many Thought-Patterns, Internal Conversations/backchats and seemingly arbitrary/random memories will arise within the Secret of my Mind, is because: Consciousness – when and as it find/allocate any memory/past experience within my Unconscious/Physical-Mind database where this Character/Personality had faced any similar/same instances of fear/resistance reaction to/towards anything/anyone’s similar/same inconsistencies/changes: will bring-up those memories into and as the Conscious-Mind, align it with the Memory in the centre of the Mind/head/brain region and so ‘test’ whether the memories containing our character/personality that is currently under threat of change – had faced any similar/same instances, whether towards actual human beings, in movie-scenes with actors/actresses, in magazines or observing other human beings from afar. Thus, any and all thoughts, memories that ‘activate’ within the Mind during and within the Suspicion-Character activation, will be in an equal and one alignment to the current ‘real time’ participation with the actual human being/friend and their inconsistencies/changes and our reactions of fear/resistance to/towards them as this Suspicion-Character hold us within a state of Fear/Resistance as the ‘frontman’ that stand before our Character/Personality to protect/defend our definition of who we are of and as Mind. And so, essentially – the stream of thought-patterns/memories that manifest/preoccupy my Mind, is Consciousness in the process of ‘testing/cross-referencing’ selected memories/past experiences that is similar/the same to the one I’m facing in ‘real time’ to attempt/try to formulate a ‘course of action’.

I commit myself to show, thus – with this very manifestation of the ‘Suspicion-Character’-existing that has become automated in our Consciousness/Mind-Physical existence, places into question whether any REAL relationship exist, as we do not immediately go into the point of simply ASKING or actually communicating within the ACTUAL REAL PHYSICAL REALITY, but will trust our assumptions/interpretations that manifest within our Conscious and Subconscious Mind first, as Thought-Patterns and Internal-Conversations/Backchats together with reactions of emotions/feelings to come up with reasons and whys: Trusting MEMORY and experiences, knowledge and information, instead of actual real physical communication.
Where, we as characters/personalities fear change to such an extent – that any and all ‘New knowledge and information’ is confronted with immediate Fear/Resistance, together with a ‘Suspicion-Character’ that activate, that will firstly cross-reference the ‘New knowledge and information’ against the framework of our Character/Personality to first analyse/assess the potential changes that could/may/might manifest in our Character/Personality.
In this, I commit myself to show, that ‘fear of change’ – cannot exist within and as the full absolute trust and standing of who self is within the principle of and as what’s best for all/equality and oneness in an equal and one within and without living of ‘who I am’. Where self is the TRUST that stand here with and as self, and will within this – assess all knowledge and information within the starting-point of what is/will be best for all, and so for self; assessing knowledge and information with regards to how it can contribute to the life of all as with mine. And so, thus, where ‘fear of change’ and resistance to ‘new knowledge and information’ can only exist when/as we have a solidified/cemented character/personality within our Minds, that serves ONLY ourselves within particular-specific wants, needs and desires. And so will essentially only meet with new knowledge and information in fear of change/resistance, when there is in fact a hidden/secret want, need and desire within and behind that Character/Personality self is protecting/defending that serve only self’s interests.
Which, within this – is primarily why/how human beings within their characters/personalities will resist/fear the message/standing of what’s best for all/equality and oneness, because of fear of losing personal/individual/self-interested wants, needs and desires that characters/personalities protect/defend; and that serve only the wants, needs and desires of the Individual – with no consideration/regard/care for anything/anyone else but the secrets we protect and defend in our Minds within and as our characters/personalities of Mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, in equality and oneness with and as Life, energy and substance, the mind and the physical, from the beginning to now – seen, realised and understood the nature of the Thoughts, Backchats/Internal Conversations and Reactions that manifest within being confronted with a human being/friend that presented changes/inconsistencies in their presentation/behaviour/speech, where for example:
Let’s say the Character/Personality this ‘friend/human being’ secure, is one of the Primary Characters I developed, constructed/manifested within and during my childhood in my relationship with my parents/family/peers; as the origin of the creation, construction and manifestation of the Primary Characters/Personalities we physically embody/live-out. Which I then secure within ‘Friendship-Relationships’ to maintain/sustain such Primary Characters/Personality I created, constructed and manifested within and towards Family. So that when and as I ‘leave the nest’ of Family, that secured such Characters/Personalities - I can continue securing such Characters/Personalities within and as Friendship-Relationships, aligning myself with Friends/Human Beings that is similar/the same to my Primary Character/Personality.
Thus, essentially – even within and as ‘friendships’, I ‘protect and defend’ my Character/Personality and so thus my Family-network/relationships origins within and as my Mind-Physical Existence. Even though I create/manifest Characters/Personalities in opposition/equality to/towards and from Family/Parents/Peers: I always still solidify/cement the very Family-Construct within and as my Mind-Physical Existence. Because, even the Characters/Personalities I create, manifest and construct – either in deliberate opposition/equality from and of what I copied/imitated from my external reality/world, and drew from within my Memories of the Unconscious Mind Platform of my Parents’ Minds/Memories as Characters, both the opposition/equality Characters/Personalities still originate from my Parents’ Minds/Memories. And so, when and as I align my Characters/Personalities, whether in opposition/equality to/towards my Parents/Family/Peer to/towards particular friendship-relationships: I am still always in all ways in my Mind, cementing/solidifying my ‘who I am’ in my co-dependent/interconnected relationship to/towards Family/Parents/Peers from and of which I have become a direct/opposite copy/imitation. And this thus the function of ‘Friendship-Relationships’: solidifying/cementing the copy/imitation/replica I have become from and of my Parents/Family/Peers, internally and externally – always ensuring that I remain the same in my Primary Characters/Personality I created, manifested and constructed from and of my Childhood.

