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Relationships: Hope and Fear of Death - DAY 490


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Relationships: Hope and Fear of Death - DAY 490
The Moment of Shock


Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Twelve)

I will in the next post continue more with how suppression influence our Minds and Bodies and so affects our words and behaviour and what we create and so experience in our relationship with others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how all my mind-suppressions within and during a long-term relationship – contributed to the moment of shock, trauma and stress that my physical body endured; the moment I knew and realised that the individual will not be in my life anymore. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in that moment separate myself from me, from breath, from the physical body – where I went into a state where it for a moment felt like everything went quiet within me, this darkness overwhelming me, my heart racing, my breathing becoming heavy and fast, my body shaking – with still a part of me holding onto hope, while everything within me was showing ‘it is done’.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to then take a moment and introspect / investigate this shift that manifested within me, where I was in a state of silence – everything stopping within me, yet my physical body was embodying the state / condition of shock, trauma and stress. How, what happens within and during a long-term relationships – is a ‘timelessness’ is created within the Mind, where you make yourself believe that you control the timing of death and/or the unpredictability of life and so therefore can hold onto the individual in such a way where death and/or separation by circumstance does not exist within and as you. Fascinating how, the more you say ‘you’re not going to die anytime soon’ / ‘you will be alive and well until then’ / ‘we will always be together’ / ‘nothing can ever happen that will separate me from you’…what such words in fact translate is the extent of fear that is existent within the Mind in relation to death / separation by circumstance that you try and cover up with ‘beautiful words’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words ‘you’re not going to die anytime soon’ / ‘you will be alive and well until then’ / ‘you and the body are fine’ / ‘you have to make sure you don’t die before then’ – nothing will happen to you anytime soon’ as beautiful cover-ups for the reality of the fact that I do not control death, I do not control the life path of an individual when it comes to death; but I did not want to within myself accept the reality of this relationship to death and the unpredictable nature of life and the fact that I do not have any control / choice within it all – because I was afraid to accept it and with that acceptance, was afraid of what it would reveal / expose about me, my relationship with the other.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how such statements of delusion was rooted in ‘hope’, where – because of the fear of death / separation by circumstance, I irresponsibly rather shifted into ‘hope’ within myself that I would perpetuate and feed with such statements spoken out loud / within myself – as though some force within existence will hear my plea and not let such things as Death / Separation by circumstance come to pass – and only come to pass when I say that I am ready. Not seeing, realising and understanding that I would never have been ready, because I did not face the fears in my mind, I was not self-honest with my relationship to such fears – but instead hid it behind hope and beautiful words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide the fear of death / separation by circumstance from another behind hope / beautiful words – not realising how such an accepted and allowed suppression would contribute to the physical moment of shock, trauma and stress in that: I had created an alternate reality in my Mind where I made myself believe, with hope and beautiful words that I do in some way control life and death, that I can decide when a moment of separation can come to pass – but then…the unpredictable nature of life and death came knocking in/as the most unexpected of moments – reminding me of the fact that I do not control death; and it is in that moment that the shock, trauma and stress of loss can manifest to such an extent; as all your suppressions were futile and the eventuality of facing yourself, the suppressions is right here – physically manifested: nowhere to run and nowhere to hide / suppress – but facing yourself and your acceptances and allowances.

In the next post, I will continue with how this polarity-separation of hope and fear contribute to a split that manifests within and as self, a split from self, the body and so reality – into an alternate reality in the mind, that contribute to the extent of impact shock, trauma and stress manifest within self and so the physical body; and how to assist and support oneself to practically prepare oneself and so face the reality of the fact that death is unpredictable and so minimize the effect of shock, trauma and stress the moment something unpredictable happens in your relationship  with yourself / another.

One Memory + One Moment + Losing Touch with Reality = Recipe for Disaster: DAY 449


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One Memory + One Moment + Losing Touch with Reality = Recipe for Disaster: DAY 449


A while back I was watching an episode of the series “Supernatural” and this man was sitting on a chair, two guys approaching him. The man on the chair was sitting as though he was sleeping, with his head slightly bowed down. One of the two guys approaching the man on the chair then takes off a hat he was wearing, and as they pulled off the hat – half his brain was exposed with worms oozing out of it. Lol – so, that scene was quite unexpected / ‘out of the ordinary’ of what one would see in reality / everyday life. So, I grimaced at the prospect of actually, in reality, seeing something like that. Then, the next day – I was walking in the fields, on the way to horses and I had an itch on my scalp and as I was about to scratch it – there pops-up the Memory of this particular scene. Immediately in that moment I stopped – having a look at what had just happened, because many of us would think something like that to be “normal / okay / ordinary” – but, there is in fact more going on within/behind it all than one would realise and this is what I am going to discuss in this interview.