Now that we understand the why/how we manifest the ‘Suspicion-Character’ to/towards friends in protecting and defending our Character/Personality, essentially our wants, needs and desires of and as self-interest that we developed/manifested from and of our Family/those that have gone before us: we’ll in the next post continue with the Practical Example of the detail of the Thoughts, Internal Conversations and reactions that manifest in our Minds in relationship to another human being, to assist/support self in seeing/realising/understanding when and as the Suspicion-Character activate, to in this – instead of fortifying self in and as the Mind, to simply ASK and assess the information within the principle of and as what’s best for all/equality and oneness, to stop existing in fear of change, and really learn the potential of expanding/learning/growing from others as self. 

I commit myself to show, how – the Primary Characters/Personality we embody/live-out, that is aligned within and as our ‘friendship-relationships’: is/has been constructed/manifested/created from and of our Family/Parents/Peers within and during our formative/childhood years. Where, our friendship-relationships essentially stand as ‘Guards’ to our Primary Characters/Personalities within ourselves, protecting and defending our Authorities as Primary Characters/Personalities we developed, constructed and manifested from and of Parents/Family/Peers in and as our within and without. Where our Characters/Personalities will accordingly align us into and as relationships with friends that is the similar/same to our Characters/Personalities, and so: we continue as the copies/imitations/replicas of and as Family/Parents/Peers which we cement/solidify within and as friendships. With the nature of friendships thus only to protect/defend our definitions of mind to ensure we do not ever in fact really Change, but can always in all ways remain the same…which is why and how humanity as the nature of ourselves throughout the generations have never in fact really changed, as generation after generation after generation, we protect and defend the honour of the Mind/personalities/characters that had been transferred/copied/imitated by us from our within and without through and as our Parents/those that have gone before us, living out the exact same/similar lives as we aligned ourselves in our Mind-Physical existence, and Friendships and eventually Partners to the exact same/similar lives of our Parents/Family/Peers. Only existing in the Honour of the Mind/Sins of the Fathers as ourselves – within and as complete dishonour to/towards reality/the physical as Life, with friendships thus in itself – existing only for the interest of the individual, and in neither instances within friendship relationships has to do with the totality of who each individual really is.

I commit myself to show, thus – that the starting-point creation, construction and manifestation of who we are within our within and without originate from and of our internal and external relationships to Family/Parents/Peers. And so – the change required for our very nature/living, has to start with identifying the characters/personalities we’ve copied/imitated from those that have gone before us, to assess such characters/personalities within equality and oneness/what’s best for all, re-align our characters to the One Character of and as Life in equality and oneness with and as the Physical as Living Character of what is/will be best for all; so that within and as this starting-point, we within ourselves stop the existence of the sins of the fathers, stop living as memories from OTHER’S MIND’S/PAST and in fact be/become the generation that prepares a world/reality of Life for all in equality and oneness Here.
And so, I commit myself to – assist and support me, to stand within and as the principle of and as what’s best for all/equality and oneness, where within this standing/starting-point I can walk this World-System/Humanity and determine what within this world/the mind of me can/will stand within what’s best for all/equality and oneness, what requires/needs changing/alteration and/or what simply cannot stand at all. In this, giving up my personal wants, needs and desires within the Secrets of my Mind that has lead me to become a deceptive fearful human being, interpreting and assuming everything/everyone to be a potential threat, just to protect/defend my Mind/Secrets. So that I can be/become a living example to in fact LIVE and stop being the EVIL I have become in placing my Mind first above all life in and as equality and oneness here in and as this physical existence, and take responsibility for me as all as me, to finally align us as Living Beings, instead of the inner and outer Evil that has consumed/possessed this existence as a whole. And so re-reverse myself from Evil, to Live – to be/become a living example of stopping existing as the Mind/Memories and in fact Living equality and oneness here, for me as all as me.



 
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Friendship Suspicion Character – Part One: DAY 91


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 Friendship Suspicion Character – Part One: DAY 91



(To read this post, it must be understood that we’re walking this process/Blog - Heaven's Journey to Life multi-dimensionally, which means – each post covers one dimension, but is interconnected into/as multi-dimensions in our process of walking the point/question of “who I am” and how this “I” created/manifested this entire physical existence. Thus, suggested – to read this Blog from DAY 1, as many of the points in previous dimensions/DAYS/posts are always brought-through into the next days/dimensions/posts as all the dimensions interconnect as the mutli-dimensionality we’ve created/manifested as our separation as Energy/Consciousness from/of Life/equality and Oneness. Thus, if one is faced with this post, and have not yet read this Blog from DAY 1 - suggest that self first start from DAY 1, as otherwise one will have no context of many dimensions that is walked in this post, that has been dealt with in detail in previous posts.)