Firstly, I looked at the moment I saw the scene – the reaction I had within myself, and this is something that series/movies/shows often ‘play on’ within the Minds of human beings: it is ‘geared’ to make us react/respond energetically within emotions/feelings – this primarily done through taking the series/movies/shows as far from reality/the real world as possible; which would produce emotional/feeling responses/reactions, because it is not aligned with reality/the real world in fact or rather, not aligned with the reality/real world that most of us are exposed to in our lives. Therefore, with scenes / storylines ‘losing touch with reality’ – our Minds do not have the ‘tools’ with how to equate a commonsensical relationship to what one see in series/movies, and so therefore – we react, energetically, with emotions/feelings. Eventually the Mind will attempt/try to equate a relationship to it all through using Imagination – it’s interesting how extensively we take what is watched in movies/series/shows into/as our Imagination and let our Imaginations ‘run wild’. Series/shows/movies etc. – when watched within the starting point of emotional/feeling reactions: are like a feeding-ground for one’s Imagination, that then feeds into one’s Personalities, into one’s emotional/feeling bodies of Personalities, and then from there back into reality; how we then superimpose imaginations onto actual reality and so lose touch with the real world – so, it’s like a whole interconnected system that is created for one purpose only: Keeping you as far away from reality as possible, while stimulating the senses of the Mind/Consciousness and so we ‘lose touch’ with how reality in fact Operate / Function.
(Here, I would suggest taking a listen to an interview I did regarding watching series/movies/shows – because the Solution is obviously not to ‘stay away from it’ – because you’re then not dealing with the existent problem-point within/as you – the program will always remain then within the mind, only de-activated. So, the solution with how to approach / change your relationship to watching things from reaction to commonsense critical reasoning – can be found in the interview listed in the description box below).

This is also why one would have resistance to watching more realistic / educational shows such as documentaries for example, why in the global consciousness circuit a more definitive relationship is created to things that are more taken far from reality: it shows how far taken our own Minds/Imaginations are from reality and how we’re more conditioned to watching things that makes us FEEL something – than watching things that would actually align us to contributing to life/living on earth for all, such as documentaries with understanding how the world/humanity in fact function/exist – because within documentaries for example, because it is more in line with reality – one will not have as extensive emotional/feeling reactions AND/OR the mind will even manage to take documentaries into/as the Imagination, where you allow your imagination to run wild with what you learn/see instead of looking at it practically / realistically – geared to finding solutions, rather than react.

We’ll continue more in the next interview

We’ve got the past, present and future – also ‘The Now’, but what about HERE? Part 3 - DAY 427


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We’ve got the past, present and future – also ‘The Now’, but what about HERE? Part 3 
DAY 427


From here, we can look at how we Spiritualize our own Minds. Again, seeing oneself standing in front of the Mirror, in and as the Mirror-itself seeing one’s Mind and everything one think/feel/see within/throughout one’s day/life. What we do when we Spiritualize our own Minds is - when standing in front of the Mirror, with the Mirror as our Minds externalized for purposes of this analogy to see/realise/understand what we do in relation to our own Minds/ourselves as ourselves: we would “emphasize, for example only the good/positive things” we see in the mirror. I’m sure many have for example see in movies/series where the person will stand in front of a lot of numbers and then they “identify a secret code” through seeing very specific numbers “popping up / standing out” and how it all comes together to form an equation / a specific numerical order. Well, we do exactly the same with the ‘Spiritual approach’ to our own Minds – it’s like we see it as series of numbers/platforms of numbers and we have to identify the positive/good secret/equation. So, what we do is - take memories/energy/words for example and only emphasize / ‘sift out of it’ what we WANT to experience as ONLY the good/positive/light and the rest is ‘shadowed out’.