Who I Am as Money – continued

As mentioned in the previous post, we’re in and from this post continuing walking the process of what manifest when another’s character/personality is changed/inconsistent to who/how they exist-as in our memories in alignment to our character/personality we secured/protected/defended in our relationship with them; what processes manifest in our Conscious/Subconscious Mind as internal conversations/backchats, to in/as fear – assess/determine whether they are/will be a threat/change to our self-definitions. And how we will accordingly change in our behaviour as our protection/defence mechanisms as resistance we go into for a moment while we determine/assess in our Minds/through asking questions whether the reality of the threat/change is ‘real’ as re-assessing whether we’ll stay in relationship with them or slowly, but surely start the process of severing the ties ‘cordially’ or through manifesting deliberate external friction/conflict within the relationship to justify/excuse why/how the relationship cannot work, when in fact: it was always in all ways only to protect/defend our own personality/character as definitions of Mind/Consciousness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, in equality and oneness with and as Life, energy and substance, the Mind and the Physical, from the beginning to now – seen, realised and understood the processes involved within me as the Mind and the characters/definitions I have manifested/created as representatives/versions of and as ‘who I am’ as the Mind/Consciousness, when and as I interact/participate with another human-being as ‘friend’ that within and during a physical-reality participation/interaction exposed some inconsistencies/changes within their external/physical behaviour/demeanour. Where I through and as my Mind-Physical Eyes, took the present-moment interaction/participation with the human being/friend into and as a Memory within and on the ‘glass window pane’ within the Unconscious/Physical-Mind, where my Consciousness scanned/‘security checked’ the alignments within and between my character/personality and the friend’s character/personality, as that Memory of the present-moment contain all the detail of our physical-reality interaction/participation as characters/personalities as a ‘live moment replica’ of what happened in real-time in the physical. And, the moment my Consciousness detect inconsistencies/changes within the memory of the present-moment within and on the ‘glass-window pane; within the memory itself - my character/personality goes into resonant friction/conflict and the entire memory of the present-moment move into and as a negative-experience charge of fear/resistance, as my character/personality in the memory go into fear/resistance to/towards the character/personality of the other human being/friend’s character/personality.
Where, from within and as this moment – Consciousness move itself and the memory into and as the centre of the Mind/head/brain region, where as Consciousness and as this Memory – what I will activate within my Subconscious and Unconscious Mind is my ‘protection and defence’-character. The character/personality that will emerge/manifest ‘in real time’ within physical interaction/participation, that I created/constructed/manifested within me with specific Thought-Patterns, Internal Conversations and Reactions of emotions/feelings when and as my Consciousness of and as me ‘alert’ me within and as the Memory in my relationship to the human being, that there were inconsistencies/changes that could prove a potential threat/change to my character/personality definition of Mind/Consciousness which that friend/human being secured, protected/defended.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the difference within the automation of the consciousness-scan within and on the memories of the glass-window pane and me with and as consciousness and a memory manifesting ‘real-time assessments/analyses scans’ of and as the interaction/participation with other human beings, where:
When and as the ‘friendship relationship’ between my character and the friend’s character is aligned, consciousness can automatically manifest the present-moment aligned-memory from the ‘glass-window pane’ into the centre of the Mind/head/brain region within which that memory with my character/personality definition to/towards the friend will then activate in my entire Mind-Physical relationship as that memory resonate within and throughout my Mind-Physical existence, and will accordingly automatically think, speak and behave in equal and one alignment to and as the particular-specific character/personality I created/manifested/constructed within me that my friend is securing/validating within our relationship.
However – when and as this alignment between the characters is inconsistent/changed; from and of the memory within the ‘glass-window pane’, where my character/personality will go into resonant reaction of friction/conflict as fear/resistance, this moment activate within my Mind-Physical existence a/the ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’, that I will come to physically embody/enact. With this ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’ that will, together with consciousness – in ‘real time’ as and while I am physically participating/interacting with the human being/friend, will ‘scan’ as scrutinize the inconsistencies/changes of the human being/friend that within the centre of the Mind/head/brain region within the Memory was ‘highlighted’ as the behaviour/presentation/speech of the human being/friend that was ‘different’/changed. And where I’d through my Physical-Mind Eyes as this Memory, with Consciousness and my ‘Suspicion-Character/Personality’ converse with myself within myself as the backchat/internal conversations, thought-patterns and reactions while simultaneously in that moment physically changing in behaviour/presentation within and as this ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’, where my physical-body will contract/stiffen/become tense, becoming reserved in my interaction/participation with them, as in the back of my Mind I’m playing ‘spy games’ with binocular Mind-Physical Eyes focussed on the changes/inconsistencies in assessing/determining whether the inconsistencies/changes are a potential/real threat/change to my definitions/character/personality that this friend/human being had secured/validated/protected/defended.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, in equality and oneness with and as Life, energy and substance, the mind and the physical – from the beginning to now, seen, realised and understood – how and why, in moments of interaction/participation with friends/human beings, with me as consciousness seeing/detecting inconsistencies/changes in their behaviour/presentation of which I have no prior knowledge and information, where I’d immediately as consciousness place them under suspicion within my Mind/myself.  As within and during the interaction, when and as my ‘Suspicion-Character/Personality’ activate the moment the Memory is centred within the Mind, with the changes/inconsistencies highlighted and my Physical-Mind Eyes binoculars focus on the changes/inconsistencies as Consciousness scan the human being/friend in ‘real time’ as and while I am interacting/participating with them:
I ‘step back’ within myself into my Mind, where within and during this process – my physical-body contracts/becomes tense, signified by the chest-area subtly going tighter, together with the upper-arms, shoulders and neck-area, where within the corners and alignments of my eyes and mouth I will be able to clearly physically-‘feel’ that my smile and looking and physical-behaviour is not ‘genuine’. As what is really going on within the Secret-Mind in my conversation with myself, together with a myriad of thoughts/memories emerging in the Conscious-Mind that bring with it reactions of emotions/feelings as I am in ‘real time’ as consciousness – scanning through multi-dimensional memories/past experiences to/towards which I experienced fear/resistance to see if my friend/human beings’ inconsistencies/changes relate to anything/anyone similar I had interacted with in the past in the memories of my Unconscious-Mind. To through this memory database-scan – see if I can find, when/where/towards who/what I have experienced/faced similar changes/inconsistencies to from there determine/assess my continued relationship with this human being/friend.
While within and during all of this – scanning with my Physical-Mind Eyes as Consciousness, scrutinizing any detail/signs of their behaviour/presentation/speech that can give clues to the how and why they are inconsistent/changed; while at the same time – still conversing and behaving to/towards them, but very reservedly as I go into complete protection/defence mode; to not expose any ‘vulnerability’ for in case I require preparing myself to end/sever the relationship to protect/defend my character/personality.