So, returning to the Mirror analogy – what we do is, for example, seeing a memory in the mirror – then ‘highlighting in the memory’ only the good/positive/light and the rest of the memory is simply ‘shadowed out’ with like a black-marker pen, so the illusion is created that ONLY the ‘good/positive/light/love’ exist. It’s fascinating within this how such individuals can possess themselves with such a split in their own Minds/Consciousness with the belief that “because I focus on the good/positive/light/love – the opposite doesn’t exist AT ALL within me”; but it’s all in fact just suppressed into the mind and the body. Then this delusion goes so far as when/as they react in the negative/bad – it’s apparently “everyone else BUT themselves”, because they don’t realise that they themselves, are in fact responsible for their OWN REACTIONS in their mind and body – they just can’t see WHY or WHERE their own reactions comes from, because it was all ‘blacked out and suppressed’ into the depths of the mind and the physical body.

Within this, to consider is that: “one wasn’t born Spiritual” – this is a process that is programmed in through words and feelings, repeated in the mind as thoughts and imaginations until the being believes that “I am Love / I am Light”…when the mechanics of Consciousness is not understood within this regard when it comes to words and energy, emotions and feelings as the negative and positive and how this is used to create thoughts/imaginations and internal conversations to construct/program Personalities in Consciousness/the Mind only that has no relationship to/as Reality/the Physical – but actually using physicality/physical substance to produce emotional/feeling energy, thought, imaginations to create Personalities in the Mind/Consciousness. Thus, here again – returning to the Mirror-analogy: one can resource only SO MUCH positive/good/light and love energy/thoughts/imaginations from one’s own Mind/one’s own Past, but not enough to create an entire Personality from. Therefore, one have to become ‘creative’ and so what is done on the Mirror as is done in the Mind is additional colours is added, additional post-its with words are plastered onto the mirror, glitter is strewn all over the mirror; like a child covering up all the bad/negative/reactive things in the mind with beautiful things that is inserted/programmed in the mind such as the positive/good/light/love words/energies. And then it’s focused on absolutely, over an extended period of time to the point where the ‘Spiritual Personality’ that is created takes over to such an extent that the rest of the Personalities/content in the Mind is so suppressed, the being makes themselves believe that it doesn’t exist anymore and/or that it’s all ‘other people’s fault’ when the negative/bad is experienced in their Minds and Bodies.

Again here, the Spiritual-approach to our Minds is more evolved within the past-present-future equation (in the present, creating the future from the past). More evolved meaning: In the present, the past is taken from within/as the Mind and from it is only accessed/taken the ‘good/light/love/positive’ things and the rest suppressed deeper into the mind and the body to so attempt/try to create a future that is only of the ‘positive/light/love’-nature. ADDITIONALLY, within the present – MORE information/words/energy is programmed into the Mind/Consciousness to contribute to this idealized/imagined future. What are the consequences of this when it comes to “the here” and also our responsibility to the rest of humanity/this physical existence as a whole? We’ll continue with this in the next post.

Suicide Paranoia - 3: The Creation Process of Suicide Paranoia – Energy Dimension (Part One) DAY 389


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Suicide Paranoia - 3: The Creation Process of Suicide Paranoia – Energy Dimension (Part One) DAY 389



So, let us have a look at HOW exactly we create the Suicide Paranoia in our own Minds with understanding the mechanics of Consciousness through the constructs of energy (emotions), thoughts, imagination and self-talk, the role our ‘awareness’ plays within it all and finally – how to assist and support oneself to set oneself free from Suicide Paranoia into and as a Practical, Functional Living Being that respect/honour oneself as life in and as each Living Breath.

In the previous post, we explained how it all starts with ENERGY-movement, such as an Emotion that then with awareness/attention being given to it, will becomes defined into a thought/self-talk and even into Imagination. So, we’re now going to slowly but surely walk through all these dimensions to practically see/realise and understand how a Paranoia in/as Consciousness is created; primarily because of us not understanding our own existence/relationships and dimensions within and as Consciousness/the Mind.

What must first be Understood is that: we exist in a Mind, a Beingness and Physical Body Trinity Relationship. Our Mind is a ‘interdimensional-physical System’, it is that which contains our thoughts, emotions, feelings, imagination, self-talk – everything we can participate within, but not physically ‘touch/dissect’. Our Beingness is that which is suppressed by the Mind System. One can only reference the existence of one’s Beingness through the point of Awareness. This means that, the fact that one is AWARE, the fact that one can SEE and OBSERVE the thoughts/imaginations you have for example: it is THAT which SEES, which OBSERVE, which is AWARE of the thoughts, the imaginations. It’s like, if you for a moment look at the process unfolding in the Mind/Secret Mind when you think/imagine, it’s like you’re at the same time watching it AND participating in it. If/as YOU were the thought itself or the imagination itself, you would have then seen/experienced yourself AS the imagination/thought itself, seeing/experiencing everything through the eyes of thoughts/imagination. But, we’re not, it’s more like we’re looking, watching and observing it all unfold in the Mind – thus, proving that, thoughts/imaginations are ‘separate things’ in our Consciousness/Mind. Then, obviously we have the Physical Body – that which is the ‘source of life’ for Consciousness through which Consciousness/the Mind resource its emotional/feeling energy from/of and also the ability to create the Thoughts, the Imaginations for example. This one can learn more about in the Quantum Mind Interview Series. Also, to understand more the Trinity Relationship between the Mind/Beingness and Physical Body and why our Beingness is not the Primary Awareness of ourselves/our living – suggest investing in the EQAFE Series Atlanteans, Reptilians and Kryon.

So, within the as the Paranoia of Suicide, there exist in sense of Overwhelmingness. Like, there is this “experience” of energy in one’s Mind and in one’s Body that is just SO overwhelming that one want to stop it, and is this energy that becomes defined into and as Suicidal Thoughts and Imaginations. Therefore, what we first have to Understand is this ENERGY – where/how does this energy come from? How do we Create it? Because, obviously, this energy, this experience within our Minds/Bodies was NOT there within/during our childhood – so, how did it come to possess our Minds and Bodies to the point of wanting to commit suicide? To understand this, let us draw from the Paranormal Realities of the hereafter/afterlife to from there understand how your Mind/Consciousness also function/operate in relation to ENERGY:
So, in the hererafter/afterlife – before the Portal opened, there were different dimensional planes of existence. Each dimensional plane consisting of/existing as a particular energy frequency/vibration. Your Mind/Consciousness exist in the exact same way, as your emotions/feelings can be categorized as different ‘mind dimensional planes’, because each emotion and feeling as its own frequency/vibration/substance/definition. Now, beings in the hereafter/afterlife – dependent on their substance/vibration, would accordingly align themselves into and as specific dimensional planes. With energy emerging in your Consciousness, especially a specific energy or emotion that is in the process of defining itself – will also ‘connect itself to a specific dimensional plane’ in your consciousness to start defining itself into an entity/being/force that will become a Personality in/as your Mind.

So, now we first have to look at how that ENERGY/emotion creates itself in the first place! This process can be multi-dimensional, meaning: if one reference the Quantum Mind Series, one will learn that emotional energy is produced through a friction/conflict relationship of your mind/consciousness to/as the substance in your physical body. This is imperative to understand to understand your own emotions and feelings and how they are in fact created. The moment that energy is created, it starts looking for its place, it’s definition, its purpose for its existence. Now, what can trigger the creation of such an emotional energy is memories and/or when something happens in your world/environment that one’s mind/consciousness preprogramming cannot deal with/handle and/or when/as one do not have the reasoning/understanding skills to handle/deal with that something/someone internally – this can trigger an emotional reaction. If one reference the Parenting Interview Series, we explain within it that: us Humans aren’t ‘educated’ from childhood with regards to how to process reality information commonsensically, for most part, as children, we REACT to our external environment – emotionally. The consequence of this being, that: as children, one can accumulate so many emotional reactions within you, most of them ‘undefined’, ‘cause you did not understand them – that then later in life can accumulate into and as this Energy that leads to Suicidal tendencies, because ALL that energy that one accumulated becomes SO OVERWHELMING in the mind, self and the body that one do not know what else to do with it/change it but to ‘end it’. See, beings think/believe that with suicide that you believe that you want to ‘kill yourself / end yourself’ – but, what is in fact the story within/behind it all is the ENERGY and the THOUGHTS of suicide that one want to stop/end/get away from.

I mean, as children – imagine, you come in as an ‘innocent consciousness’, not  knowing what to expect and already as a child you’re exposed to parents arguing / lashing out, loud voices, explosive behaviour, bullying from other kids, - I mean shit, here I am in this world, arms wide open and you’re met with all this shit? With NO comprehension/understanding/tools/education with regards to how to handle, direct, change the REACTIONS you as a kid experience in such circumstances and so for most part, ALL such reactions/internal processes goes into suppression, because as a child, at that stage, your consciousness is not yet developed enough to transform reactions/emotions into vocabulary/thought in the Mind. But, the moment when/as your consciousness/mind develops its vocabulary when you’re introduced to words, THAT’S when consciousness steps in and starts the process of defining prominent emotional/feelings experiences that accumulated in your mind/body during childhood.

We’ll continue with this in the Next Post

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