I commit myself to show – the extent to which miscommunication manifest within and between human beings/friends within and during such ‘Suspicion-Character/Personality’-activations. Where we’d more trust our Memories of previous-interactions/experiences that have shown similar/same inconsistencies/changes and within our Minds will make up reasons/why’s for the changes/inconsistencies in the other human being/friend’s behaviour/presentation, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING THEM the detail of the noticed changed in behaviour/presentation. And will say nothing verbally to them, but will within our Minds ‘make up our Minds’ regarding the changes we noticed/observed, and most often will not ask the other human being/friend about the changes, but will simply ‘trust’ the experience/reaction of resistance/fear and what Consciousness brought up in the Thoughts/Memories and Internal-Conversations/Backchat about/of the POSSIBLE reason of the why/how the human being/friend had maybe/could have changed in some minor details in their behaviour/presentation.
And where we will thus, reservedly continue interacting with/participating with the human being/friend from that moment forth – always holding onto, additionally that memory of the change/inconsistencies together with the thoughts, memories/internal conversations and reactions that we had to/towards the friend/human beings’ changes/inconsistencies, never explaining the reason for the change in behaviour/relationship of ourselves to/towards the other human being as we from that moment forth always activate the ‘Suspicion Character/Personality’ with them. Because what always ‘comes first’ within and during such situations is our character/personality, and will thus rather trust the fear/resistance experienced, together with the thoughts, memories, reactions and internal conversations we brought-up and manifested regarding the POSSIBLE why/how of the change/inconsistency; instead of simply ASKING. As, we unconsciously know – that within the ASKING, we may be confronted with information that could/may/possible lead to potential change within US that could be considered and lead to an alteration/change within our character/personality definition/living, and so would rather ‘make up our minds’ within ourselves with knowledge and information WE KNOW and have control over and of, than face the possibility/potential of change.

I commit myself to show, the extent to which a few minor inconsistencies/changes in another’s behaviour/presentation can possess one’s mind for days/weeks/months – accumulating all sorts/kinds of possible ‘maybe’s’ regarding the why/how of the change, as we’d possess ourselves in such a state to/towards another human being/friend to rather protect/defend our character/personality with not having to ask/be confronted with knowledge and information that could possibly lead to a potential change/consideration of change within ourselves/our character/personality. And so we’d be satisfied with the thoughts, memories and reactions consciousness as ourselves bring to the fore within ourselves as reasons to the why/how of the change/inconsistency – preoccupying our Minds extensively, every time we think about/interact/participate with this particular human being/friend as the extent to which we’d possess ourselves to only protect/defend a character/personality as the extent of fear we in fact exist within, always in all ways – looking out for possible/potential threats to our definitions/characters/personalities.
In this, I commit myself to show the extent to which we exist in fear of protecting/defending our characters/personalities that we’d go to the extremes of, when/as our Minds ‘made up’ possible reasons to the why/how of change – we’d go to OTHER FRIENDS and converse about the changes/inconsistencies of this particular human being/friend and what one’s Mind decided / came up with as possible reasons to the change/inconsistencies. Where the Minds in Gossip can come up with the most ridiculous ‘out there’ reasons/why’s – when NOTHING is in fact the reality of the changes/inconsistencies of the other human being/friend, because ALL of it came from within THEIR MINDS, and in no way directly asked the individual about the changes/inconsistencies and the why’s/how’s. As friends group together in gossip to protect/defend their own and each other’s characters/personalities from potential threat/change to their agreed relationship of protecting/defending each other’s characters/personalities, to when/as a friend/human being indicate changes/inconsistencies – to first determine alone/together in each other’s Minds and with each other’s Minds whether the relationship with that one human being will stand or remain. All of this done: because of FEAR, as indicating the extent to which we trust our MINDS, instead of REALITY of ASKING another human being/actually communicating with them.

We’ll in the next post continue with Friendship-Suspicion Character Part Two in walking the details of what thoughts, internal conversations/backchat arise/manifest within us within and during the Suspicion-Character possession, how Consciousness bring up a myriad of thoughts and memories we try and analyse/assess the why/how of the change/inconsistency IN OUR MINDS, instead of simply ASKING as the extent of fear we exist in, in protecting and defending our character/personality that we would  not even consider ASKING, directly as this in itself may prove a potential threat/change to our characters/personality. 



 
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